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Why the male side of Couples are here...? - I will admit I am hoping to spark some heated debate on this.... - [quote=DELICIOUSLYWET] Frankly if you wrap your self image and your relationship etc., etc., around it and make it a big priority you very well might end up wondering what happened to your life. [/quote]
Not that it means much of anything, but this is why I always took exception (with few very dedicated and very successful and very happy exceptions) to people calling this a "lifestyle". Most of the swingers I've met would honestly lose their shit if they made this a big priority. Most of the ones I knew that did so, did lose their shit. And much more.
Is this one of your rules? What is it? is it fear? or something - Does everyone feel this way? - For the record, we're fuck first, friends later types. We didn't become swingers to make new friends. We could have joined the Rotary Club for that. LOL Frankly, we like our non-swinging life. We became swingers to add a few special "others" to our already great sex life. It was about fulfilling some group fantasies and the wife's bi-curiousness that did it for us.
It's a LOT more serious for us to decide to be friends with someone than it is for us to decide whether or not to fuck them. It takes a LOT longer than deciding "do 'em/don't do 'em" does.
With that said, we HAVE made a few great friends from swinging that we wouldn't have met otherwise and wouldn't trade for the world. And that fact that we are good friends AND swingers makes these relationships really cool.
But we have found that most folks don't actually "get real" until after the first sex anyway. Before that, everyone is guarded and on their best behavior. We're too old and wise to choose our friends based on first impressions.
Question - do you talk about other swingers? - We generally don't talk about others using names, but in the crowd we've been with lately, we are all aware of the history and experiences of each other. We know many of the same people and have many mutual experiences.
We do avoid gossiping and/or 'name dropping' with people that we don't know as well.
What is up with Utah?! - Swingers in Utah and nowhere else? - SWINGERS??? In UTAH??? REALLY???
would someone kindly introduce us to a few so we can try swinging?
We have met alot of really sexy people here... but swingers?
NO WAY...
Isnt it against the law?
Kw0112 - Any Nashville swingers out there ? - New to this
Coming ro Nashville on the 24th. We are a couple looking for a couple or female for weekend fun
Swingers unnerve families at hotel - - HeHeHe! TAMMYNWALT....too funny about the Swingers Pride Day idea. We\'ll help carry the flag! Sounds almost like our post on another site. Nobody cares anymore about WDW Gay Days but some questionable naughty (not law breaking or nekid) Swingers at a party and the whole world goes apesh*t.
For heaven sakes keep those vanillas off of the beach they might see a thong or boobs! LOL! Geez! If they had broken any laws there would have been all kind of media chatter about the arrests.....hummmmm..... To each their own. We weren\'t at any NYE parties due to working taking care of idiots shooting each other and drunks. The shame of it all ( ;
Happy New Year!
:D
Here's something Ive been curious about - - In a nut shell, perhaps, we should conclude that, Cheaters and the truly happily monogamous are the only ones that are not swingers to some degree if you define swinger as someone that prefers a sexual existence that is not 100% monogamous and lives that way honestly. Then we can suggest that swinging has a place for most people. Preference is not the end all in what actually happens. Natural selection means that some will be more successful at mating regardless of their preference. Some singles and some couples have no problem getting laid. They will be able to successfully have sex on their own terms. Singles and couples with a predisposition for pair bonding or tournament mating will find their way into the swing scene and either be couples or singles not out of preference but out of the circumstances surrounding their lives. Sex is so important and so strong an instinctual drive people will take it as they can get it and have sex in circumstances that do not exactly match their instinctual preference if their instinctual preference is not readily available.
In nature pretty much all mammals, birds and many other species fall into two mating categories pair bonding or tournament species. Interestingly enough, many scientist who study humans from the point of view of our biology and our social interactions currently feel we fall somewhere in between with a lean toward pair bonding for many. Women may tend to be pair bonders in higher numbers than men. Humans, generally, be they pair bonders or tournament mating sorts are not 100% monogamous by nature. A significant percentage of humans given the possibility of some level of non-monogamy will still choose monogamy but most would enjoy the some non-monogamous activity even if it will never actually happen due to social conditioning.
Pair bonding species are usually not 100% monogamous but do for lack of a better term desire and if they are successful have a significant other which shares the burdens and I would say the joys of raising a family together. The desire and the instinctive drive to have a partner is stronger than the desire to avoid the burdens and work associated with maintaining a
I’m defense of single males - Funny old geezers - We are in our sixth year on this site. We are also currently on three more sites, even after dropping two more. When we joined Swingular, we were taken aback from the negativity toward single guys. We did not see this this level of animosity on any other of the sites we are or were on.
Aside from the folks from Idaho and Wyoming (and very, very few nationwide), this site is predominately Utah based. I am not negatively judging Utah since a survey or research was never done, but we had to wonder if this hatred is a Utah thing. Or was it a few couples who made it seem normal to criticize, demean, humiliate; and then everyone just jumped on the bandwagon? Human history has taught us that ostracizing is easier than accepting. Who knows? We certainly don't understand it.
Many couples correctly point out that single guys are not [b]"swingers"[/b] since they don't swap. But, we believe that single guys are part of the [b]"lifestyle"[/b] for many couples. Why is fmf ok, but mfm is not ok?
As a side note: The vast majority of our play is with couples(our preference). But we occasionally like mfm for the different dynamics it offers. We have been very lucky with mfm and haven't had a bad experience yet, which I cannot say is always true with every couple we've met.
Are swingers moral? - Who determines what morals are? - What are morals? Do morals really exist? Can swiners really claim that they are moral individualls. Are you more moral if you believe in God or less if you do not. I wonder what you think and how moral we really are.
Affair Match - - Very well said Lusty... and many others of you... Its not a matter of judgementalism for I too fall on the perhaps wierdly mystical side that "everything is perfect, there is ultimately no "making right or wrong". However, thats not to say that we dont all have 'preferences'. It just seems wierd to attract cheating spouse lurkers to a dedicated swingers site. Did we ever find out if Swingular has a similar ad on the Married Affair site attracting affair seekers to what they might believe is an "easy hunting ground" for tail?
PS... it is sooo good to hear so many speaking about how important it is to hold a field of Non-judgement and full acceptance. For the record, my opposition to this banner ad reflects my present desire to align myself with with open, honest swingers. In my past I have both been a cheater and played with cheaters. Its nice to have evolved into a fully honest, open marriage and found you all in a community of so many who embrace just how strong, good and honorable this type of relationship can be. Thanks to you all and hope to meet many more.
Member since Jan 1st!
Dave
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