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Swingers dying out? - Is the utah swinger community dying or becoming to needy? - We are new to Utah so we are really hoping it's not dying out or that people are only looking for Barbie and Ken....I'd rather not move again ;)
Mrs crazyfun
Xoxox
Swingers unnerve families at hotel - - i new you would like that one lol
kristylynn
Single Male Market - Need feedback on a feature idea. - Brilliant! Thousands of other guys!!! That is very well said! I actually did some soul searching a couple of months ago and I noticed the difference.. I am pretty sure someone is saying I may be lucky because we have some “Affirmative Action Swingers” LOL
weight approperate - - We have been in the lifestyle together for 10 years now and couples not being up front about just wanting to play with the wife alone has always been a problem with us. We let people know upfront we only play together.
Now on the weight subject...We advertise ourselves unashamedly about being a BBW/BHM couple. We also let people know if its Ken and Barbie they want they need to move on down to the next profile. We have played with HWP couples as well as with Big Beautiful Couples like ourselves. The HWP couples we have played with in the past have been amazed at our level of inhibition and sensuality. In short it was an eye opener for them...Big people can be very sexual.
One thing we have noticed is that lifestyle web sites, magazines and clubs seem to perpetuate the Barbie and Ken mystique. How often on a swinger web site have you seen a BBW, BHM of even a BBC on their front page? The same goes for magazines and advertising for clubs and lifestyle conventions and events. Even here on Swingular we have yet to see even a featured member that is a person or couple of size. In our humble opionion it's something swingers media needs to address.
Our whole take on the topic is this...If your mind is so closed that you can not see beyond exteriors then its your loss.
We started a Yahoo group called Big Beautiful Couples and Ladies a couple years ago with the idea that if membership grew large enough maybe organizing an event similar to Lifestyles or Hedonism II. Though the membership is small we still have the passion for the idea of a convention with Big Beautiful People as the primary attendees. We are still checking to see if there is a similar group here on Swingular and if not we'll be getting it rocking and rolling.
If we want people in the lifestyle to be more accepting of size (both women & men) we have to learn to be our own best advocates.
Have an erotic day
Howie & Susie
geting in LOVE while swinging - - Someone mentioned Polyamory. Poly people, at least in most communities, feel that swinging and poly are not compatible.. Fact is, why not? If you are open and honest about your poly leanings and totally honest with your mate and any relationships you may have... then why not poly as well. I know that several people in here and on other sites, swingers feel threatened if you are overtly open abut your feelings. If one truely loves and trusts their partner/SO/wives; husbands/girlfriends; bopyfriends and whatever other relationships that I may have missed, they should not be threatened. If you fall in love with someone that you have sex with.... you have 2 choices..... Tell that person and their spouse and your spouce and see where it goes or simply walk away with the thoughts and get on with your life. The 3rd option is not an option.... If one is poly...thier primary relationship/s take precedence.
It is my belief that poly and swinging are not only compatable but that if love happens when one least expects it it has to be handled. Even the vanilla schmuck sees or talks to others and sometimes form closer relationships but don't wish that to affect their perfect marriage. How is that handled? Sometimes it simply cools down or sometimes it ends in a short or long term relationship with or without sex. So as they used to say on the TV sitcom Carter Country....."Han.dl it Han..dl it" Remember the old sage who said "shit happens"
Swingers cars??? - What ya driving?? - 95 Jeep Wrangler, 08 Chevy Uplander
Swingers In Uniform - Pay your memorial day respects here. - Hey Juan -
I've got 20 + years in.
How many do you have?
Hey Juan, still there?
Juan?
Juan?
Anyone heard from Juan latly?
Not that anyone cares...
NUFUNCPL - OUT
Single Males - - [quote=EVILDOERS]
...get a girl to join you....Not only do you now "bring more to the table", but you have the added credibility that if you can find and finesse a girl into joining you in this little adventure we call swinging (whether it be a girlfriend, a wife, a second cousin twice removed, or just a hot fwb) you might just not be a giant douchecopter.[/quote]
Ignoring the need to "finesse" someone and unhealthy gender stereotypes in general, this line of reasoning is a little troubling as it presumes that a male's company is inherently worth less. Or that an absence of semi-romantic relationships somehow speaks poorly of his character. I personally think approaching someone whom you aren't already fairly close with and soliciting to go to a swingers party is a bit out of line. Especially if her company is sought as an accessory to demonstrate to others that he is not, as you say, “a douchecopterâ€. Call me old-fashioned.
[quote=EVILDOERS]
I know we can't be the only people who secretly wonder just a little bit about some single guys and why they aren't with somebody. Do they secretly hate women (yes, we've met some that actually do), are they just too lazy (or busy, maybe...but hey, we're all busy) to find someone, are they serial killers and/or just not very nice guys? [/quote]
Oh, I hope you are! That's a really unfortunate outlook to have. Promising relationships take time to find, let alone build to the requisite amount of trust and stability to try things like this. In the mean time, I don't see anything wrong with someone pursuing their interests while still holding out for someone worthy of their emotional investment. To me, that behavior is quite attractive should be respected! It doesn't get any better than someone who is confident, self-actualized, and motivated to pursue their desires. Sadly, it sounds their gender influences whether this is seen as a desirable trait.
I'm not sure how long you've been out of things (30 years?), but it's easy to forget the struggle when you're comfortable in a marriage. Things are more fluid. People don't feel the need to settle down like they used to.
[quote=EVILDOERS]I know many will say they've tried and swinging is a deal breaker for most women. After almost 3 decades in the swinging trenches meeting and talking to other people, both couples and singles, we would disagree....many, if not most, women could eventually come around to the idea of swinging once they feel safe and secure in a relationship.[/quote]
This is just confirmation bias if the evidence comes from a sample of people you have met while swinging.
[quote=EVILDOERS]...those of us who DID put in all the blood, sweat, and tears into a relationship and allow it to grow to the point of daring (don't think for a second we aren't risking a LOT in opening up our relationships to other people!) to allow others access to our significant other sometimes wonder why some others want to take a shortcut to all the sweet swinging bennies with little or no risk on their own part.[/quote]
If you're not comfortable sharing your wife with someone you might view as a potential competition, you definitely don't have to. On the other hand, there are a lot of people enjoy it :) This smacks of the old “you must suffer as I did†chestnut.
Other Swinger sites in Utah - Anyone tell us of other sites? - if someone were to make a new swingers site for Utah, what functionalities would you want in it ?
Do your friends and family know about your lifestyle? - - Our 23 year old daughter figured it out, when our son kept telling her we were going to some convention here in town....she looked to see what conventions were in Vegas that week and put two and two together. We also have friends who arent swingers that know.
We dont mind telling people but we're selective about who we mention it openly to, just because some people just dont get it.
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