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How much is too much - The right protocol? - I would think that there are a few issues here.
1. If you haven't talked or chatted with any of these folks you've sent a fr to, or at least sent a message along with the fr, they may just delete it. That's what we do.
2. If they do approve in these cases, they could just be doing it so they can go in and view your private pics then delete the friend and then you can't view theirs. Kinda chickenshit in my opinion.
3. You age could be hinder some to take you seriously as swingers because I have noticed that although everyone likes young women, some feel that the younger couples are not mature enough to be swingers.
Anyway you look at it, it might serve you well to chat with some people a bit before sending requests. And if they don't like you, fuck em'. Give us a shout and we will be your friends. :)
Male bi - Why all the taboo about male bi - I find controversy within the swinging community almost silly. We are collectively engaged in an activity that most of our non-swinging peers would describe (at least in public) as way out there, far beyond the pale. However within our "open" community a few people tend to limit themselves and try to limit others by saying that I am right and thus everyone else is wrong.
We can have open discussion on soft swing and full swap, same room and open. We have clubs and parties and swinging resorts to talk about. Everyone has their own opinion, and most are very open to the opinion of others.
One area where the discussion does tend to polarize swingers is the subject of bisexual males.
Doesn't this strike you as odd? Bisexual females are perhaps the single most powerful driving force within the swinging community. And bisexual males are the closest thing we have to a paria.
Part of that is surely the fear of disease but not entirely. Fear of disease is a clear concern in all swinging and can be controlled. There are far fewer bisexual males in swinging than besexual females but we do not exclude straight females. Why the exclusion of bisexual males?
Perhaps times are changing and bisexual males will become an accepted part of the swinging community. In the interim we intend to at least give them the benefit of the doubt.
Scuba, Nude Beaches, Swingers - Scuba, Nude Beaches, Swingers - We also love to dive and was thinking how much fun it would be to do a livaboard trip with swingers. I dont know of any outfits that would possibly allow it but think it would be fun. We spent 7 days on the Cat Pallue in the Bahamas diving the Exumas what a blast. Anyways if something comes about with a nude cruise let us know.
A paradigm shift - polyamory - Your thoughts? Here are mine... - This is a big big topic... good one.
It is true to say that an amazing thing about being human (thank any God figure you'de like :)) is that we have an INFINITE capacity to love. It is most obvious in women but exists in us all.
I understand all of the comments about walking a path together, finding the one and only, etc and that is a great way to live but the fact is, we can love more than we do. We can choose to want to be with a certain person more than any other but we can love many. The easiest way to show this is that when a child is born they make the parents feel as if they could never love like they do this first beautiful child but when others come along what we experience is an expansion of our capacity to love. It is limitless. As mothers and parents can love many children so can we all love many others. We dont need to, some dont want to, but some feel it is a natural and Godly way to live. The biggest obstacle to it is jealousy or feelings of ownership which Swingers have largely learned are "lower thinking" attributes and, at least as far as the physical goes, they are beyond jealousy etc (of course I mean the healthy ones).
Big Love is a real deal. It scares many people, even swingers but it is the next and logical progression in the more enlightened thinkers out there, which many swingers are. We swingers have at least tackled the threat that comes from "physical" sharing but many are scared to death to hear their loving sharing spouse express feelings of love for another man or woman.
A great book on this topic is "The Future of Love" by Daphne Rose Kingma. It's excellent.
Im sure this idea (polyamory) is not for everybody but it is natural and can be as rewarding and freeing as swinging is I'm told...(Jealousy, guilt and ownership are unnatural 'learned' behaviors).
I already know I cant be 'everything' to my loving partner but am I strong enough to allow her "love" someong else? Oh wait... is that really my decision?
Thats my 2 cents...
Dave
Our Family knows... Now what, any advice? - - Recently our family confronted us about swinging. All our family meaning both sets of parents, and siblings plus spouse confronted us. We didn't deny that we are swingers. They were concerned for our health and well being. They also gave us an ultimatum to quit because they said it
Kauai Hawaii for Thanksgiving - Nov 19-27 - We will be staying at Poipu Beach on the south shore of Kauai from the Sat before until the Sat after Thanksgiving. Are there any Swingers clubs or hangouts on Kauai? Nude beaches at least where we can have some late night fun? Thanks.
Invatation to swingers. - open letter against Dr. Phil - I agree! Dr. Laura's nude pics didn't really do it for me either!Once again I say, BOYCOT! Money gives people like that a voice.
The vent! - Judgements, I'm so tired of them. - Ah,
It's a decision we all live with - ebb and flow with. There are interesting things that occur within as Swingers, but the changes are pretty much within.
Learn to let go of what doesn't matter. Hold on to what does. In the end, live and let live! They are entitled to be as well as you.
So...just get in the mud and have a good time!
---------------K_T
"Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul in this world--and never will."
Mark Twain
Taking It Like A Champ - Best and worst ways to say "no thanks" - So I'm sure we've all been the recipients of a "Ya, we're just not interested" type of rejection after meeting a hot, fun couple that we thought we clicked with. No? Just us? Well then maybe you've handed a few of those out. So what ways have you successfully told a couple they're just not good enough, or how have you been nicely rejected in a way that didn't devastate you? We want to find a way to let a couple down that doesn't leave a them bawling their eyeballs out or pinning our picture to the wall and throwing darts at it. Especially if we like them...we just don't LIKE them. You know? Share your experiences, oh wise swingers!
Tooele swingers party - - I’m in too
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