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Just a little friendly advise to most single male swingers. - Male swingers - thanx
A Single Male's Guide To Successful Swinging - Geared Toward Swinging At A Club - [url=http://docs.google.com/View?id=ddk7w7c2_2dhmjzgpd]Article Here...Clicky Clicky! ;)[/url]
[align=center][b]A Single Male's Guide To Successful Swinging[/b]
[i]Written by an experienced full-swap couple who prefer MFM[/i][/align]
When at the swing club:
[b]1. Don't be a wall-flower[/b]
Guys who sit in the corner, or even in the middle of the action but by themselves, and wait for the conversation to come to them rarely have conversations, let alone sex. It's true, you don't want to be too aggressive or overly-imposing, but total shyness is unattractive to both the female and her husband/partner. The best thing to do is simply join groups or make conversation. So how do you do this without feeling like you're awkwardly waiting to join a conversation? Glad you asked. There are several great places in the swing club that conversation will flow and come naturally and you will not feel like you are imposing on a conversation in progress. Among these are the bar, the swimming pool, the hot tub(s), the smoking room, and the outdoor fire pit, if there happens to be one with a fire going that night. These places are great because conversation is secondary to another activity. You won't feel like you are trying to impose yourself on a conversation with strangers and they won't feel like you are imposing. People go to the bar to drink and engage in conversation. People go to the hot tub to soak and engage in conversation. People go to the pool to swim or play water-volleyball and engage in conversation. People go to the smoking lounge to smoke and engage in conversation. People go to the fire pit to get warm, roast marshmallows and engage in conversation. Are you seeing a pattern here? There is always a primary reason to be at these places where people like light conversation to augment what is going on. If you simply place yourself in these places and say "Hi", a couple, single lady, or group is very likely to strike up conversation with you. Once you take this simple step, you are literally at least 100 times more likely to play than if you keep to yourself or even sit in a high traffic area hoping someone will approach you. There is no fear of rejection because you are not asking for sex, you are engaging in conversation that should come quite naturally. The hot tub and smoking area are particularly great because people are usually facing each other in a smaller area, and no one wants to sit in awkward silence. Even if you don't smoke it may be well worth your while to sit in the smoking room and enjoy a drink or soda. No one will care that you are not smoking and, if someone does point out the fact that you are not smoking or asks you why you are in the smoker's lounge you simply say, "The smoking area is usually where you find the best conversation!" That simple phrase will spark even more great conversation, get a few laughs, prompt others to voice agreement, and makes a great ice breaker.
[b]2. Be yourself and if that doesn't work, be yourself![/b]
You are not going to fuck everyone who strikes up a conversation with you. In fact, you will most likely only play with a very small minority of the women and couples you meet. (Don't be alarmed by this, it's the same for couples and even single ladies.) So if you meet a couple or woman you want to play with and it doesn't go there, don't worry; it's not a failure. Anytime you comfortably engage in conversation it's a success. It's a numbers game: You talk to enough people and eventually you will get laid. (You are in a swingers' club after all!) Some people will not play with you on a first meet, but may play with you at a later date or time. Some couples will want to talk about you together before they invite you into their sex life. Some people will never swing with you. That's okay too. When all else fails, continue to be yourself. The vast majority of genuine swingers are VERY REAL people and they will spot a fake a mile away. And you don't need to worry about impressing the pseudo-swingers because they were never really going to fuck you (or anyone else) anyway. There's one more very important reason to be yourself: The sex will often (almost always) reflect the situation. If you or the couple/single lady are putting on uneasy airs or are feeling awkward or uncomfortable because of a front the sex will often be uneasy, awkward, and uncomfortable. While it may seem to a single guy that any sex is good sex at first, once you become experienced you will see that quality trumps quantity every time. In fact, quality leads to quantity! If the experience is comfortable and good for all involved the couple may ask you back to play again, will definitely talk you up to their friends, and the more good experiences you have the more your confidence will grow! This all all results in more play in the long-term for you!
