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Poly-Swingers - Moving beyond FWB relationship - I must not understand - I don't understand the problem - you are a 4-some and all happy about it - what is the question?
Swingers in a vanilla bar... - - Dr. Ziggy...
How would someone approach a couple in a vanilla bar if you suspect (or know from a reliable source) that they are swingers? (And the wife/gf seems to be quite friently.)
How can a single male stand out? - We single males have a (understandable) bad rep. - It seems like there are just better sites for singles aff tinder and many more swingers are picky and we get so many single guys it’s like going to buy a car too many choices and is overwhelming with the pick up line HEY or dtf no we aren’t and keep you dick pic to yourself unless asked for it it’s tiring of the single males wining about what they want why can’t they be different idk I hope the admins will help move theses post to hook up and not forum discussions I know not everyone agrees just my two cents good luck
SWING CLUBS - - This seems like a pretty standard thing for a swingers site and would be a welcome addition, especially if there's a chance to rate and/or offer comments on clubs. This would probably also be a big help in getting more couples validated, if there's a common place to meet someone. Actually, anything in the "info" section would be nice. Administrators, any idea when some of the proposed additions will be made? :)
Looking for Advice - Recently coming back into the LS - Others have told you that you aren't actual swingers. We say, who cares what they think? You are in the "lifestyle" for your enjoyment and preferences. Don't be bothered about what they tell you. However, they were correct that what you want is a "tall order". They may not have been judging you, but just giving you the reality of what you seek. But, be patient. At some point, a unicorn or a wife with a hall pass will join you. It will not be as frequently as what most of us do here, but it will happen eventually. Just keep posting. We really hope you find what you're looking for.
Too Young? - Are we just too young... - I can tell you this for a fact - based on both our experience AND our attitude - there is a whole lot LESS drama and insecurity with older swingers than there is with younger ones.
Us "seasoned" folks aren't hung up on looks (ours OR theirs) the way those junior to us are.
If you read a profile, and it specifies some aspect of how potential applicants have to look in order to be considered viable candidates for play, there's a 99% chance the profile belongs to a younger couple.
Vanity, ego, hangups and elitism diminish with age.
And as 2THAT said above, if you've never been with an older couple, you don't know what you're missing.
Boise swingers? - Any out there? - Curious to see if there are any Boise or treasure valley swingers groups? I feel like I’ve been looking and have yet to find it, but I’m sure i just don’t have the right connection yet.
Here's something Ive been curious about - - [quote=EVILDOERS]I think over the years we've pretty much seen and heard it all in regards to this subject and who is and isn't a "real" swinger. It kind of all boils down to semantics, doesn't it? Is it really that important to label it and each other? If swinging is a more of a mindset then yes, singles (male and female) are swingers too. I think, perhaps, that what some of the couples might be trying to get at (inelegantly IMO) is that in many ways perhaps singles don't really have as much invested in the process as couples do. As a swinging couple (remember it used to be called "wife swapping") you are in effect opening your relationship to some very real risk. If you don't think that's the case you either are in denial or haven't been around the scene that long. Singles simply aren't running the same risk although it could be argued they do have some risks, especially single females who at very least have some safety issues going into sometimes unknown situations alone. I guess you could argue single males also have a few risks as well. Also, of course, there is the whole argument of singles "not bringing anything to the table". An oft quoted argument to denote they don't have a partner to "swap". True enough in some regards but not entirely true in that they bring themselves and variety to the table for those couples not looking for a couples swap or who want to fulfill other fantasies or who have difficulty finding a fourway connection or attraction. Ultimately I think it's unnecessary for couples who don't want to play with singles (most often it's just single guys, a double standard perhaps?) to diss singles by saying they aren't swingers. And it's also probably not necessary for a few singles to complain that they aren't given an equal place at the table when they indeed do not come prepared to risk the same that couples must risk. Bottom line. Swing how you want to swing and don't swing how you don't want to swing. There's actually room for everyone even if we aren't all necessarily sitting at the same table.[/quote]Absolutely agree. Well said Mr Evil! BTW...Do you know if those X-Ray glasses really worked?? I always wondered...still do. I have particulair attraction to "landing strips"....They could be real handy sorting out potential play partners!
Swingers now officially a high risk group for STDs and STIs - Do your own research - [quote=KINKYPANTZ][quote=DELICIOUSLYWET]We have done our own research and we have come to the conclusion that......
Swingers are now officially considered a High Risk group for STDS and STIs just like gay men and intravenous drug users.
Google it, call the governmental entities that research the statistics. Ask your doctor and decide for yourself. Do your own research. I was initially going to site a number of research studies but I think it has more impact if you do your own research.
Get tested and go through a quarantine period and then get tested again. We did and we now know we test clean of everything including the cold sore virus. We were lucky hell we are lucky and we have decided luck is not enough. We have re-defined in very certain terms what we will and what we won't do and who we will and who we won't consider full swap sex with.
Decide for yourself but do the research and get tested. [/quote]
I didn't find an article when I googled your topic, more recent than 2010. Also the bit about swingers being in a high risk category specifically notes an average age of 45+ and of course I'm not saying that isn't applicable to some here, but come on! No wonder you didn't include links to your research...
I will tell you what makes me want to be monogamous, maybe even celibate - reading these forums! -Mrs. Kinky[/quote]
Looks like you have been reading and you did run across the Dutch research study. 2010 and 2009 here at home are in many cases the most recent data depending on what you are looking for and where you are looking. Compare those statistics with earlier studies and you get an idea of increases in risk. Data analysis is far more tedious and boring than the forums post I offer on this subject. It was not so simple for us as to just read a few articles. It is possible that the risk has gone down. I sincerely, hope that is true and we are overestimating the risk. Perhaps more people are self identifying as swingers and so more people with positive test are being included in the data as swingers. What I do not see is any real attempt at systematic education or intervention. Nothing that would suggest a reason for improvement within the community.
If swingers do not, as a group, come out of the closet as far as their healthcare providers and organizations that monitor such things like the CDC are concerned and allow for data compilation sufficient for real numbers analysis we may never really know what we are or not dealing with. It is evident that the number of people in the swinging lifestyle using technology to at least try and hook up is far greater than the numbers self identifying as swingers in clinical observation and testing. Maybe the percentages of people getting tested right here in Utah that self identify as swingers that are testing positive is much higher than the percentage within the broader swingers community that are positive?
Technology makes hooking up so much easier and it make for lack of a better term marketing the potential rewards within the lifestyle experience so much more available as well. Should technology not afford an opportunity or a forum, for the consideration of potential solutions to a problem we all recognize exist to some degree? Lets say I am an alarmist. Would not most of you like to know the real story? Well, really knowing the real story is only possible if the whole community gets tested. Knowing your own personal STD story is only possible through testing as well.
Is it perhaps possible that education and full battery testing just might be made more affordable and convenient and still remain anonymous if the community was willing to seek it out? As far as infectious disease is concern the CDC is really not judgmental. No community is an island and all communities have some effect on all the rest.
Finding a balance - Swinging and Religion - - I do think that the Christian church has it wrong regarding non-adulterous sex. After all Jesus said that the law was made up of love God with all your heart and love your neighbor as yourself. That says nothing about voluntary, non-cheating sex.
I hope there is a Christian Swingers group (When the groups are back up) because this is a good topic, I learned a lot from a group on another site.
Here is an interesting site: http://www.libchrist.com/
Mr. C
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