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Weeding through the real/ fakes - I wish there was a "validation " on profiles.. - PolyCouple, I think you're pointing to a cultural gap that we've also been frustrated with for years. We fall more into the independently open category, which puts us closer to the poly-lite and kink communities than the swinger community. We've found that a lot of swingers have the men negotiate the process and that's a huge turn off for us so we end up considering it a red flag in terms of what we're looking for. No judgement, it just clearly wouldn't work with our dynamic. We're free to talk to and do whatever we want with whomever we want. And we do. It's just different. But, in general, only hearing from the man does also make it hard to figure out if you're talking to a real couple or if there's true enthusiastic consent involved on all sides. Especially with so much catfishing going on over on other apps. Maybe the site could have badges or tags that filter searches.
Observations from the other side of the room - How to enjoy the lifestyle as a single male - I am not the expert, but I believe that the amount of time that I have been in the lifestyle and the friends I have made gives me some sense of how to have the best time
I have debated whether to write this but I think that those single men who read will benefit. SWINGULAR is an adult dating site, advertised as a swingers hub. Most men who join are well idiots at first. I have received countless questions from other guys about my "luck". Luck has nothing to do with it. The Swingers lifestyle or non monagamous lifestyle isn't new, but many members are. Here are some basic things that will enable you to enjoy the experience.
Single men are not unique. It doesn't matter how hot you think you are or how big your cock is, if you are an ass, just stay at the bar. Single women and couples are who we, assuming heterosexual and even bisexual men, are interested in meeting. Remember guys, asking if the person is down to fuck isn't going to work. I am not the expert, but I have been in the lifestyle for six years and met a number of couples and single women.
My advice is to make friends. Even plutonic friends who invite you to parties and outings will ensure that you meet people who you have chemistry with.
Find a 'sponsor ' so to speak. Word of mouth is more valuable than a testimonial on your profile.
Don't try hiding what you say to the wife from the husband. My rule of thumb is that when I am taking to the wife, I assume everything will be seen by both. Basically if you don't want the husband to see something, don't write it.
This is a short list of things and by no means authoritative, but it has helped me to enjoy the experience.
Know any Mormon swingers in SoCal? - Single girl in SoCal wants to know! - Everyone in the lifestyle has their own personal preferences and kinks. Part of the lifestyle is not letting social norms hold us back from experiencing those preferences/kinks. This is just her preference. We don't want others to "hate" on us our preferences, so let's not "hate" on her. :)
Secret facebook group for SLC? - - We recently joined a secret FB group for swingers with lots of super nice and sexy people. However it appears that most members, at least the active ones, are in Ogden which is bit far for us. Are there any secret FB groups for swingers for SLC?
On Premise Swingers Club - SLC - yeah I think west wendover would be a good idea, as Utah laws I'm sure wouldnt allow it (if it was an official business).
LDS Swingers Survey - Will any former/active LDS swingers take my survey? - Done
Rolling??? - Thoughts Comments - I'm not taking anything wrong, I just noticed this sort of strange attitude about things when i was looking at an interracial thread. People were trying to convince others that interracial relationships and swinging were morally wrong and a major health risk, and it kinda made me think. I think it's great that everyone has talked about this. A lot of people, swingers included use drugs and I think it needs to be brought up, good or bad.
And I want to say also, that I really apppreciate everyone taking the time out to post about it. And I thank you.
Now that you're one of them there fancy swingers... - - See, that's what I'm talking about. KITTY wants chocolate raspberry truffle cheesecake when most guys are day old glazed donuts at best. Obviously she's been ruined by a steady diet of hot sexy swinger guys who know tricks that would make Jenna Jameson blush. By the time she's been in the lifestyle a couple of decades the only thing that will be able to get her off is a Hitachi with a jackhammer motor inside of it.
Can I say hello? - What to do in public - Really for us it depends on the people that recognize us and whether or not they have some common sense and are sensitive enough to be careful when necessary. If they are the type of people that can say hello in a public place and be friendly without flaunting their swingers insignia and secret handshake and singing the swingers theme song and such then we have no problem being approached in public. The local churches all have the ultra vocal keepers of the faith that have to define everyone and everything under the Johnny one note shallow interpretation of their religion because it is too terrifying and painful to be a whole complex person and therefore they live for the pats on the back that come from the endless recitations of their creed. There are people that become far too single minded in all sorts of pursuits including swinging that can become just as annoying and dangerous.
Where we are when you see us makes a difference too in what we consider appropriate. If we are in the grocery store or out to dinner with friends or family then saying hello is fine but we ask that anyone that approaches us please leave the swingers content completely out of what you say to us. Do not hit on us. Our friends and family know the two of us are busy and social and we both have friends as individuals and as a couple that we have met in a variety of ways so people say hello to us, which they do not know all the time anyway. Some people that we know are clients and so if we do not offer an explanation about how we know you, our family and friends assume it is probably from work. If we are at a bar and obviously looking playful and sexual in are demeanor and dress and you want to approach us fine, but even then be a bit discreet in your initial approach. If we are talking with someone or obviously with someone then be a bit discreet because we party with vanillas too. If they are people that we trust we probably won't care if they get a hint of what you and we might share in common. Many of our friends and even our family members know we are not always 100% monogamous and they also know we are multifaceted and involved in many things so non monogamy for us is only part of who we are and what we do and not a defining consuming aspect of our lives.
We tend to shy away from saying hello to people in public places that recognize as being in the lifestyle unless we already know them because we do not want to make anyone uncomfortable.
seniors - why is it so difficult to find senior swingers or single ladies? - wow,what fire i started. what letter set off the comments? i was serious about the topic. one person was right when they said what goes around will come around and usually kick your cute little butt. thanks
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