[b]3. Don't go to the club with the expectation of getting laid[/b]
This may sound contradictory or funny, but it is one of the most important things you can do to guarantee your success and it will ensure your night is not wasted when you don't get laid. For the single male new to the lifestyle this could be the majority of the time at first. If you are trying too hard, or are too tied to the outcome you will put pressure on yourself and you will say and do all the wrong things. This is indeed a LIFESTYLE. For many couples it's not just about fucking. Of course it's definitely about fucking, but not JUST fucking. There is far more going on here than that. This is about freedom, trust, friendship, and there are a myriad of reasons couples are involved in this thing that you can never understand unless you have been a part of a loving swing partnership. While you are ultimately at the club for sex, if you don't enjoy other aspects of "the lifestyle" you are in the wrong place. If you don't enjoy more about this thing than just "getting laid", then you are just not a swinger. Save yourself some money and go to a singles bar. You will pay more for alcohol than you will at the BYOB swing clubs, but you won't be paying 50 to 100 dollars or more for the simple privilege of walking through the door.
[b]4. Don't be "That Guy"[/b]
You know who he is. If you have ever been to a swing club you have probably seen him. Depending on the club you are at you may have seen him hundreds, or even thousands of times. He's the guy who follows or even chases women around the club, makes cheesy come-ons, is way too aggressive, and usually makes a bee-line for a woman the moment her partner goes to the restroom or disappears from sight. In short, don't be an aggressive asshole. At the larger clubs these morons can run in packs of five, ten or more. Most couples are not looking for an asshole, so don't be one. And if you still think you need to be overly-aggressive to score, consider this: If a couple is willing to swing with an aggressive prick they have plenty of men to choose from. You will be one of many aggressive jerks competing for the attention of one or two couples (at best) while the rest of the couples that may be looking for a single guy will be choosing from a few single men who know and practice the secrets you are learning right now. In short: The vast majority of single men never get laid at swing clubs because they are either too shy or too aggressive. If you are going to be the jerk who chases women around the club you are going to end up jerking off with ten other men while you watch some exhibitionist couple have sex. If that's what you are there for great! If not, save yourself some money and rent a porn.
[b]5. Don't make "Jr. High School" sexual jokes or come-ons[/b]
It's just a turn-off. If the couple or single female goes there, and this seems to be what they want, then fine. But if you go there first you will almost guarantee that you won't be playing that night. An example of this is saying something like, "I've got some sausage for you, baby!" when she says she's hungry. Witty and subtle sexual innuendo can be great if it's your real personality and you are getting a sexual vibe from the couple. Picking up on flirtatious cues and reciprocating is awesome. Even steering the conversation toward the sexual at the right time is something that can increase your chances of success. These subtle skills and ability to read people will come naturally, if you are not already adept, as you gain more experience in the lifestyle and your confidence grows. It's like driving a car. You probably do things and react to situations naturally that you had to nervously think about when you first got your learner's permit. If you are not adept at picking up on cues don't worry, that skill will come! It's better not to try to force things and miss a few cues than to kill your chances with a lame joke or cheesy come-on. On several occasions when we have been interested in a single guy who is comfortably engaging in conversation but missing our cues we have simply pulled him aside and asked him if he would like to join us in a threesome. Not every couple will do this but it does happen, and more often than you think! If you are feeling like a newbie but still want to practice the skill of picking up cues and making appropriate jokes so as not to miss opportunities you probably have the following question: How do you tell if you are being witty or making a lame come-on? Fortunately, the answer is simple! If it the conversation feels natural you are probably being witty. If you find yourself looking for an opportunity to say something sexual or are trying to force it you will probably come off poorly. The best rule of thumb is this: If it's something that might come out of a horny eighth-grader's mouth it's probably best not to say it.
[b]6. Don't be "handsy"[/b]
Grabbing her tits, feeling on her leg, or being overtly physical with her is unwelcome, even if she is flirting with you and especially if you haven't been invited to do so by her and checked things with her partner. Flirting is an invitation to flirt back, not to caress her breasts, rub your penis against her, or touch her legs. There are only two universal, stead-fast rules throughout the lifestyle: 1. Ask before you touch. 2. No means NO! (In fact, any response other than yes means NO!) We actually rejected a good-looking, fun-loving single male once because he was too hands-on without permission from either of us. By the time he got around to asking the male half if we were open for play in an appropriate manner, the damage was done. The male half was still willing to consider it in light of the poor guy's corrected demeanor, but the female half, who had actually been flirting with this single male at first, had decided she did not like him. Similar behavior with other females at the club that night resulted in the same fruitless-labor for him. We ended up playing with his better-behaved, more well-mannered friend, while he went home empty-handed. (Well, maybe not empty-handed, but suffice it to say whatever, he had in his hand was attached to his own body!)
