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Poly-Swingers - Moving beyond FWB relationship - SUMINDYFUN: To attempt to better answer your question, this is what we've experienced/learned in our poly-type relationships...
This is so much more of a complex subject than just a quick "blurb", we like to compare it to guessing a 4 combination lock, you know at least 1 or 2 of the correct numbers... but do you really??? You find out an amazing amount about YOURSELF through this process!
We have seen just about everything emerge, from complete unbelievable bliss to complete unbelievable hurt. However, what we've learned is TOTAL honesty, trust, respect, patience and absolute untethered communication are key! These things can either make or break it and breaking it earlier rather than later is a good thing, because if it breaks later then it usually means one or more people missed one or more of the fore-mentioned items and will cause much greater hurt because of all the time/work that was put in by the others.
BTW, apparently the bliss is much more powerful than the hurt because we keep trying and trying for some reason? Yep, its like a drug and we're addicted! This is why we dont fault any one for not wanting to "step through that door" so to speak. We suggest to any one that they open that door very, very slowly and even walk away for a bit before entering fully.
ABCMAN: You hit the nail directly on the head... from our experiences, social conditioning is extremely difficult for most people to overcome.
LDS Swingers Survey - Will any former/active LDS swingers take my survey? - Done...guilty!!!!
Don't You Hate When..... - List the things that annoy you. - Besides me, list some of the things that really annoy you. Let me start this one by saying... I really think it's childish when someone writes you an email in private, saying all the things that they want to get off their guilty little chest and then they put a block on me, so that I cannot reply. What are these people like 12 years old?
Apparently, following the "Why so much hate in the swingers world" thread, the racial comments that followed and my thoughts on the situation, another floridian couple (I won't mention names), thought I was directing my comments toward them. So, they decided to write me and tell me how wrong I was about them and that I must be hiding my picture because it may apply to me and all this nonsensical crap, only to block me from telling them, they had nothing to do with my remarks.
I would just like to ask these idiots that, if what I said didn't apply to them, why did they get so defensive??? It appears as though the truth may have hurt these two tolerant and progressive people. Why write me, trying to justify to me how you're not racist and that black guys in the Florida area are arrogant and "put themselves up on a pedestal? Here is what they wrote me:
Originally wrote in thread:
"perhaps TEQUILAROSE was confused by my statement, I stated that alot of people have fetish's but I do not know alot of white couples that are interested in black men..."
Email One:
"do not dare accuse me of racism, i have heard of your attacks in forums from other people on this site, it is extremely taboo to say you are not interested in black, and black men seem to love to place themselves on a pedestal, i live in tampa, i know ALOT of black people and honestly i have alot of exposure to them but i have no interest and i voiced what i have noticed in the swing world and i made it clear it was my opinion but do not attempt to play the racist card with me, keep in mind its not nearly as taboo to say your not interested in chinese, mexican, cuban, italian, however its not taboo for a black person to say he or she is not into interracial, its a double standard and its wrong."
Email Two:
"by the way, i do not see your husbands photo, it seems like racism is a sensitive subject for you, since you seem to wear it on your sleeve, is there a reason for the hostility thats closer to home?"
WTF?
Just to kill any presumptuous suspicions that some of you may have, I will say that this couple is from the Riverview, FL area and not Palm Coast, FL area. This mean Kristylynn did not write this. That's the best way to put it without violating someone's privacy. So don't draw any conclusions.
Anyway, I am interested in hearing some of the things that piss you guys off in the lifestyle. So write it down. All I ask is that you not mention any names, 'cept mine. I could give a fuck. I think they best way to understand people is to find out what makes them tick and what ticks them off. No pun intended.
-D-
Explain why you like being a swinger - - Can't really answer as to the exact question posed, as I am a single guy and, therefore, I suppose I can't really be categorized as a swinger, per se. But as to why I like being part of this site with it's potential for associating with swingers: It's because I have never really fit the standard model of sexuality (if there really is one) and the opportunity to associate with people who have broken out of the "mold" and experience something new and bring something new to the scene is very interesting and exciting to me. Hopefully I will get to do a little more than theorize about it.
Why Be In Utah? - - [quote=EVILDOERS]Actually I've always wondered the same thing about Florida. Substitute the crazy Mormons for the Bibile thumpers from Orlando north into the panhandle, add in the hurricanes, torrential rains, gaters, snakes and mosquitos...besides, I've heard the snow skiing is HORRIBLE there. But I'll bite.
1) No porn. You can buy dirty magazines but (unless you know where to go) hard core x-rate movies are technically illegal to sell. A non-issue in the internet age. If you're still buying dvd's at the local porn emporium you need to maybe update your computer or your media server or something.
2) No real beer. Again a myth. You can only buy 4% (by volume) beer in grocery stores but you can get full strength beer at state liquor stores, restaurants and places like brewery stores. Try getting ANYTHING to drink in some dry towns/counties in the Bible Belt.
3) True to some extent, although Salt Lake City itself is VERY eclectic and quite liberal politically. But at least our LDS lawmakers know basic female anatomy and have somewhat of a grasp of proven basic science. No kooky evangelicals freaking out every time someone mentions birth control or evolution.
4) Most people are afraid of Mormons? Really? I've heard they have horns and the missionaries CAN be a little annoying when you're fucking and they're ringing the doorbell but I don't think people are truly afraid. Besides, contrary to popular belief the swing scene here is alive, active and vibrant. I'd wager that per capita we have more, and more active, swingers than just about any place you can name. All that repressed Mormon sexuality eventually bubbles to the surface and until you've fucked a formerly repressed little Mormon girl who's discovering her sexuality you, my friend, haven't fucked! :-)
[/quote]
Exactly what I was going to say but I would add in that it's more of an out door culture here. So many outdoor adventure activities to do here.
5-6 males - Gang bang squad - I suspect that setting up a gang bang that most swingers would actually attend is rather difficult. I suspect that includes the original poster. I suspect the OP is just scratching the surface with this post and that this post in and of itself is part of the vetting process. Smart!!
What does
Swingers dying out? - Is the utah swinger community dying or becoming to needy? - I'm guessing whether you think things are dying out, is a matter of peperspective. If you have a certain kind of couple you are looking for and want to meet someone new every weekend, I'm guessing the well will run dry quickly.
We have very little time, so even meeting a few people here and there can be tough to schedule.
I see events, parties and booty calls listed all the time...add in the messages, friend requests (which are usually useless), and new people joining (whom you can choose to say hi to or not), and honestly, I'm not sure how anyone has time for it all to the point of saying the swing scene is dying. Guess we're just too new to remember the good old days. But as far as we can tell, there are a lot of nice, fun people to get to know...and simply not enough time to.
Las Vegas Swingers club - - We are locals. Most agree that Whispers and Playhouselv are the places to go.
swingers helper... - I know some of us need this every now and again... - What is your sign?
Are swingers moral? - Who determines what morals are? - From certain perspectives yes that's what I'm saying. Religion twists things but from the view of an Islamic extremest what those terrorists did on that plane was the pinnacle of a moral example. From our point of view it was horrid and sick. We are in the out group to these terrorists and religion has warped their view so that they think they need to defend the ideals of their in group. Understanding that they believe they are doing good things doesn't excuse them from the bad things they do. Like how the Pope isn't innocent for using his influence to stop people from using condoms in countries riddled with AIDS and parent less children. He believes he is doing right but is inexcusable.
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