Perley Swingers in Minnesota

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I Have A Question - Poly vs. Open - Most of the people we know, who self define as polyamorous, are really interested in something akin to a romance, with some level of commitment. Obviously, we don't know all that many poly people. In the double digits, not even the triple digits, and, most of them already knew each other before we met them. Like swingers, the people we know share a sense of some sort of group identity, and group activity. We have been to a few events a few years back and felt pretty welcome, albeit, we are not exactly on the same page. We were upfront about it. Nice people! It's a pretty small sampling, so it should be taken as an anecdotal, rather a description of the way it really is, or should be. We want to avoid labeling a whole group. Open marriages. Most of the people we know who self identify as in open marriages, seem to be in one committed relationship, which often includes children, shared bank accounts, all the trappings of a vanilla relationship, and closed in those aspects of life, but as a pair, they have each others blessings, to have sexual affairs and romantic relationships, with other people, that really don't have to include their primary partners presence. Most of the people we know, that self identify, individually, and as a couple, as in an open marriage, started out swinging as a couple. Swingers scene is the closest thing to a group that they may move in as a collective. We are somewhat in this category. We tend to only take the relationship to this level when one of us has an especially strong connection with someone. Here again this is an anecdotal accounting based on just the people we know.

Curious Question - - The reason this website has so many swingers in Utah is probably because it is based here and Rob does a great job of getting people here interested in the lifestyle and this awesome website.

Curious Question - - Hi all, my hubby and I are going to be moving from DC to Reno, NV. very soon. From what Chris has told me is that there is not alot out there as far as "Big" cities that we are used too. SO... I was just curious as to why there are so many Swingers in the general Salt Lake City area. and don't get me wrong, there appear to be LOTS of exemptionally beautiful people out there, so its just a curious question for the uninitated. Thanx for the time.:p

Swing Clubs in Las Vegas - - We are going to be in Vegas the middle of November for 5 days. Staying at the Hard Rock or Planet Hollywood, haven't decided yet. Are there swing clubs there that you would recommend? Also this is our first time in Vegas, what are the "must do's"? Not the boring stuff you would find on tripadvisor, but the fun stuff that swingers/nudists would do ;))) Thanks!!

Sex vs. Guilt - Atheists have 'better sex lives than followers of religion who are plagued with guilt' - I hope the Admin doesn't mind this. If so, delete it. I found this interesting; a swingers site in Utah for Mormons. http://www.sdc.com/utah-swingers/church-of-jesus-christ_lds-swingers-utah.html Mr. Seperimentors

Can you be in love AND swing? If so, tell us how! - - I guess I will make a much stronger response. The lifecoach is full of shit! My wife and I are both on second marriage and the previous ones fell apart because of cheating. It wasn't the sex it was the lies, the betrayal of trust. My wife and I love each other like crazy. Swinging is a recreational activity we could do without if we no longer like it. Even during swinging I am only sharing my wife's body, her heart belongs only to me and vise versa. We didn't get into swinging to FIX anything. We got into it because we wanted to add to what is already great for us. It was not a replacement for something missing. our premise is making friends and if we have sex fine and if not we have a friend to do things with. Also if anything swinging made me love my wife even more. Her love and trust for me cannot be affected even by me having sex with others. We have a couple of times swung (if that is the word) separately and she came back to tell me about it and did so with my knowledge that is what she was doing. And of course vise versa. We still trust each other and love each other. Plus while swinging I can see other men, or women, pleasing her and get a view of what she looks like from a different point of view than I have when making love to her. As others have said, as long as you communicate, don't take things too personal, and maintain trust swinging will be fun and not hurt your relationship. When I say don't take it personal I mean like one poster said you should be able to say "she give good head" or she is talented. LOL we had been with a guy in a threesome and the guy did something that I have never done and made the wife Cum really fast and hard. When she had recovered she blurt out without thinking "You have GOT to learn how to do that!!!!!" It kind caught us both off guard but we laugh about it now. She didn't say "I love him more" She said "DAMN he has a technigue that send me through the roof!" I have learned from the guy how to do it and have used the technique several times. Even if I can't duplicate it so what? She still LOVES what I do to her too. More importantly we still LOVE each other totally. OK OK I willget off the soapbox. It just ticks me off that people who are supposed to be great at teaching relationships most of the time have relationships that suck yet they can tell you how to do it. BULL. Save the money for the LifeCoach and take a trip with a plane full of swingers and go to HEdonism III. It would be money better spent. LOL I will quit now.

Question for men - Honest - Sad to say but this place is going down fast! when this is one of the more popular forum topics on a swingers site LOL … #titanic

Meet swingers in Tooele - Where do the swingers hang out in Tooele? - There is swingers in tooele county???? Where? Lol mmmm

Are there any real players on this site? - - [quote=Mayaswellplay]We have met some really fun people on this site but we are I Utah and it seems to be more active here. I think half the profiles think they want to be swingers, make a profile then get scared and never come back. Lol.[/quote] We have a similar opinion. Having lived all over the country, while participating in the lifestyle, we have observed that Utah has an entirely different, and quite immature vibe when it comes to swinging. We believe being on the site is what gets them off. They're being SUPER naughty, crafting fantasies together, but doing nothing more than taking up space. The forums are a great example of that. All these threads about posting pics are lame AF. "Whose got the best ass!", "Show us your big dick", "TITTY TUESDAY!!". WTF ever... that's Jr. High stuff. You really don't see it on other sites the way you do on this one. In other parts of the country, they don't want you to post a pic of you pussy. They want you to get in the car and bring it over to the house to get fucked. After all, that IS the point. From the outside looking in, having experienced both sides, Utah is comical AF!

That little nudge many of us need - - We think honesty is the best way to be. If she found out about the meeting without her knowledge, your tryst into the lifestyle may be over. Plus, she might feel the pressure to play at some point anyway. Also, she will always wonder if the next meeting is arranged without her knowledge. Evildoers is correct in meeting with zero chance of playtime. Take their advice. She will feel more relaxed and could enjoy herself with the pressure off. We will take it a step further: Step 1: Set up a date with ZERO playtime opportunity and let the other couple know that. Do something fun (a hike, Topgolf, etc) and get to know them. At the conclusion of the date, let them know that if they do not receive a message from YOU within 24 hours, you don't feel you are a match. Step 2: If you send a message to meet again, let them know your intent and your boundaries. For example, (kissing ok), (fondling ok), (bi kissing ok), (same room, separate room, either room ok), (nudity ok or not). But, speak honestly with each other about this. It's not nice to lead people on after you have committed. At the conclusion of the date, let them know that if they do not receive a message from YOU within 24 hours, you are not ready to go further. Step 3: If you send a message to meet again, let them know what is acceptable. For example (full swap or soft swap), (same room, separate rooms or either ok), (kissing or no kissing), (bi play) etc. Again, you will have to be honest with yourselves if you can do this. By a third date, the other couple has invested a lot of time in you. So, be nice and don't lead them on. Enjoy the playtime. Save enough time for the afterglow sex with them relaxing, chatting, and laughing. By this point, you may have found a couple that you can see multiple times. Doing vanilla activities with them might be a bonus. They may even introduce you to their lifestyle friends too. The other option is attending a house party where play is not expected. You will be able to speak to several couple and perhaps, use the process above. Or you can play that night. When we entered the lifestyle, we never had that couple who could mentor us. After we considered ourselves as no longer newbies, we became the newbie "whisperers" to offer what we never had. However, we've gotten away from newbies since our circle is with experienced swingers now. But with covid, we would date newbies again.