[b]7. Don't talk about your penis size unless you are asked. If you are asked, DON'T LIE![/b]
Talking about the size of your "manhood" without being asked may have the same result as making lame sexual come-ons. (If you don't know what lame sexual come-ons are, refer back to #5 on this list.) If a couple cared about the size of your penis they would ask you about it. If you are asked, telling someone your cock is bigger than it is will not get you laid; it will only get you embarrassed when the time comes for play. If it is a big enough issue that the couple feels it is a prerequisite to ask it will be a big enough issue that they will not play with you when the clothes come off. You also need to know that if a couple does ask about your penis size they may not be worried that you are too small; they may be making sure you are not too big. Contrary to locker-room opinion, bigger is not always better for all women. While some women want 8-10 inches or more, for others this will only mean discomfort. Women and couples are all seeking different things. Be honest and the right playmates will find you regardless of how big, small, or average your penis may be. If this sounds contrary to some advice you may have read on a popular swing site, don't worry. The swing club is not a web site and the same rules don't always apply. Couples who are willing to hook up off a personal add directly form a swinger site are usually looking to have a specific fantasy fulfilled, and many times the fantasy is for her to take a "huge penis". Couples who are actually in the swing club usually have a different reason for being there than fulfilling one particular fantasy. In fact, experienced swing couples have probably lived out most, if not all, of their fantasies already. They are usually not looking for a specific penis-size, but quality individuals to spend time with. So, while the swinger sites are right when they state that having a very large penis dramatically improves your chances online, this is not necessarily always the case at a swing club. It may surprise you to learn that most couples on the swing sites have never actually swung! So of course they are looking to fulfill their biggest fantasies first. This is why you see so many profiles looking for the single lady (for him) or the big cock (for her). The simple fact is most real swingers have fulfilled their fantasies and, while they may have their preferences, are not set a particular penis size.
[b]8. Lay off the super-masculinity[/b]
This is a swing club, not a singles bar. The vast majority of people in a swing club are middle-aged, secure, well-adjusted couples looking for a quality encounter to enhance their sex-lives and relationships as a whole. Contrast that to the twenty-something, insecure, shallow, bad-boy seekers at most singles bars and it's easy to see that different techniques are required to be successful in the lifestyle. The single women at a swing club are no exception to this rule. If she was looking for the type of guy you find at a singles bar she would be there. Cocky gets you laid at a singles bar. Genuine confidence is what works at a swing club. Enough said.
[b]9. Don't try to be better than her husband (Unless you are acting out a cuckold fantasy)[/b]
You are not there to be the best lover she has ever had, boost your own ego, or make her tell her friends how much better than her husband you are. You are there to serve the couple. Trying to outperform her husband or be the best she has ever had will only put undue pressure on you and may actually hurt your performance. Further, if this is your motive, you probably don't belong in a lifestyle that is based on freedom, the love between a couple, trust, and friendship. The last thing the lifestyle is about is false-bravado or adolescent, male competition. As mentioned before, some couples have what is called a cuckold fantasy and if you are asked to act that out with them this is a different story; but understand you are still just role playing! The simple fact is you can't be better than her husband no matter how hard you try. You may have a bigger cock, be more physically talented in bed, or even make her come harder than she has ever come before, but you will not be better than her husband no matter how physically good the sex is. How is this possible? It's like we said before: Couples are in this thing for a variety of reasons, but the vast majority of real swingers share a deep emotional commitment and trust most "regular" married couples will never understand. The sex they have with you is only one very small part of the experience. They are going to look back on it, talk about it, re-live it, and it will deepen their bond. There is so much love and emotional growth and trust involved in this that a simple, physical act can never compete with the overall picture or the love she feels for him. He is showing her an extraordinary amount of trust by bringing you in, especially if you have a bigger dick, are more attractive, in better physical shape, or have more stamina. He loves her immensely to be giving her this erotic adventure and to be turned on by it himself to boot! It's really impossible to explain to someone who hasn't experienced it, but suffice it to say that the love and growth that is spawned by a couple sharing their sex lives with another is beyond almost anything you could ever imagine.
