Basom Swingers in New_york

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Single Males - - [quote=EVILDOERS] ...get a girl to join you....Not only do you now "bring more to the table", but you have the added credibility that if you can find and finesse a girl into joining you in this little adventure we call swinging (whether it be a girlfriend, a wife, a second cousin twice removed, or just a hot fwb) you might just not be a giant douchecopter.[/quote] Ignoring the need to "finesse" someone and unhealthy gender stereotypes in general, this line of reasoning is a little troubling as it presumes that a male's company is inherently worth less. Or that an absence of semi-romantic relationships somehow speaks poorly of his character. I personally think approaching someone whom you aren't already fairly close with and soliciting to go to a swingers party is a bit out of line. Especially if her company is sought as an accessory to demonstrate to others that he is not, as you say, “a douchecopter”. Call me old-fashioned. [quote=EVILDOERS] I know we can't be the only people who secretly wonder just a little bit about some single guys and why they aren't with somebody. Do they secretly hate women (yes, we've met some that actually do), are they just too lazy (or busy, maybe...but hey, we're all busy) to find someone, are they serial killers and/or just not very nice guys? [/quote] Oh, I hope you are! That's a really unfortunate outlook to have. Promising relationships take time to find, let alone build to the requisite amount of trust and stability to try things like this. In the mean time, I don't see anything wrong with someone pursuing their interests while still holding out for someone worthy of their emotional investment. To me, that behavior is quite attractive should be respected! It doesn't get any better than someone who is confident, self-actualized, and motivated to pursue their desires. Sadly, it sounds their gender influences whether this is seen as a desirable trait. I'm not sure how long you've been out of things (30 years?), but it's easy to forget the struggle when you're comfortable in a marriage. Things are more fluid. People don't feel the need to settle down like they used to. [quote=EVILDOERS]I know many will say they've tried and swinging is a deal breaker for most women. After almost 3 decades in the swinging trenches meeting and talking to other people, both couples and singles, we would disagree....many, if not most, women could eventually come around to the idea of swinging once they feel safe and secure in a relationship.[/quote] This is just confirmation bias if the evidence comes from a sample of people you have met while swinging. [quote=EVILDOERS]...those of us who DID put in all the blood, sweat, and tears into a relationship and allow it to grow to the point of daring (don't think for a second we aren't risking a LOT in opening up our relationships to other people!) to allow others access to our significant other sometimes wonder why some others want to take a shortcut to all the sweet swinging bennies with little or no risk on their own part.[/quote] If you're not comfortable sharing your wife with someone you might view as a potential competition, you definitely don't have to. On the other hand, there are a lot of people enjoy it :) This smacks of the old “you must suffer as I did” chestnut.

Tooele swingers party 2 - Doing our second party - Depending on my schedule we might be able to attend, message on kik kittybang41 with info.

