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BD/SM- Why are there no groups? - - I'm fairly certain there are at least a couple of BDSM groups here. Have you tried searching in groups? Not sure why you think those interested in this type of play would necessarily want to keep it private. These days (especially with the whole "Fifty Shades" phenomena) it's practically main stream. But yes there are outside groups...many call it the "Kink Community" who pretty much do this type of play exclusively and aren't necessarily swingers. In all actuality swinging is becoming fairly watered down these days with all the different groups (I'm thinking of polys as well as many other fetishes and play styles) wanting to be included under the big umbrella of swinging. It's a wonder anyone really ends up hooking up these days. LOL
Gun haters...gun lovers....How do you interpret......? - - First off I DONOT see the word sanctity in the amendment. You can't just add words to try and justify your side. Secondly our cicil rights are spell out in the amendments hence being call bill of rights. So I ask again which amendment gives people the right to wed.
As an aside though Don let's look at gay marriage another way. Let's say that by chance you decide to join a swingers website and state you do not want single men writing you. Now let's say that the two gay guys that got married are really only bi and they are on the same site.
Is it ok for them to contact you? You don't need to answer as it is just a rhetorical question.
What is it to being a swinger couple - Is it always this way - When you hook up with a couple, you are hooking up to the part of their life they in general want to keep secrete. They don't want you as friends that will filter into their everyday normal life. And there is always times where you know the other couple are great people, but the sex just was not that good. Most all sex is fun, but some sex is way better. You have to be able to sep real life friends and sex friends, its not often they mix well. People have their family, jobs and life in general to protect and don't want you close to any of it or should I say will risk having you close to it. It's not personal, it's reality and swinging is fantacy and you were a booty call. If you find true friends, generally the playing stops. You don't want to risk true friends for a quick piece of bootie. We see swingers who seem to have play friends that work, but if we see them a year later. It has almost always chaged for some reason. So relax, have fun and move on. There will be couples you do not want a play date with again too. :)
Why are people not answering? - - I agree totally. The most aggravating are those who send an email expressing interest, you reply courteously and never hear from them again. Might as well reply to their email with " Take a long walk on a short pier", or "Kiss my ass" for all the good it does. And those who do it know who they are...even more disgusting are those who do answer emails, schedule a meet and then disappear, never to be seen or heard from again....or they do schedule a meeting and never show up....(how many cups of coffee is a realistic amount of time to wait? ) then you realize you have been "had again". Seems to me there is an inordinate number of voyeurs vs. swingers. Jim
Oprah show on Swingers - - I just seen it too....but I think it may be a rerun. It is still pretty interesting, and makes you kinda giggle...knowing that you are doing the same thing. Oprah acts so taken back by it all.....like how could people do that. Kinda funny!! If you didnt see it the first time it came on, you should watch for sure. I agree with Cyn...if something is going on in my neighberhood I wanna join! But for those of you who have been to our home...you all know that if something is happening on our street, it is our house it is happening at....LOL ;) .......so I already know whats going on!
How to identify yourself as a Swinger - - [quote=NAUGHTYELFS][quote=DELICIOUSLYWET]We all come into a world full of pressures to fit in, put on the uniform and conform. Deep inside we have these desires, many of which are instinctual and that we can never really shed or mask and probably many more are a creation of environmental influences. We all seem to want to define ourselves as some sort of being with a center and we perhaps feel the need to display our behaviors to others and to ourselves as a cohesive definable, reliable and easy to understand image of a reality. In fact we are delightfully pliable and ever in motion and we can never really be defined as more than a snap shot in time never to be repeated at any given moment. The more rigidly we strive to label and define ourselves the more trapped and disillusioned we may feel. The application of our definitions on others may in fact become walls and barriers to deeper, sexier and more delightful interactions. Relax and experience. Ceasing to define ourselves and others may be the secret to discovering and more fully enjoying our own company and the company of others. Expect nothing and just be who you are moment by moment and as you feel desires in the moment toward others be honest. Words may be overrated and people will instinctually understand our desires beyond our words and a need for proper social decorum. Sex happens beyond and in spite of definitions. Sex that happens because of a definition may be less delightful than we expected. Hence we have all known "swingers" that become disillusioned and distance themselves from the "lifestyle". Did their sexual self die? Probably not. Did they begin to feel trapped? Possibly. Attraction including sexual attraction is very much a process of two or more individuals flowing together in a series of reactions to each other that builds and builds until sex and orgasms and joy and physical and mental epiphanies leaves the lovers swimming in a rapture beyond definitions.
Swingers now officially a high risk group for STDs and STIs - Do your own research - So I did a quick research on this subject. I found what most everyone found, 2010ish articles about 50+ year old swingers being at higher risk. I don't think anyone here has mentioned the reason why is that age group is less likely to use protection. Now I'm not a great believer that condoms will prevent everything. Hell, by the time you have touched one another's naughty bits, kissed or had any contact you have exposed yourself to a mountain of risk. That being said, condoms are a pretty easy to use method of decreasing one's risk.
As for swinging being an "official" risk group...says who? I went to the Center For Disease Control's website http://www.cdc.gov/ and looked up various search terms such as "swinging," "swinger," and "swinger party." All I found was one article that references men who do not identify themselves as gay who have met gay men at swinger parties. My thinking here is if this is such a growing and "official" problem wouldn't the CDC have a bit more to say about it? I admit I didn't spend a ton of time on this so if anyone has nothing better to do by all means please do so.
Yeah swinging may be risky but I'm pretty sure more people are injured each year from scuba diving and riding motorcycles. My wife and I are sexual and social people. For us the lifestyle is a great fit and we mitigate the risk by being selective and safe. Our tests have all been clear and by avoiding IV drug users and other risk groups we cut down the chance of getting a nasty bug. This year was my first as a severe special education teacher and I was thrown through a window by one of my students so I have to say my employment situation is a hell of a lot riskier than being in the lifestyle. I'm not quitting teaching because I love my kids, and I'm not giving up the life style because I love...well, you know!
Question - do you talk about other swingers? - I think most of us have talked about who we have met before, but there is a line that shouldn't be crossed when talking about others. Like Canitb said...it will come back on them. I think it is nice to hear that another person has "recommended" someone...LOL Isn't that kind of what the real and VIP seal is? If someone is GREAT to "hang out" with, hell I want to meet them. I mean, we NEVER talk bad about someone, but it's good to talk nicely about others. Or am I wrong?
Swingers now officially a high risk group for STDs and STIs - Do your own research - Ok. So now you are paranoid and you go out and find a couple that are as paranoid as you are. Now they go off to a family reunion and it is a large reunion. Some kissing cousin walks up and plants one on them or they try to console someone, maybe even a child that
Why are there so many swingers from Utah? - - heyy Not everyones from UT.... us Floridians make up a big chunk of this site also!! :)
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