[b]10. When engaging a couple be respectful of the male[/b]
Even though the female is usually in charge, he is the gate-keeper. It is common etiquette to clear things with the male if you want to play with his wife. While some couples are "anything goes" and will swing separately all night with implied permission to play with anyone they want, many only swing same room or will want to make sure both parties are comfortable with the choice of partner beforehand. Being respectful of him will go a long way with her and will help convince him that you are a genuine, good person and the best choice to show his wife/partner a good time. Even if she swings solo and there is no interaction with her man on your part, always be respectful of him and remember rule #9.
[b]11. Always be respectful of the female and remember: It's ALWAYS about her pleasure![/b]
Always be respectful of the female should go without saying, but we'll say it here anyway. We really shouldn't need to explain this. In fact, if you feel like it needs explaining run from the lifestyle as fast as you can for the benefit of yourself and everyone in the lifestyle! Once you understand this (and we're assuming you do) the other things you need to remember are what we call the Golden and Platinum Rules of Swinging. The Golden rule is: "It's always about her pleasure." The platinum rule states: "In the event that it's not about her pleasure, refer to the Golden Rule." It's that simple. If you can follow this philosophy, everything else we are talking about here will come naturally. You will have better experiences, gain a great reputation, and be invited back to play over, and over, and over again!
[b]12. Find a club where there is not an over-abundance of single males[/b]
The fewer single males, the better it is for you. How do you find these clubs? Here's the secret:
1. Find a large, metropolitan area with a few big-name swing clubs.
2. DO NOT go to these clubs! The big name clubs in the big city will be full of tourists and hundreds of single men looking to get into the the lifestyle.
3. Find a swing club with a small devoted following in a small town or outlying area 20-60 minutes from the well-known clubs in the big city.
4. Attend a party at the outlying club. What you will find is quality swingers without the mass throngs of single guys just looking to get laid.
5. Use the advice you are reading here.
You may not live in an area where this is possible or that only has one swing club. Don't worry, the advice in this pamphlet will still work even in the big clubs or where there are a lot of single men. It just works faster when there is less competition. If you are genuinely interested in the lifestyle and not just getting laid, it may be well worth planning a vacation around this strategy and going somewhere with a lot of swing clubs large and small. Again, find the small clubs with devoted followings! Single guys usually go to the biggest clubs and the clubs in-town. 20-60 minutes of travel will eliminate 99% of the competition! We usually go to a small club (JJ Western Swing) in Pahrump, Nevada (which is near Las Vegas). Vegas is a swinger mecca with several big name clubs that draw national attention. The club we frequent is in the next county over and is about a 40 minute drive. There are very few single males there and the couples always outnumber them! This is never the case at a big name club that draws tourists. One night we attended a party at JJ's that had an abundance of couples, three single females, and not one single male. This is indeed rare and may never happen again but it did that night at a small club, near a swinger mecca, with a devoted following. One thing to be wary of when seeking these clubs: If a club guarantees you will get laid or that there will be more single ladies than single men you are not going to a swing club, you are going to a brothel. If you are just looking to get laid this may be the best option for you, but if you are genuinely interested in the lifestyle, you will not find it at the so-called "swing clubs" that make guarantees.
[b]Extra Credit: Expect rejection[/b]
No, you're not going to be brutally rejected like some awkward, high school dweeb asking the snobby-prom queen for date in front her friends. But you should expect some rejection. Why? Everyone gets rejected. Expect it and don't take it personal. Most people who are not looking to play with you will be very nice in turning you down. Single males will be turned down very often for a variety of reasons. Many couples are just not looking for a single male. The simple truth is, if you practice the previous 12 principles, you won't find yourself asking all that much anyway. Things will naturally progress and you will find yourself playing as the result of this natural progression. But if and when you do proposition a single lady or a couple, simply be prepared to hear the word, "No". We're not suggesting that you set yourself up for failure by any means. Just know that you will be turned down at times, and sometimes it will happen often. By expecting some rejection, knowing that it's a part of the lifestyle and that we ALL get rejected on occasion, you won't take it personal or let it interfere with your confidence; and confidence (not cockiness) is the key here. Rejection is not the end of the world. In fact it can be a good thing. When a couple lets you know they are not interested in playing with you, you can move on and not waste anyone's time or continue to enjoy some good conversation without the added expectation. No, rejection is not the end, it is simply a fresh start and a new beginning!
