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Breaking the 4th wall - meeting a swinger in a vanilla situation. - [quote=BLUEIDKAT]
Basically my e-mail was:
"Hi, I'm James, the male half of Blueidkat, I work as a sales rep for a national beverage company and consequently call on a lot of retail locations along the Wasatch Front. The other day I was at Blah business in Blah City and noticed someone who looks a lot like you. I know with all the swingers in Utah I must bump into some, everyday, and not realize it. It was so cool to possibly recognize a lifestyler out there in the vanilla world and just wondered if I was right."
I understand the whole fear of being stalked and the need for anonimity but are we that afraid? Do we need to be?[/quote]Hey Blue, I know you guys didn't mean anything sinister! But yeah, that'd give me a bit of the creeps. If others read this, I'm sure they'll pipe in with some righteous opinions about how right you are and golly we all need to be proud of ourselves and such because of your statement/question, "I understand the whole fear of being stalked and the need for anonimity but are we that afraid? Do we need to be?" Hopefully few others will read this so we'll not start the whole "Having pics in the profile or not" argument again! :)
To answer the question/statement you articulate above, yes, some folks do need anonymity. There are those folks that have a license for their job issued by County or State governments. Obtaining that license is considered a privilege, just like a drivers' license. No, the government can't search you or do medical tests on you against your will -- unless you want to drive. Then you acquiesce to their demands because you want that license. No, the government can't fire someone for perceived violation of a "morality clause" found in a licensing application. They can, however, deny or publicly harass a person about a license. Without that license many folks lose their job. Not good.
So for some folks anonymity is not a matter of guilt or shame, but actually becomes a necessity to protect against a threat to their families livelihood. For me, I'm not paranoid or anything but I see absolutely no reason to expose myself unnecessarily. If someone I've met and actually KNOW approaches me away from the swinging scene, I'm totally fine with it, but an anonymous letter from someone I've never even met would bother me.
Lifestyle friendly RV camping areas within a couple hundred mil - - I am putting a trip together fun swingers/ nudist on April 28-30 at baker Hotsprings
It is around Delta UT
Lots of places for RV's and tents
Have been doing it for about8 years
Everyone is welcome
Come early stay late
Creating an Amazing Swingers Profile - How to market yourself better - LOL someone really did it! haha lol that was funny
MR
Time for another poll: Unicorns - - [quote=DELICIOUSLYWET]Well, perhaps, if a woman really wanted to get into a full-time ongoing relationship with two men she might want to consider targeting bisexual men. We think the reason a lot of couples, within the swinging lifestyle seem to want to find a unicorn is because so many swinging wives are bisexual and therefore both the male and the female within the relationship sexually desire women. The three can all share every point of intimacy from flirting to foreplay into sex and multiple orgasms and even the afterglow. When everyone in a sexual encounter, wants and wants to be wanted by everyone else involved then hooray, hooray! Same would be true with a threesome involving a woman and two bisexual men. If both the men were bisexual then all three of the lovers in a DVP as an example, would be equally excited about all the points of intimacy down below and the list would go on and on. [b]Yes the triad would be shunned by the more homophobic swingers[/b] and a lot of couples with a straight male or female only interested in straight men and yes the triad would have to remember that not all people are bisexual when playing with couples with heterosexual men or women. Never-the-less, the threesome could find a lot of joy together. [/quote]
Bigots not wanting to hang w/ me would be the best self-selection EVAR.
Are swingers moral? - Who determines what morals are? - From certain perspectives yes that's what I'm saying. Religion twists things but from the view of an Islamic extremest what those terrorists did on that plane was the pinnacle of a moral example. From our point of view it was horrid and sick. We are in the out group to these terrorists and religion has warped their view so that they think they need to defend the ideals of their in group. Understanding that they believe they are doing good things doesn't excuse them from the bad things they do. Like how the Pope isn't innocent for using his influence to stop people from using condoms in countries riddled with AIDS and parent less children. He believes he is doing right but is inexcusable.
Question for those in the lifestyle - What is the answer! - Why would you envolve me in your problem. I am not a part of it. But, if I have sex with you and you get caught, I am part of a bigger problem that has just been created. NO THANK YOU! You don"t belong in the lifestyle under these circumstances. (By the way this is the M half, but we both feel the same about this)
My wife and I were Soft Swingers for about 8yrs before she decided to go the full swap route. She is happy with her decision to do so, and enjoys the fun WE are having now. I would have liked to have got to this point a lot sooner and had often encouraged her to go for it. She told me several times, it would be alright for me to have sex with someone else if I really wanted too. There was no way I would take that chance of messing up the good thing we had. Neither of us had ever cheated on each other. This doesn't make us goody-two-shoes. It did build a trust which makes it posible for us to share the benefits of this lifestyle with confidense in each other, now.
We feel Trust and Honesty are two things that have to exist if you are going to enjoy the swinging as a couple. Sorry to hear about your situation, but we could not solve your problem if we were to play with you, only possibly make it worse. Thats just the way it is for us.
I feel some of the suggestions offered in the previous post may be your best route to go.
MARDI GRAS - is it to soon? - the sign left out swingers........
Why the male side of Couples are here...? - I will admit I am hoping to spark some heated debate on this.... - [quote=DELICIOUSLYWET] Frankly if you wrap your self image and your relationship etc., etc., around it and make it a big priority you very well might end up wondering what happened to your life. [/quote]
Not that it means much of anything, but this is why I always took exception (with few very dedicated and very successful and very happy exceptions) to people calling this a "lifestyle". Most of the swingers I've met would honestly lose their shit if they made this a big priority. Most of the ones I knew that did so, did lose their shit. And much more.
Facebook group - - I am an admin in a long-standing FB Swingers group for SouthEast Idaho and we're getting ready to close it down. It used to be there were privacy concerns where people who joined would risk exposing other members by sending friend requests to everybody but we were able to handle most of that by staying on top of things. Now, the FB rules and algorithm bots are going crazy. Posts from 2+ years ago are being randomly found and flagged. Posts from the admins are being flagged as well and we've been warned that if too many of these happen FB will shut the group down altogether. But this means two things; 1. the posts that make the page fun and free are all at risk of being auto flagged even though the group is private and 2. Even if a post is not flagged it's not truly private since the FB bots and possibly admins are scanning through everything that happens in every group. Really, the FB rule changes from 2 years ago make the group against their policy even by existing. The new rules read that a group cannot exist for the purpose of seeking or supporting the planning of any sexual activity.
Because of all this, our group has been migrating to MeWe and all official posts/events/polls are now hosted there. We'll also be deleting FB content that is likely to be flagged and closing down the group.
Ugly people and swinging - - Considering that what attracts one person to another varies wildly from person to person, its amazing that you can make a blanket statement about "ugliness" and "attraction" which you clearly ASSume pertains to all swingers.
Also just turning down a couple cuz you personally don't find both individuals in a couple attractive, without discussing with your partner whether or not they might be interested is just rude unless you are both bi and you know that well what they like.
My .02
-SG
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