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Playing Alone - - Couples all have different rules. Many categorically refuse to play alone with ANYONE ever. This is their "security" place. They feel comfortable in the place where they can see each other and "protect" if necessary. It takes some people a long time to get passed this.
It's kind of a 'control' thing leftover from the vanilla life. I'm not saying it's bad, good or indifferent it's just the way it is. Some people take longer to get passed their histories as vanillas than others. As they progress and get more comfortable with themselves, the lifestyle, their partners then they will slowly open up and begin to trust a bit more.
Don't take it personally, that's the key. Many people still hang on to their vanilla background that their partners are their most 'valued' possession. I liken it to my $450 deep sea fishing reel. Sure I'll loan it to someone to use if I'm on the boat with them and can make sure they're taking care of it. Is there anyone I'd just let 'borrow' it out right for the day or weekend? Not a chance in hell.
It takes time to let go of that 'she's/he's mine' get feeling. I think my wife and I took almost 6 years before we got there successfully. We tried many times before that but it never worked out well for either of us. We finally came to a point where it's okay to play separately everything from next room to next state it no longer bothers us. I personally prefer within 30 - 50 miles so she get's home faster for the "after play" sex you're describing (which I really like too.)
You'll have to find a VERY secure, VERY established, VERY strong couple to fulfill your fantasy. They are out there, my wife and I for example but even though we're open to playing separately are we open to YOU playing with her or me separately? That's a different level of trust. Does it mean no? No. It means "maybe" in time it's a possibility. (I'm speaking hypothetically of course.)
Don't worry your "couple" or "person" will come along. You might also try investigating a subsection of the lifestyle called "hotwifeing" while I know few swingers who are hardcore into only hotwifing, there are quite a few that tip toe in that part of the lifestyle (quick def, she plays he doesn't except with her.) That's the post play joy for you and the play and post play joy for her. Most people just bounce between that and swinging. There are people out there just be patient and don't expect it from any current playmates that you have established rules with, they need to progress at their own speed.
Swingers Party in St. Augustine on April 21st - Happy Hour get together and post-party Orgy - We are planning a little get together for Jacksonville and Daytona Swingers to meet with each other on Friday April 21st in the S. Jacksonville/St. Augustine Area. Please RSVP to this post a reply to the party announcement on the Jacksonville Seductions Group page, or send me an email, if you would like to attend.
The party will be by invitation only. I will send you an email on Swingular on the 19th with more details. If you would like to bring a guest (or guests), just let me know via email, or by posting.
There will be an orgy room available for fun after the party.
I know that we will have a great time together meeting other couples in our area. I look forward to meeting you all for some drinks, conversation and some great sex.
The Hunt Club of Brevard is in the news - And I thought Utah was a news hog - Suspected sex club faces investigation
Police chief says Hunt Club should be closed
City officials are investigating an alleged swingers club that entices customers to "explore the sensual and sexual side of the lifestyle" in a sleepy neighborhood off Turtle Mound Road.
The Hunt Club of Brevard -- a 2,534-square-foot house in the Oak Grove Acres subdivision -- on its Web site touts group and private rooms, a stage and dancing pole, swimming pool, buffet-style dining and "The Pink Cauldron" (a five-person hot tub).
Prompted by complaints from neighbors, two undercover Melbourne police officers -- one male, one female -- posed as a couple, and toured the house in late-March, Police Chief Don Carey said. Inside, the officers noticed a stripper pole and swinging sex chair, and they learned one of the bedrooms was converted into an "observation room," he said.
No lawbreaking activities were noted, Carey said -- "they were consenting adults doing stuff in private that wasn't criminal" -- and the police investigation was closed with no charges filed.
Regardless, Carey believes The Hunt Club is an illegal establishment that should shut down.
"It's my opinion that the people there are operating a business out of their home. They're violating the zoning in that area, because they're not allowed to have customers in their home," Carey said. "It is a business. If they feel differently, they can challenge us in the courts."
Kirsi Page, one of the operators of The Hunt Club, said there is nothing illegal or improper about the establishment.
The 1.3-acre property is zoned for residential use, said Cindy Dittmer, Melbourne's planning and economic development director. City Attorney Paul Gougelman said officials still are researching "various angles" that could reveal municipal code infractions.
Friday night, nearly two dozen neighbors protested outside the house, said Larry Groves, who lives across the street. One large sign displayed the message "The Hunt Club Not Wanted Here."
Despite their efforts, Groves said more than 20 vehicles pulled into the driveway and parked in the backyard.
"Some of the cars left, and came back with their tags taken off. Some of them didn't care," he said.
Groves said he is worried about crime and sexual predators.
"This is a dead-end cul-de-sac. We don't have any bylaws in the development here that prevents anything like that. It can happen in any neighborhood in Melbourne," he said. "Whether they broke the law or not, the intent is not good for a quiet community. We're trying to protect our investments and our lifestyle and our morality level."
The eight houses on Beth Lane -- including the alleged sex club -- range in market value from $286,000 to $481,000, Brevard County Property Appraiser's Office records show.
The house's rental tenants are Richard Spalding and Kirsi Page.
In an e-mail interview on Monday, Page said The Hunt Club was founded in mid-January, and the organizers do not allow illegal activity, drugs or prostitution.
"Our opinion of our neighbors is that they are bigots. Our sexual practices and preferences are different from what they think is OK, so they are trying to make our lives miserable," Page wrote. "We know that we're OK, and that they are close-minded and full of hate."