Welcome to the lifestyle and may your experiences be as fulfilling as our have been!
Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - K_T, hmmm...now I can't wait to see what you and Mr. Two come up with, though remember Mrs. K_T and I probably have a few really good ideas of our own too ;)
Swingers now officially a high risk group for STDs and STIs - Do your own research - http://www.fbi.gov/about-us/cjis/ucr/crime-in-the-u.s/2010/crime-in-the-u.s.-2010/offenses-known-to-law-enforcement/crime-clock
In the US:
There is a murder every 35.6 minutes
A forcible rape every 6.2 minutes
A robbery every 1.4 minutes
An aggravated assault every 40.5 seconds
A burglary every 14.6 seconds
A larceny-theft every 5.1 seconds
A vehicle theft every 42.8 seconds
A car crash fatality every 16 minutes
A car crash injury every 14 seconds
A reported crash every 6 seconds
If you live, you play the game. You take certain precautions to protect yourself, but you live in a world filled with risk. And if you play a sport, or jog, or even drive, you run certain risks.
If you don't want to accept the risks, don't do the activity. Doesn't mean if you do accept the risk that you shouldn't take precautions.
And if you are playing in a group that frequently doesn't use protection, you may want to find a new group. We have always used protection, and we have noticed that it is common at all the parties we attend with the majority of couples. Those that do bareback seem to have their own group within the group for playmates. For those that don't most bring their preferred condoms, and hosts tend to provide packs in all the play areas.
Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - ok fuck it just line up at my door and i will fuck everyone that cums through it..
oh don't forget to bring your livestock,,
then you can call me a slut..lol
kristy
(Utah) HOT AND WILD ORGY PARTY! - DESCRIPTION (Notice:) *Looking for Open Minded and a Discreet person / And I can message only on em - DESCRIPTION
(Notice:)
*Looking for Open Minded and a Discreet person / And I can message only on email. Thanks. Kindly email me for more question.
By the way, I am Angela 27 white. We are conducting an upcoming orgy party in this area? If you are looking for GROUP of FUN. Come and join us. Or Email me here at ([email protected]))
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"Party Descriptions:"
Cuddle Party is open to anyone 18 years or older. All ages, races, religions and LGBTQ community warmly welcomed.
* Do you long for more touch, nurturing, or affection in your life?
* Is it hard to find safe, non-sexual touch?
* Are you ready to explore conscious connection, authentic consent, and empowered boundaries?
Then a Cuddle Party is the place for you! Come and experience the abundance of love and nurturing touch that is available to you. This is a GREAT place for beginners!!!
We are a recently established group of experienced and semi-experienced swingers who meet on a fairly regular basis at a number of locations in our member's area for group fun. It is a safe, comfortable and fun environment for all, You can be single, a couple or an existing group of swingers with experience or those new to the scene "
It doesn't matter if you want to join in with a full sexual group experienced.
Play as a couple or just watch you will still be welcome and all personal boundaries are respected at all times. Some of us are straight, some bi, and some bi-curious so whatever you fancy getting in touch and we will consider you for our next meeting.
There’s no question about it ~ we all crave more touch. The body's bliss hormone, Oxytocin, is released by nurturing, welcome, consensual touch and is essential for the wellbeing of your body, your heart, and your spirit. Your nervous system, blood pressure, and emotional health all benefit from healthy, heart-full touch!
Safe touch also enhances your ability to connect with and trust people, your capacity to respect and care for yourself, your creativity, and your sense of safety, comfort, and belonging. Infants who are deprived of touch fail to thrive, and we never outgrow that need. In today’s high-tech low-touch society, we especially crave the authentic connection, deep listening, and nurturing touch that we were born to receive.
Though touch is natural, the skills that make it welcome and enjoyable sometimes need to be learned and practiced. Skills of communication, expressing boundaries, asking for what you want, and saying ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ with clarity and kindness.
