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Finding Connections - Do the majority of swingers wait to be approached? - Curious as to the activity of swingers here. Do the majority of people wait to be approached by others or do the majority search for profiles and send emails to find a connection? If you get an email, do you reply if not interested or just ignore?
What do you do to connect?
Age differences - How do you handle it - We look to make some sort of a friendship with anyone we play with so we feel the best chance that would happen is if they were close to our ages but we have found many exceptions to that theory. We are just playing the odds that a connection is most commonly found with someone of similar ages.
The reason for this thread was because of conversation we were involved in at a party recently that we attended. People of all ages were there. I was sitting with a few older ladies, who I must say were very attractive, but then they started talking about all of their ailments and it almost makes me afraid that I might accidently hurt them if we played. I want to provide pleasure, not pain.
Also a few were saying they went to a big party and it was mostly younger couples who were dirty dancing and flirting but not really playing and they felt the younger swingers are not as sexual as the older people are. One rationalized it by saying that maybe the fear of pregnancy is the issue.
We try to be ourselves at all times and if we find common interests with a couple younger or older then us, great. Since we are somewhere in the middle we can go higher or lower then our ages. We would go higher then our ages first because of the experience and maturity factors hoping their experience will provide us some fun and share their knowledge with us. We wonder what those at either end of the spectrum think and what is their biggest concerns. Great input so far from everyone so thank you for that.
Joe and Lori
Swingers In Uniform - Pay your memorial day respects here. - Juan probably watched Farenheit 911 and thinks himself and intellectual now. Facts, to this crowd, though interesting, are irrelevant. I believe the only rich white fat man to profit directly from 911 is Micheal Moore.
Per Southpark and Team America:
Go USA. Go Broncos. America, fuck yeah.
Disabled Swingers - - There are many different kinds of disabilities. Some more obvious than others. If that was a problem with me I would have missed out on so many very close friendships. One of my dearest, closet friends died from MS last year and my life wouldn't be the same if I hadn't taken the time I did, to spend with her. God Bless You Ricki....
TALKING TO YOUR KIDS ABOUT THE LIFESTYLE? - - OK, here's something just a bit off the subject - or is it?
Let's say you had your kids when you were pretty young, which means you and your spouse are both STILL relatively young. You've been swinging since the kids were mere toddlers - and you're still active swingers.
But, as far as you know, the kids have never known about your alternative Lifestyle.
Now that the kids are grown and out on their own, one night, you're at a swingers club, a house party or a meet-and-greet - and one of your kids show up with their spouse/signigicant other/date - and they're already friends with several of the people there.
What happens from here?
New Relationships - - Yep. Swinging is couples centric. If there weren't couples what would swinging even be? Hooking up. But there are plenty of couples who also like to add the occasional single to the mix. Hell, some even play that way exclusively. As far as single swingers meeting each other to form relationships (if I'm reading you correctly) that's a much tougher row to hoe. We've seen a few singles become couples over the years but they're in the minority unfortunately. The lifestyle is a tough place to date and find love for many reasons. Many couples WILL give you more than a casual look if you indeed have a regular play partner that you can bring to add to the mix. Otherwise you'll just kind of have to resign yourself to the plight of a single guy in the lifestyle. Sorry, life isn't always fair.
Are you more or less tolerant? - - We think that in regards to your own appearance that you just cannot take the negativity that will be thrown your way too seriously. When we first formed this profile there was a group that threw parties that had a strict "undressed code" as to how you should look naked. A lot of people understandably got offended and there was a lot of banter and unfriendliness in the forums. We actually got several invitations, from some members of that group to join. We declined the invitations but we were surprised we were invited. For all the banter back and forth we would not have been welcome due to our age and or some sort of flaw in the body. Perhaps the exclusivity was the sell point and the members were more average than you would expect. Not that there is anything wrong with average. What the hell is average appearance anyway? Acceptance meant you were a notch above the rest in the eyes of the members as in the only true swingers. Does feeling sexy about yourself have to come at the expense of others? I do not know if that group still exist anymore. The founder fell in love and went monogamous last I knew. Well about that same time we submitted application as it were to join an older longer established group that puts together parties because we thought the parties looked like fun. About 60 days after our submission to join the group was sent we got back an e-mail declining our participation. We could get upset and lose time and joy wondering if we just were not sexy enough to be considered among the elite or we could just move on and know we were still going to find new and exciting people and adventures anyway. The real reasons for denial are only found within the person or persons that said no and if they have their reasons those same reasons do not make them bad people. I like to think that way at least. Mrs. Delicious just told me, as she was walking out the door to an appointment, that if they don't like her there must be something wrong with them. We can imagine until the cows come home and we will probably never guess right and it really does not matter anyway. I like to think the group, that told us no, is fun and is having fun but will just not know us. You cannot be part of everything anyway. The tendency for us to imagine that any group that might reject us is full of miserable losers that would not know sexy if it bit them is not good for us and the no was probably delivered with a lot less intolerance than we are imagining. I think we should concentrate on discovering more joy by fully focusing on the doors that are open to us. We are all going to get rejected from time to time and it might hurt but don't dwell on it. Opportunities to connect and to live and love surround us all.
would you? - if you found this on your car in the morning? - Well, since we don't take the bus, probably would push it off, since it's novelty is old. The people that would find it amusing would be either A- immature, or B- Swingers. You'd run across a lot of A's but the B's are much more rare. Guess I'd have to push it off and go to work..
Open relationship - Any couples with a friend (male or female) to play with your partner anytime? - I have to agree with UTCPL 100%. Swingers Lifestyle is not about having sex on your own with another person.
Hollywood Swingers? - - We were wondering if any of you know what famous people are swingers...... we think Angelina Jolie could be, but has anyone confessed?
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