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Burnt out from searching - - [quote=ThroughTheVeil]Maybe the problem is that you're shooting too high?
I mean, don't get me wrong, everyone has their preferences, and at the end of the day, you shouldn't do anything (or anyone) you don't want to, but were in a similar boat of having to reach out a lot and getting rejected, a lot... even after making quick contact (or even longer contact) with a couple. Now if we didn't care who we met up with, we'r would have a different couple every night we had free time and some to spare, so having standards is important for time management also. What I'm saying is, if you're frustrated with how little (quality) contact, maybe you should give more people the benefit of the doubt.
I can think of couples that we initiated contact, 4 or 5 times before meeting, and then when we finally did, had a great time and became good friends, but that also meant reaching out to couples 6 or 7 times before realizing we were wasting our time swallowing our pride over them.[/quote]
The Lord and Lady of the Veil (Vale?) make a very good point. We've found that MANY swingers (Ourselves included.) are somewhat predispositioned (Yes, I know that's not really a word.) to constantly be on the lookout for what we might consider the perfect or ideal couple/connection and thus ignore people we might actually end up having a fairly great connection with because they didn't check one of our boxes for things thought we were looking for. Far too often it's too easy to overlook a good or even great couple when searching for the perfect one (That might not actually exist!). How much great or even just good sex might we be passing up in the pursuit of perfect sex? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Are you still interested! - Dynamics amoung swingers - Maybe its just us.. but we certainly find we go through stages. Some (like now) when were very social and meeting lots of people and some when we just hangout with the same good friends and maybe not swing for months. Alot depends whats going on in our lives, how busy we are and of course if there are any people worth meeting.
YOLO Cruise April 26 2009 - swingers cruise - Hi all U "cruzers" out there...!!! Are U ready to PARTY, we are... as usual. Looking forward to gettin with old friends & new "playmates"... we'll be at Caliente the weekend the ship leaves, so if your in the area, Saturday night is a "Bon Voyage" party at Caliente, Wanna Cum...!!!
Hugz,
Bob & Christa
STD/STI Testing - - Actually it was closer to 1981 When HIV became aware to the medical community in the US if that is what you meant by that 1989 date. http://www.avert.org/aids-history-america.htm
HIV and HSV are the two nasties that should be of most concern for most swingers as they are incurable and HIV can be deadly. Both are costly in terms of lifelong medications but also in quality of life. They will be with you FOREVER!
HSV can pass by something as simple as a kiss and or oral.
Do clean test results mean something? YEs and No! Mathematically speaking the risk is related to a pyramid factorial equation. Meaning, for each new partner you have that is untested you are basically adding in the risk of not just that one person (Primary) but all the persons they have been with (secondary) and all the partners that those secondary people have been with etc etc.. HIV has been know to take up to 6 months of lag time from exposure to when it shows up on a test but 90 days is normally considered the standard waiting period. So any primary partner you play with who has been with someone in the past 90 days before they were tested still could have given HIV to you.
Granted HIV is rare. But HSV is not!
HSV cant take 2-3 weeks to show up on test results.
70-80% of the population will test pos for HSV as there are many folks who have the mouth cold sore HSV 1. To keep it simple sometimes in the testing HSV 1 really shows up as HSV2.. SO sometimes this means if you do test positive for HSV 2 it is really only HSV1. This is one reason Planned Parenthood will try to talk you out of this 160$ test
One more thing to add. Most people still think as long as they dont have an open HSV 2 genital herpes outbreak they are good to go. This has been found to not be true. There is a relatively new phenomenon recognized in the scientific community called Viral shedding.
http://herpes-coldsores.com/viral_shedding.htm
Another worry that is rare but possible and I know of a recent case where a person gave someone Oral herpes HSV1 to the genital area of another person.
There is also Chlamydia that everyone almost laughs off because a single dose of meds will cure it! The sad thing is if you got CHLAM you could have got HSV or HIV also as they run together. TO explain this if your had a partner that gave you Chlamydia they could have just as eaisly have given you some other things.
SO what is the safest thing to do. No play with anyone other than your main partner.
But if that is not what you wish then:
The safest thing would be for both Prospective couples to stay monogamous for 90 days and then get tested.
This is all true to the best of my studies but anyone please feel free to correct me.
Swingers Kickball Society - - We would also be interested.
Moab Utah - Swingers in Moab - [quote=Utahldscouple]We are thinking of setting up a trip last weekend of September. Who would be interested?[/quote]
We would
new to the scene - - Can you give more clarity on the type of advice you seek? This will help those that are sincere in their responses to give honest answers. There was a post not long ago about swingers and where to start. We will try to find and let you know about it and or put it on the front here when we find it.
Southern Utah Parties - - We are in St. George. There isn't a vibrant scene but ibwouldnt say it is a ghost town either. It isn't a swingers paradise
couples with kids - - We have 4 kids, 3 of which are under 3 years old. An 8 year old girl, 2 year old twin girls, and a one year old boy, so we totally understand the frustration that comes along with being loving parents and active swingers. To two worlds aren't always compatable. We have tried in vain to find a good sitter for all the kids, so most of the time we end up swinging when our oldest is off at a sleepover with a friend and the other babies are in bed. Today for instance, my wife and I had our girlfriend over for fun till 5:30 this morning and the kids got up an hour later!lol. So I am up with them taking care of the kids while the women sleep it off. Hard, but a small price to pay for a hot 3-some! Anyhow, as most swinging parents know....get it when you can, and if not....NO BIG DEAL. The kids needs come first. It's only sex after all. Just would like to say thanks to all the hot couples in Utah that have invited us to house parties etc. Some day we will get a sitter and get out of the house! I promise! ~A & J~
Advice - Advice for a new couple venturing out - You might consider starting here....
Say Yes To Swinging - this is the book you want the read if you think Swinging might be something you would like to try. Includes information about how to discuss the topic with your partner.
Let's Go Swinging - this is the book you want to read once you decide to become swingers.
Both books are available on Amazon for $6 in Kindle format.
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