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Friend collectors or swingers - - It’s perhaps a cognitive behavioral issue? Not just in the lifestyle, but in general, people sometimes, often, always, depending on the person will think their emotional responses are logic based, or pure logic. How we feel isn’t how it is. Still, we can’t escape our emotions. When we have a mismatch in emotions, more often than not, it’s not a black and white whose right and whose wrong scenario. That’s our experience. We bungled that in past presents, but in the now a few miscommunications, in retrospect we’re valuable in their own way. It seems to us that people who understand that are perhaps more apt to embrace, acknowledge and enjoy their emotions, without harboring deep resentments over all the mismatching of emotions, they will encounter in the lifestyle and life in general.

LDS Swingers Survey - Will any former/active LDS swingers take my survey? - done and fun

seniors - why is it so difficult to find senior swingers or single ladies? - for what it is worth i asked sin to send me the original letter which he said he would but it never arrived-no surprise i suppose.

Adulter or Swinger? - - Loving to dance at clubs and bars, Cyn and I frequently go out on weekends and are often met by a variety of friends. Over the years, we have accumulated a number of single females that enjoy dancing with us. One of these lovely gals enjoyed meeting attractive single men and would often end up spending the night with them. Not too long ago, somehow it was brought to her attention that Cyn and I were..... "swingers". She was furious with us and expressed her dissapproval in very clear terms. After she was through venting her feelings about how disguisting it was that we could possibley be involved in committing adultry, I took a moment to present to her a few select questions. First, she saw no wrong in spending an evening with another man in sex and carnal expressions of emotion? She responded that they were consenting adults and both single.. therefore committing no wrong to anyone. I asked if she felt it was wrong not to be monogamous with just one of these men rather than continually finding new friends to experience. Again, she responded she felt no wrong with what she was doing. Why then I asked, did she find fault with what Cyn and I were doing, as consenting adults and with full knowledge of what each was doing? She responded with the comment that "swinging" was just wrong and that as husband and wife we needed to be faithful to each other. So, I asked why it wasnt wrong for her to swing but it was for us. She retorted she WAS NOT a swinger. To that, I shared the following with her... according to every dictionary I can find, a swinger is defined as a person who engages in promiscuous sex, an adulter is a married person who has voluntary sex with another person to whom they are not lawfully married to. The realization of the fact that she was practicing swinging came as a shock. It took a few days to fully sink in, but when it finally did, she accepted us with open arms for what we are, (I guess adulters), and our friendship resumed. One very important item here to consider, too often the request to bring another single individual into our bedroom is presented with the excuse that the partner doesnt like sex anymore. The solution to their problem is to cheat... or in their mind... go swinging. In our book, these people are not swingers by definition, but cheaters. Its wrong and unfair to try to use the cloak of swinging to justify being unfaithful. Lifestyles and swinging is not a remedy to solve trouble at home. Often when we decline the request to involve people in our sexual activities for the reason their spouse is not aware or doesnt approve, we hear the rebuttle.."why not? you are swingers arent you?". What ever name we give it, people need to remember... this lifestyle is all based on a few key components. Trust, respect, and the terms YES and NO. Period. Cant we keep the labels, the slander, and the lies out of what we can find to be a productive, social, and even in many cases educational activity between honest, consenting, respectable adults?

When does interest become pushy??? - - I've been thinking of this topic a lot since it first came out. I appreciate all of the comments made. EVILDOERS said, "Confidence is sexy", and I agree. I see a coupe of things here worthy of comment. First, in this game, women are totally in control. Sex is probably the strongest power position they have. All men want it, women control it. When they say no, or not interested, it's the end of the line for a man. HOW they say it is different. And how a man receives the rejection is different. Anybody who knows me social or professionally would never characterize me as shy. I'm outspoken and engaged most of the time. Because I've been rejected less than politely for advances in the swingers scene before, and after a lot of retrospection didn't deserve the rudeness of the rebukes, I'm a little more reserved, maybe even gun shy. The fact is, in this lifestyle, no matter how good you are, sooner or later you're going to get rejected. The person doing the rejecting may have had a bad day and be less than polite, but it also could be that you're not handling rejection well. Recently at a meet and greet I made an advance that seemed more than just welcomed, almost asked for, but was politely refused. I misread the signals, obviously. That happens to all of us at some time or another. The lady was polite in her refusal, and I think that's the key. I think at some time or another we all will give signals that welcome an advance, but do so in error. When an advance comes that we don't want we can reject it, but doing so politely is key. It's simple common courtesy. If the person making the advance persist, then something stronger may be necessary. Again, common courtesy would be to desist when told to do so. It's all about treating people with respect. We're in this lifestyle to be sexually connected with others. Advances are generally, but not always, welcome and expected. We need to be polite and respectful in both our advances and rejections, whichever side we're on. Mr. Sexperimentors

Kylie - ????? - [quote=Whiskey_Girl][quote=EVILDOERS]Because Utah is fuckin' AWESOME and it's a little known fact that thanks to the Mormon church and it's history of polygamy over half the population are swingers. True story! [em]Emo_4[/em][/quote] And there is nothing more powerful than hitting a house party with all six sister wives in tow and passing them out like candy 🍭[/quote]That man/couples would be the most popular people at the party by far!!!