Exclusive Couples - couples who are committed to another couple - Ok! You have heard from someone who is poly....ME. But we are still swingers and no one expects us to be exclusive either.... anymore than we expect them to remain true to us and us alone. Polyamorous is a conjunction of a Greek and a Latin word. Means to love more than one.....I don't fall in love with everyone that we have sex with but I do have 2 secondary relationships. One woman is separated and we met her in the lifestyle.. We love, yes WE love her as much as people can feel love. The other were seeing what swinging was about and came to a club that we attend. The lady and I started talking and then on line and we discovered that we loved each other. I stopped by their house and talked to her husband and we, that couple and us are great friends and she and I are lovers.... and everything is open and above board. Recently while I was in the hospital from a heart attack, they came to visit everyday. So poly really isn't about swinging at all but there are poly people in swinging who are looking for exclusive relationships... I let people know that I'm poly because if the lady and I hit it off...... I don't want any surprises... BUT I never go looking for that type of loving relationship in the swinging community, i.e., "the lifestyle" I think that some people use the word without a true understanding of what poly really is... Poly can involve sexual relationships but those are based on love not sexual recreation. My wife is not basically poly however, she loves that lady who is not attached as much as I do... so in a way she may be poly but does not wish to define herself that way. When talking about poly and swinging one has to make a distinction as to what people are looking for in a relationship. And, let's not kid ourselves...swinging and sex with people outside of your marriage or relationship is really a relationship aleit maybe a short lived one but one all the same. I'm just a person who can and does love more than one person. Like being hetro or BI or whatever..... that's just part of my make up.. I have chosen to be a swinger and if it lead to something I hope that I have let people know ahead of time and found out their feelings on that possibility... If they are not open to that but are sexually attracted, then we can keep it on that basis and I simply have to be aware. I think it can best be analoged to a couple or one of the partners in a couple being bi. They find a couple to play with but that couple are not bi or have no curiosity in that bent.... So they play and the bi part is never an issue because they discussed it beforehand and everybody was fine with the situation.... I belong to a poly group here in my state. the group is more a discussion group although they get together once a month and every mon or Fri to discuss poly issues. Most of the people who are in that group, over 300, will say that poly and swinging are two entirely separate issues and they are totally unrelated. There are a number of members, both single and couples, who are also listed on swinger sites....They are looking for sexual companionship and maybe, if it happens, loving relationships... So poly and swinging are not so exclusive nor does it mean that poly swingers are only looking for LTRs any more than bi women will only play with couples who have bi women in them.... Being poly of Bi ain't an issue...playing is... There may be some who are in the lifestyle to find lovers... Easy to find out and make a decission about....

Those damn single men! - Where do they fit in this lifestyle? - IRONHORSE360, It's been awhile since this was rehashed, so I will oblige. For us, another man can be had in a couple. The same is true of another female. We do not look for singles of either sex. For what we are looking for in the lifestyle, singles fall short in that they do not bring with them someone for the other person to play with. Anything a single man/woman can do, a married one can do. So, we choose not to even bother with playing with singles. However, we can befriend and party with anyone. BLINDLOVE, I disagree in that singles can be swingers. swinging is not a "couple" only thing. Swinger or Libertine means that you are not bound by moral restraint when you engage in sex. In other words, you don't need to honor the "holy matrimonial sanctity" of a married couple, whether you are in the married couple or wishing to engage in sex with them. So I still contend that a swinger can not be pigeon holed as a swapping couple only. REALSEX4U, Kudos to Tony Robbins Eh? LOL! -D-

COME ON DOWN !!!!! - - The previously mentioned posts about jewelry, etc to identify other swingers disappeared when the site crashed, so bringing it up again is a good thing. It would be SOOOOO cool to know for sure if people are in or not! -SG

F*$KING FRIDAY - - Its Friday, the time all us Swingers wait for all wee, time to cut loose, and leave the week behind!! We should be talking about How we wana get naked, what were doing for the weekend, Or searching for something/someone to do!! Now that said, Whats up this weekend Naughty Swinger Friends out there!!!!

swingin - thought this site was a swingers site -

Another Swingers Show on TV - - It's nice to have an empty nest. We're planning on DVRing it.

How often do you think this happens - - In HIS opinion, it is a lot to do with the fact that MANY single men are WAY to agressive...Our experience has been that we have met 2 single men that were ACTUALLY swingers, the rest were simply looking for an easy piece of ass...Boy were they mistaken... Sure, there is some insecurity, but that seems to be less than I initially thought...After reading many of Don's opinions on single men, I think that a lot of others are of the same thought...ALso...there is a lot of the men saying, "If she gets some, I get some" we have actually heard men say that before...We have also had men storm off because there wife was wanted and they were not....but thats a whole other ball of wax.... The topic at hand, they were NOT totally honest with each other...He IS insecure...if he admits to a little insecurity, he is VERY insecure...think about it T4, you're a man, would you tell on yourself on television? HELL NO...No man would...Unless there was HUGE sums of money involved....

TALKING TO YOUR KIDS ABOUT THE LIFESTYLE? - - So, what happens when your daughter and her boyfriend show up to the same swingers party? My daughter and I simply agreed that we would play like always.