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Lack of Communication - Is it really that hard? - I've been thinking about this thread (and other's like it...they seem to come along every few months or so, along with the ones about whether or not condoms are a good idea or whether we're just caving to the big latex conglomerates) and I have a few additional thoughts.
First, many (most?) emails we receive seem to have about as much thought put into them as one might put into which side of their hamburger to start eating on. If they aren't spammed out to multiple people the senders, at very least, don't seem to have the verbal capacity to write anything beyond, "We seen yer add and wanna put our naughty bits in yer naughty bits." [SIC] Is it that hard to include a little tidbit or two about WHY you think we might be a good match for you and why we would want to take time out of our busy lives to meet with you? And the few that DO contain more than a generic greeting or poorly thought out pick up line have obviously not read our profile (don't necessarily blame them...takes a minimum of a couple of hours to slog through) and don't know what we are and are not looking for. For Christ's sake, give us at least ONE compelling reason why you think we'd like to meet you such as, "We love fisting out stuffed ferrets too and also worship Satan as our lord and master. Let's have coffee."
Second, when did we all become such Tender Heart Care Bears? And why do we necessarily feel entitled to a response to a more often than not spammed out email from people wanting to perv our locked pics? I've only written back to that nice Nigerian prince like ten or fifteen times before I finally got tired of him asking for my checking account number. Do you call back every carpet cleaning company that leaves a message on your voice mail? Do you send a nice polite note back the the guy who's running for president for the Violent Tyrannical Dictator Party and wants you to donate to his campaign fund? I mean, he was even nice enough to send you a self addressed stamped envelope.
So maybe put a little thought into your solicitations. Give people a compelling reason to write you back beyond, "OMG, you're swingers? We're swingers too. We should totally fuck!". This goes double for single guys. Read the profile...even if you have to do it over two or three nights and use a dictionary to look up the big words. Take note of what people are and aren't looking for and especially if they mention your particular demographic. And last but not least, Don't worry about it if someone doesn't write you back. For all you know they've just survived a horrific bumper car accident at Lagoon or maybe they're 2 days in to binge watching all nine seasons of Matlock and haven't eaten or slept for two days. If you're consistently not getting any responses to your emails maybe you're fishin' in the wrong pond. Take a good long hard look in the mirror and ask yourself honestly if Angelina Jolie REALLY would like to fuck you or if you're more likely to hit it off with Steve Buscemi or Nick Nolte.
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'No pressure!' or 'Boundaries respected!' - What does the opposite look like? - "...isn't it a given that one won't assault another person or attempt to do so?"
One would hope. Unfortunately the lifestyle has become so adulterated (pun intended) by just about anyone who thinks it's a free, easy way to get NSA sex that you now have a virtual cornucopia of people who don't really "get it". What I guess I'm trying to say is that it seems like it's no longer wife swapping or swinging. It's now "the lifestyle" and apparently includes every manner of sexual libertine imaginable including those who view swingers (and yes I mean mostly females) as wanton sluts who are borderline nymphomaniacs that lack the capacity or will to say (or mean) "No.".
It would be very interesting to poll women who have been in the lifestyle for a considerable amount of time, say ten, fifteen or twenty years, and ask them if they're ever had to more or less fight a guy off or worse, or if they've ever entertained unwanted advances so as to not rock the boat or harsh the vibe at a swing party. Sadly I'd be willing to bet the number would be fairly high. [em]Emo_8[/em]
Are swingers moral? - Who determines what morals are? - From certain perspectives yes that's what I'm saying. Religion twists things but from the view of an Islamic extremest what those terrorists did on that plane was the pinnacle of a moral example. From our point of view it was horrid and sick. We are in the out group to these terrorists and religion has warped their view so that they think they need to defend the ideals of their in group. Understanding that they believe they are doing good things doesn't excuse them from the bad things they do. Like how the Pope isn't innocent for using his influence to stop people from using condoms in countries riddled with AIDS and parent less children. He believes he is doing right but is inexcusable.
Swinging clubs/locations - - We went out last night. Button Down was full of Chads and Bros and the dance floor was small and uncomfortably crowded. No swingers in sight—just a bunch of kids (seriously, I felt really old there at 36). We bailed at about midnight and went to Moose Lounge and it looks completely closed down forever (**EDIT**: Moose Lounge is still open, it was just apparently either closed or just REALLY dead that night). We were very sad and went back to the hotel for our own after party by ourselves (which went very well for the record). We really liked Friday night moose lounge in the past, I hope something like that starts up again.
Newbie Advice? - - [quote=EVILDOERS]Unless that's specifically the scene you are looking for and only want to play in you might want to seriously reconsider your screen name. A HUGE misconception among single males looking to play in the lifestyle is that most, or even many, married males are cucks looking for a bull to fuck their wives. While there certainly are some that are into that scene they are a very small minority of swingers. You might want to check out some cuck-specific websites or maybe even some Hotwife sites rather than swinger sites if that's your thing. [/quote]
Thank you for the insight here, unfortunately I haven't come across any sites with such a strong presence as this one.
Swingers - a couples only lifestyle? - Are singles considered to be swingers? - Swinger is defined by the one defining themselves a swinger....
Swingers dying out? - Is the utah swinger community dying or becoming to needy? - there arent as many new members for sure.....and it does seem that activity has dropped by a good bit....
hosting parties - would love to hear from everyone - [quote=SLCWANDERLUST]I have to echo Sara. People don't know how to RSVP. Put that in your invite. If it is a small house party RSVPing is mandatory. If you plan to fill your house to the rafters with drunken swingers a few couples more or less isn't a problem. One way to force RSVP's is to not give out address until you get an RSVP. There is a book called "Loving More" I don't know if it is available any more. It is a little dated. tells you how to find couples through personal ads! but the info on throwing a party is good. [/quote]
Good points....We had planned on using the address thing to help solidify the rsvps...We have room for quite a few...as long as they all play nice..LOL But not sure we want to fill the place to the rafters...LOL Knowing at least approximately how many are coming is pretty vital info..we think.
Sorta reminds me of that old song.."Four and Twenty Virgins"...LOL
Cum One Cum All!!! - - i hope they make a bracelet for nazi swingers...red and black with a cute little swastika. comes with matching lil mustache and inherent hatred for anyone not aryan.
and just a couple pages back i read something about sending the "wets" back to where they came from? i guess when you are racist you dont notice when other people are being racist.
there is a guy who just started at my work. he is from Venezuela. doesnt speak a lot of english. i know enough spanish to direct him but it frustrates me. ive worked with people from vera cruz, mexico who refuse to learn english or speak it. ive worked with bosnians who dont speak very much english...tibetans..muslims arabs...israelis and palestinians...and a turkish guy who GREW UP HERE and still doesnt speak much english. i do agree that they should put some effort into learning the language of the country they are living in...just like if i went to their country i would be required to learn their language...they aint gonna change for me...although i do make an effort to learn a couple phrases in their language for fun. thats pretty much all that bugs me about immigrants in this country...the language barrier. gives you a reason to get to know them...maybe if you heard their stories you would understand why they are here. one of the bosnians i worked with was royalty in her country...maids..their equivalent of millions of dollars...but in the war, their houses were demolished or used for army personnel. so they came to our country and now work as maids and cooks in hospitals. in their country they dont work...the guys work, and the women cook and clean..so coming here is hell for them..but they are here..they have no choice. you want to send them back to their country? their bullet ridden houses and swimming pools full of corpses..? i couldnt live with myself sending someone back to that hell.
Game ON....which sign is Hornier...(is that a word?) - zodiac signs of swingers? - He Leo-ROAR!!!!
She Gemini :z
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