At a Cuddle Party you gain:
* Clarity and confidence about your wants and needs
* Boundary and communication skills
* Comfort, support and encouragement
* The secrets to welcome, relaxed, platonic touch
* Satisfying your pleasure.
WHAT TO EXPECT
During the OPENING EVENT we have TOY SEX PARTY SHOWS!
FREE BEVERAGES DRINKS AND FOODS.
CONDOMS AND SEX TOYS.
LOGISTICAL DETAILS
Be sure to REGISTER in advance. There are a limited number of tickets (20) available. Confirmations with complete details and directions will be e-mailed out to those who register. (Please Email me before buying a Ticket)
Early Registration: $35
Regular Registration $50
PLEASE BE ON TIME. Doors lock at 7:15 pm! Plan to arrive between 6:30-6:45 pm
The opening Welcome Circle is for introductions and to go over the Agreements of the Cuddle Party. This is an important aspect of the Cuddle Party experience and creates a safe container for all participants. It is essential that everyone be on time. Once the Welcome Circle begins, no late arrivals can enter.
WEAR your Costumes. (Costume is provided on the party. You must need to ask, how to get it.) This will be a shoe-free environment, so please bring and wear socks if your feet get cold. Out of consideration for other participants, please be fresh and hygienic and DON’T WEAR any strong fragrances, colognes, or perfumes.
*BRING your open heart, and be prepared for the open hearts of others! Optionally, consider bringing a pillow and blanket or any other soft fluff to enhance your snuggling experience.
CANCELLATIONS AND REFUNDS
*If you cannot make it, let me know immediately!! There may be a waiting list of people who really want to come! I can only fill extra spaces if you notify me in enough time. Out of kindness to other snugglers, please email me immediately if your plans change.
* Refund up to 1 days in advance.
* If you decide by the end of the Welcome Circle that it isn’t the right time/event for you, you may leave and receive a full refund.
* If you are a no show, or arrive after the doors have closed, no refund.
------------
PS: YOU MUST NEED TO AGREE THE TERMS AND CONDITIONS. ASK ME IF YOU WANT TO REVIEW IT.
swingers helper... - I know some of us need this every now and again... - been thinking about taking up cycling!
The Fun of the Chase - - I wouldn't even call it "the fun of the chase" as much as just liking to get to know people a little bit before jumping into the sack. I know there are plenty of swingers who really prefer no prelims of any kind and just getting down to the sex but that's not usually us.
For us there has to be an attraction on at least another level beyond simply physical attraction. Personality and being able to carry on a conversation are very important to both Ms. Evil and I. We much prefer to talk, at least a little bit, and get to know people a bit better and maybe flirt and tease and kid around a little bit. We find that it makes the sex a LOT hotter if we like you at least a little bit first. :-D
BUSTED! Your Kids Found Out Your Swingers. Now What? - - are you all kiding , go "on line " you will find everything and more of what i am claiming to be TRUE , you will find helpfull info. there , i gain nothing if you trust me or not its your children and as i said some children had good luck some did not....{it might be that some children that have been exposed to porn and nudity can cope with swinging parents better}
Polyamory - polyanorous couples. - We have been in a Poly relationship with another couple for 2 years. There have been lots of great times and some rough times we have had to work through. It takes a completely stable marriage for the spouses and tons of open and honest communication from everyone involved. Both marriages are going on 20 yrs+ Every poly situation is different. Some have very strict rules, however we chose not to have rules. We just have mutual respect for one anothers marriages and each individual relationship between the four of us. If it ended today, I would have no regrets what so ever. Our lives have been enriched beyond belief and our marriages are stronger and happier than ever. I have learned so much about love, relationships, communication, and myself during these last couple of years and I wouldn't change a thing. We started out as Swingers and still have Swinger friends, but we are emotionally and sexually faithful to our partners. Five years ago, I could never fathom loving anyone else besides my husband. The other couple's kids are grown and we still have 2 at home. We will not tell our children the extent of our relationship with our couple until they are out of High School. Some Poly people blend homes and families. We chose not to do that, but do not judge those who do. Poly relationships are very challenging to say the least. It can be wonderful as well. Just my bit :)
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