Higginsville Swingers in Missouri

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Calling all losers! - LS and club scene - As a single male (when we are invited), it's hard to make any connections in a LOUD club. I have some female friends (whom I'm sure that many couples would love), but inviting them to a loud "swingers" environment, isn't always attractive to them. On the other hand, a quiet, more relaxed/intimate setting is much more desirable to the women that I hang with. Also, if a couple would be willing to take a chance on a single male, dinner and drinks might be a lot less threatening for everyone involved. No expectations.... just getting to know each other.

Advertising your self - Do it like You would a house or car - If your job is at the stake you are not getting paid for that anyway. Most swingers are willing to comfort you and greet your hole (Well your wife's hole) with a kiss if your ward or stake finds out and you get excommunicated. Think of all the money you will have to buy naughty school girl outfits and a camera to take pictures once you no longer have to pay your 10%. We saw Oozing Pustules as the lead off band for Jack Off Jill. They sucked!

This Weekend? - - Hall Party in a St. Louis hotel....swingers event....what fun.....free beer and good food....for couples only....THATS WHERE WE ARE HEADED FOR SAT......:z

Ways to point out Swingers in public - - HAHAHA Yeah, I wouldn't ever think it is a guarantee on any level. We always wonder when we see other women wearing them. But as you mention, it seems like A LOT of people wear them, so we would never approach someone based on that. :) Hopefully at some point someone does approach us based on how i'm dressed, etc. But in our experience it means more for our playtime and fun than anyone else :)

RV Swingers? - - Well, shortly the wife and I will be buying a new RV and traveling full time for a few years. Is there anyone from the lifestyle that are full timers? We are pretty excited to get out and travel some and meet new peeps.

What about the lifestyle didn't meet your expectations? - Preconceptions and disappointment. - I'm home bored, so stop here if you don't want to read a bunch of shite. lol. I think we both entered the lifestyle with some preconceived notions of what the people in the LS would be like, but that was mostly from our limited experience with being vanilla and having LS peeps try to hit on us. It just seemed creepy, desperate and gross at the time. We assumed most of the players would be super aggressive, ready to fuck anyone and have zero interest in relationships outside of sex. Our initial entry was simply to watch and be watched. We quickly learned that there are just as many wonderful people in the LS as out of it. Maybe more. There will always be the outliers, the few percentage on each end of the spectrum that are more extreme, but that happens in any population. Overall, it was a happy surprise. So that would be a negative expectation that wasn't met. As far as things we were hoping would happen or expectation that weren't met, we have very few. But we also went into the labyrinth without really expecting or assuming anything. I don't think we were naive enough to think that this segment of the population was somehow immune from the social characteristics that reveal themselves in any other social class or group. You will always have the "cool kids" the "shy people" the "jocks" the "geeks" the people who classify themselves as the "pity party" and blame the world for their problems. Those things will exist anywhere and should. Swingers are a diverse group of people with a few, maybe very few, common goals. Those goals I think are to meet others with social deviancy and those interested in expanding their sexual experiences or simply to meet new friends. Swinging, in itself, doesn't solidify your beliefs in anything else (politics, food preferences, choice of travel location, or even how or what you are looking for as swingers). I think that is where expectations can fail. If a person goes into a situation thinking, "I/we think "x" so everyone else must think "x" as well", they are bound to be disappointed. I've said this a lot of times, the lifestyle is not black and white. Life isn't black and white. There will be frustrations around every turn if you allow yourself to be duped into thinking your way of thinking is more than just your viewpoint, that it is universal to everyone. I see people complaining of flakes, people who meet once then run away, etc. That's how they roll. That's their truth. It's what they are comfortable with or wanting and who am I to judge. That being said, I don't have to associate with them and hopefully learn how to avoid that situation or become more efficient at finding people with similar interests. The lifestyle is work. Sometimes a lot of work. I think it's foolish to think that it should be easy to find 4 people who all jive. Think about how many people you have dated before settling on the right one for you. And to assume that somehow changes in the lifestyle and that after chatting on kik for a few weeks then meeting over drinks will somehow magically connect you. Ugh. Sometimes it happens. Sometimes not. But I wouldn't expect it. For others, the thought of any connection past the one-nighter is absurd. Why would you want to make friends with your fuck-buddies? It may be too risky and cause too many emotions. Point is, we are all different and that is what makes the journey so beautiful. And, just a note about flakes, since it is a recurrent theme. Yes, maybe there are more flakes in the lifestyle, but I'm guessing it's specifically related to the nature of the LS. Swinging for some can be very intimidating and frightening. Sometimes the chase is much more fun than the fucking. Not excusing them that do flake, it seems a problem for sure, but I think I understand, at least in part, why it happens so much. There is so much social pressure not to be in the lifestyle and most were brought up without it being the normal way to live. So society is telling us we are wrong, gross, deviant, etc. Add to that the fear of actually getting naked and fucking someone else and it can cause a lot of anxiety in some. When we first started we were petrified to even go the parties thinking it was going to be a fuck/rape fest. lol. Turned out we were wrong but it was a learning process. Lastly, if you are already treading carefully and the couple/person you are supposed to be meeting gives off any bad vibes, maybe flaking is best. It's hard not to hurt someone's feelings and honesty isn't always what happens. I know we have been honest with couples and it turned into a shit-show. Why don't you like us? If you only meet us and give us a chance we can prove we are wonderful. Other's like us, why don't you. It's hard to be honest at times about why there isn't a connection. May flaking be a way to spare feelings? I don't know. There are probably a plethora (Hefe, do you know what a plethora is?)of reasons people flake and some of those my be that they are just douches. But likely there are other people that aren't and are just trying to get out of a situation they are unfamiliar with. Avoid the douches but maybe give those others a second chance. Evil: always good topics you bring to the table. So you think because people like sex they should be good at it? I know a lot of people who love food but suck at cooking. haha. Maybe having too many options on the table can also make people lazy. I don't have to try hard if I know tomorrow is another partner. To some it's the quantity and not the quality. But I can see why the expectation would be there. All in all we really have no complaints. It's been a fascination journey. Some ups, some downs, but always and adventure. We will keep our expectations low, both of ourselves and those around us. Less disappointment that way. I'm going back to sitting in my underwear, drinking a beer and watching TV. Zero expectations. haha. :) Mr. SRO