Those damn single men! - Where do they fit in this lifestyle? - IRONHORSE360, It's been awhile since this was rehashed, so I will oblige. For us, another man can be had in a couple. The same is true of another female. We do not look for singles of either sex. For what we are looking for in the lifestyle, singles fall short in that they do not bring with them someone for the other person to play with. Anything a single man/woman can do, a married one can do. So, we choose not to even bother with playing with singles. However, we can befriend and party with anyone. BLINDLOVE, I disagree in that singles can be swingers. swinging is not a "couple" only thing. Swinger or Libertine means that you are not bound by moral restraint when you engage in sex. In other words, you don't need to honor the "holy matrimonial sanctity" of a married couple, whether you are in the married couple or wishing to engage in sex with them. So I still contend that a swinger can not be pigeon holed as a swapping couple only. REALSEX4U, Kudos to Tony Robbins Eh? LOL! -D-

pop quizze guys - you take 3 weeks to know a couple - I don't care about Poets writing skills. It's not a problem for me even though I will admit I really still don't follow what happened. That could be me and my inability to understand. The dude that didn't stop, what he was doing, to whoever he was doing it to, I have a big problem with. Anything less than a bold and unequivocal understanding that no means no and stop means stop makes the two of us uneasy, because there is way too much at stake. It's NOT a subject open to discussion or vague interpretation. The initial question about waiting three weeks and getting the green light and then being asked to stop, posed as just that, a hypothetical question, in and of itself, will illicit some direct and emotional response. No means no is pretty cut and dry for a lot of swingers. Poet never said he didn't stop, nor did he say he didn't think he shouldn't stop, he asked a question. Once it came to light, that someone, actually didn't stop, and continued on with a living breathing woman it becomes a subject that makes most everyone that is a wife or loves their wife or frankly is a woman or respects women uneasy and in my case angry, and guarded, and protective. Not yelling at Poet, which I haven't, my response to the question, and to whatever actually happened, which I am not following, is still and will remain emotionally charged. I will own that. I must admit that we both would just avoid any person or group we are not absolutely sure understands, wholeheartedly accepts, and behaves in accordance with [b]no means no and stop means stop[/b].

Polyamory, Swinging, and the Single Man - - We know a few people that associate with the poly community, as in consider themselves poly and we have been to a few poly pot lucks ourselves. The poly people we know are all very nice people. None of the people we actually know that that consider themselves poly have ever actually been in a long term full on poly relationship as in everyone involved ending up equally as committed to each other and the relationship. We have known people where a married couple, with a bisexual wife had a live in relationship with a bisexual woman but in the end it did not last very long and the couple and the woman went their separate ways and we have know a few couples that have been in exclusive relationships with another couple where part of the equation wanted to basically make it as permanent as their primary relationship and part of the equation did not. Relationships with commitments, especially those that are the most rewarding are life altering and if you are not really, all in, heart and soul the advanced level of commitment and the corresponding obligations will eventually become a burden you may be unwilling to bear. If what is looking for as an individual is deep passionate friendships without expectations and obligations, that you feel reduce your freedom, then a poly relationship and marriage may not be in their best interest. There is nothing wrong with that. If a deeply pair bonded couple wants the freedom to enjoy deep and passionate friendships with others, including sex, without the same level of obligation and expectation they offer one to another then are they poly or are they swingers? Probably more swingers than truly poly-amorous or maybe they are poly light or swinger intense. The secret may be to figure out who you are and then be true to yourself. A lack of understanding of self can lead to disappointments in relationships. Intentionally misrepresenting or misleading someone for sex rarely and probably never ends up all good. We all on occasion may unintentionally end up misleading someone when we try and be what we think others wants us to be and in the end we just do not have it in us. We can say for a certainty that we are not poly in the truest sense of the word or really even poly light. Our relationship as a couple is paramount and we willfully and joyfully commit to all the obligations and commitments and even the disagreements that accompany living our lives together and with our progeny. We both inherited genes that seem to have targeted both of us to seek out a life long partner, have and raise a family and to express ourselves sexually mostly together as a couple. We have been in a couple of longer than usual not really exclusive relationships where we were seeing the same people pretty much weekly. We discovered that we are okay with having good friends with sexual benefits but the ability or the desire to be in a poly relationship is just not within either one of us. Self discovery and relationships often requires a bit of experimentation and a lot of self examination. Affiliating and seeking to self identify with a group to achieve acceptance friendship and sex is pretty common and pretty normal. Many of the people we know that self identify as poly are not unwilling to enjoy a little sex for sex sake between friends so long as they understand that is all that is happening. Good luck and have fun!

clubs in san antonio?? - - i am new to the area and need to know where a good "club" is!! i have a g/f now and she has never been to a swingers club before!! PLEASE HELP!!