Admission at The Hunt Club is advertised as free, although donations are accepted. "Secure parking" is provided by a fenced yard behind the house, and online membership registration is available.
The group seeks investors to ante up $60,000 by mid-June to build a 4,000-square-foot complex with eight bedrooms.
"What you see when you come to a party is a group of adults mingling, flirting, laughing and sometimes dancing. The parties are very quiet, to the point that you cannot hear any noise out on the street in front of our house," Page stated.
"I think that our neighbors' imagination is much more depraved than anything we are actually doing. And I think they've forgotten something important . . . having sex is not illegal," she wrote.
Already this month, this private residence has hosted various sexually themed Friday events -- including a pajama party and a secretary-teacher-schoolgirl soiree, an online schedule indicates. This week, the house plans to host a "Naughty Girls, Ice Cream and High Heels Social."
Page said in a subsequent interview that the club is not a business. Rather, some attendees make voluntary donations to help cover costs for food, towels and sheets, she said.
The tenants rent the home from Pennsylvania resident Penny D. Hanson. In an e-mail interview Monday, she wrote she might hire an attorney to deal with club-related problems.
"I had no idea that my tenants were involved in this until my neighbors brought it to my attention," Hanson wrote. "I will not be renewing their lease in October because of 1) all of the problems they are causing within the neighborhood and 2) the extreme wear and tear these parties are causing on my home and yard."
Melbourne's 39-acre adult-entertainment district lies miles to the south, along North Drive. The city's sole licensed sexually oriented business is Hot Flixx, a Sarno Road adult bookstore.
Sindarellaz, a nude dance cabaret in the Sarno Industrial Park that featured women taking showers onstage, shut down in May 2006 after a police crackdown.
swingin - thought this site was a swingers site - I guess all u morons do not get it
get a fuckign clue if u do not like me or my thread or my answer so fucking what i can care lessu can say all u want and call me name and sayi look like your mom( even though i think some of u have fucked some of your moms ) or whatever none of u have gotten to fucking clue this is a SWINGERS site and u calling people names like most of u have done to me which i can careless because i am guilty due to your stupity in the forum, tammi and don i can care less what language u speak or what ever, call me what u like go for it
what ever make all your egos bigger and think u r the MAN, who fucking cares
i do not even care if u think i make sense if u do not why and the fuck do u keep wasting your time with the forum all i have to say is shut up and go play with your self
any one else the wants to continue to be computer rambos with me have fun
have a good day:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
Posting Utah Events - A bit of help? - Educate me...
How do I go about getting a couples-only event approved and posted to the site? I am interested in inviting Utah Swingers to a Moulin Masquerade Meet-and-Greet Burlesque Show to be held on February 14th in Salt Lake City.
Any help spreading the word would be appreciated!
Jennifer
Northern Utah Party ... Damn It! - We WILL hunt you down ... - SWINGERS??? Oh shit!!! I thought we were just trying an "alternative lifestyle". Hmmmm last time I jumped from a SWING...it hurt like hell!!! But the last time I just slid nice & easy into open arms...it was a good landing!
Looking to establish a group of safe swingers - - Sounds like a great idea. Please count us in!
Alternative Websites - What other sites! - The most fun we had was a daybreak swingers Facebook group. Even that had its issues but, We're still bitter that it disappeared
How close is too close - - I think that the question poses a number of possibilities... If only one person is starting to feel something beyond sexual attraction then that person should step back and examine why they are feeling this way. If it is only one way then the person who is having the feelings needs to take stock of the reality of the situation and realize the potential problems involved. If the situation is mutual and noone else realizes it then the two involved need to discuss it... and they both have to weigh the situation. Why is this happening and are the possible ramifications worth the risks involved... If it is possible talk about it with everyone concerned and make a determination as to what needs to be done. I've actually heard about a situation where a couple split over a swinging situation and the lady from the one couple went with the guy from the other couple and the gal from the other couple went with the husband of the woman that went with her husband.. A real twist on the concept of swapping....
Being poly may put a totally different slant on how I look at this problem... since I am involved with a married woman. My wife and her husband are not poly... The other couple are not swingers and we are very good friend as couples... and everyone knows about she and I. It's very difficult to explain to anyone how this works but it does and it can..... So I have a unique perspective on love and swinging... or just married people and love between non married people in married situations.
I would generally say, however, that swingers should not get into love situations unless you and your mate and the other couple can handle this situation.. If a love relationship starts to happen run don't walk to the nearest exit and don't turn around.
Just possibilities .. There are quite a few poly people involved iin swinging...including some of the older people entering into swinging... They are looking to expand their sexual and love relationships as well. THere are also younger people in the lifestyle who are poly.. The subject has come up a surprising number of times of various swinger sites...
So if you're not poly and start to feel love for someone other than you mate... Assess you first as to why... but regardless, if you love your mate....get away fromo that particular situation...
Ray
Creating an Amazing Swingers Profile - How to market yourself better - I think my advice above boils down to:
1) Be honest.. Don't try to mislead people about who or what you are.
2) Make an effort to give others a chance to get to know you and trust you.
3) Don't be gross.
And this stuff is nothing more than my opinion.. While I would love a world where everyone is required to agree with me, that probably won't happen for at least 5 more years, if things continue to go well. ;)
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