who starts? - - [quote=ARISTOTLE801] You would think, as much as the phrase [i]communication is key[/i], gets bandied about people would really want to actively engage in communication. It would seem natural that the more experienced parties would take the lead in discussing how things get done much like flight instructors explaining that when the oxygen masks drop from the overhead compartment, you place it over your head, secure the elastic strap and breathe. However in this lifestyle that couldn't be further from the truth. The problem is that if there is too much chit chat then someone is always in danger of being dumbfounded by the use of a big word. It's hard to be sexy when all the blood is now rushing to your head in a desperate attempt to draw upon a vocabulary that just isn't there in the first place. How do you get around this? Well, I certainly don't need to explain the folly of having a dictionary next to the hot tub. This is why it is strongly encouraged that swingers incorporate healthy role-play. When trying to get that new couple to first base it's best to stick with the basics. A good old fashion game of Neanderthals...ahem, excuse me, I mean cave people. Then the fun can proceed upon simple phrases like, "You look good" or "Me touch you now?" When becoming aroused you might say, "Oooh, this is how make fire," or "I look in hole for water," to facilitate cunnilingus. This role-play is especially helpful to those who don't have hot tubs, or who may have suggested strip Uno because they thought a

9/11/21 NCL cruise to Alaska - Any swingers cruising along with us. - Are there any swingers cruising to Alaska in this cruise. Cruise ends the 18th

An out of this world (or state) encounter - swinging parties - [quote=UTCPL]The problem we have noticed in Utah is that there seems to be far more wanna be swingers than actual swingers. There are quite a few who think if the girls kiss or show their titties then they have had a great swinging evening. To us it is a lifestyle not a fad & the cool in thing to pretend to do. We almost always avoid house parties & private parties for this reason. In fact we almost prefer finding new couples & singles in a regular club & converting them over to swinging over meeting playmates here because it's easier & usually less drama. Not to mention it helps weed out the wanna be's & the ones who used a 20 year old photo that was taken when they still had teeth or before they put on that extra 125 lbs. [/quote] Hmmm..sounds like you may be hitting the WRONG house parties...We have had a blast at the ones we have gone to...and no...not just girl kissing..and flashing titties...nope!!!

Being Stood Up - Sucks to be stood up - [quote=UTAH-CPLE-2006]carrier, now thats just funny. that said, swingers are as a rule flakes its gonna happen so we recomend just meeting someplace you would go anyway that way when people flake off you can just enjoy your evening without them.[/quote] great advice