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Is this one of your rules? What is it? is it fear? or something - Does everyone feel this way? - Don, I completely agree. I'm not suggesting "friends first" folks are wrong. I'm just explaining:
1. Why WE don't use that phrase...and folks often make offensive assumptions about us because we don't.
2. Why WE are always a bit uneasy about contacting couples who DO use that phrase.
FYI, around where we live, we have this whole "lifestyle clique" who run around protesting WAY too much about how friends is all that matters and they aren't in it for the sex at all, and labeling anyone who disagrees with them as "bedpost notchers." Mostly though, the way you get in their crosshairs is by telling one of them "no thanks." So this is a bit of a sore subject for us...as we DID tell a few of them "no thanks" and we aren't about to lie and say we didn't become swingers for the sexual aspects. Duh! LOL
Black Ring, Right Hand - How to tell if someone's a swinger - [quote=ASHLEYSCOTT]Lol, Jeff has been wearing a black ring on his pinky finger of his right hand for almost 10 year's. We heard it was a swinger thing way before we were Swingers but he kept wearing it to mess with people at the time. Definitely not a new thing.[/quote]
While it may not be new, it's definitely gaining traction.. And some of the sillier things (like the upside down pineapple) are going the way of urban legends. =)
Would like to see it more in Utah, since it's definitely a "thing" when you get outside the lowly shelter of Utah-centric Swingular. (SLS, Kasidie, etc, are all at least mentioning it regularly now, if not downright pushing / endorsing it).... And the OTHER online communities (like reddit) are pushing it pretty hard.
Even when it comes to swinging, it seems Utah is sheltered. =)
However, worth adding, that based on my observations, it's gaining traction mostly with the under-40 crowd. (Not coincidentally, the same crowd that's more active in the social-media circles).
sluts? what? - how so? - [quote=SHADOWINGWHISPERS][quote=DELICIOUSLYWET]There is a book called "The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities" written by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy that defines Slut in a positive light. They might be using slut in that context. The book has been very popular with swingers for quite a few years. [/quote]
I would hope they are using it in that sense.. but words that compile around the slut term make it strongly seem like it's a negative term.. sadly..[/quote]
If they are using it in a derogatory sense it may be because they are experiencing a certain level of self loathing because they are struggling to accept their own sexual nature or they may have peers and family that would do their best to destroy them were they to live so free as you are. I think that the anger that leads to name calling and judgment sometimes is a secondary emotion that people choose to embrace because the primary emotion is much more painful. They may want what you have but lack the confidence or courage to go find it for themselves and so the same people that call someone a slut in the derogatory sense far too often are the same people that go off and struggle with their own sexuality in dark places through lying, cheating, abuse and even darker acts while swimming in a sea of self loathing.
We should all jump up and down and be happy that you are free or striving to become free of such shackles!
Swingers cars??? - What ya driving?? - Rolling a 2009 freightliner century class s/t oh yeah and I get a whopping 51/2 miles to the gallon lol
Girls that are into DP - How common is this activity among the swingers? - I been in the lifestyle for 10 years mainly as a single male but also with a couple GF's. I actually found that more woman are into or are more interested in trying vaginal DP then regular DP. Of course, its tougher for them to find two guys who are willing and able to do a vaginal DP. Being I get most of my pleasure from the woman's pleasure its never been a issue for me and have done many of them :)
Sturgis 2009 - - We will be passing through Missoula on the way, but will not be stopping at the Testy Festy; but we are definately interested in meeting up with fellow SOBs (swingers on bikes) on the way.
Jewellery, logos, etc to identify other swingers - We would like info on websites catering to discreet items to let others "know" we are in the lifestyle - As we posted earlier, we're going on a cruise out of Galveston on 4/1. This is NOT a lifestyles cruise. We'll be traveling with another couple, but what we're looking for is a way to let others know we're in the lifestyle.
We're not looking for t-shirts that say "We are in the alternate lifestyle!!" - but rather something stylish like a necklasce, ring, bracelet, etc. If you have a suggestion on clothing that has a logo that others in the lifestyle would recognize we'd love to know about it.
If you have found a way, or know of sites on the internet that have what we're looking for - we would enjoy hearing you!
Thanks in advance!
What really defines a TRUE swinger? - - [quote=INVITESOME][quote=T4REAL69] Didn't get enough hugs from your mom or is it a simple fact that you just wear your underwear too tight? Once again get over yourself![/quote] Most single males don't know the meaning of "NO" and are just like stray dogs in heat that just keep coming back no matter how many times you hit them with a newspaper. Bad dog. Go away!!![/quote]
Since you are obviously well qualified to both evaluate and judge "MOST" single males, I can only assume you've done extensive research into the matter by either playing with, or personally meeting "MOST" of the single men who consider themselves to be swingers.
Interesting.
And thank you for sharing the results of your years of in-depth studies with the rest of us - as oppossed to merely stating some half-baked personal opinion.
I hope to one day achieve your level of expertise in something.
Do women throw themselves at married men? - - For those of you that would like a quick and concise answer the the OP's question I would offer the following:
NO!!
For the benefit of the one insomniac that wants to read a little more I will offer the following:
Having been married to only one woman for over thirty years and with the two of us having become swingers in the last 9 years I have pondered and discussed this very subject or something nigh unto it with Mrs. Delicious. In my experience few intelligent women, with some self esteem, throw themselves at men married or otherwise. Women and men do develop fondness and feelings for people they get to know and that can grow to esteem and maybe even desire. Happily married men that are friendly and not a rake hitting on every girl around seem safe because they are approachable without hearing the tired old come on lines. A man that can socially interact with attractive women without sexually harassing them enjoys a lot of advantages. Therefore women in the work place or other social venues tend to get to know just such men. There are all sorts of intimacies, kindnesses and appreciations that men and women need and desire from each other that are not sexual or at least overtly sexual. People that are good at sincerely giving these sorts of reassurances and moments of recognition and appreciation to others tend to make friends and friendships can sometimes become flirtatious and flirtatious friendships can become important and lead to fantasy and so on and so forth and can eventually escalate into sexual intimacy if both sides are headed down the same pathway. This is particularly true if someone discovers just such a friendship and their relationship with their significant other has digressed to a point that the relationship has become mostly significantly combative. In the case that the married man is actually happily married and not willing to cheat then it would just remain a fantasy. So no, I do not believe that women throw themselves at married men but yes I believe women do fall into fantasy and even into love with married men and the same can be said for men smitten with a married lady with which they have become friends. I have had female friends over the course of many years of being married and of being alive and out there in the world develop a crush on me and a few have expressed a desire to have an affair. Usually it has been a woman in a relationship that had become verbally combative. No I never have had any such affair. The only sex outside of marriage for me occurs as a swinger with my dear wife fully aware and usually present. We are frankly very much paired up as a couple but just not quite monogamous. I was never and I still am not the aggressive guy with the hard press come on lines. Being a gentleman that opens doors can open a few doors unintentionally over the course of a lifetime.
In the swing world all the rules change to some extent in that sex is usually not pursued out of a desire to physically express love and romance toward someone that is in your mind and in your heart throughout the day and follows you into your dreams. In pursuit of swing sex women will possibly or probably be more focused on the sexual desire rather than the emotional desire to express sexually toward someone special. Therefore come on lines may well be appreciated so long as the lady thinks the guy with the lines might be really good in bed.
There a few women single or married that are on the sexual prowl 24/7/365 kind of like some single guys in a swing site (That was a joke
The Vent part II - Secrecy - Small towns are a real pain in the posterior. We were asked if I was at the hospital when we came in at about 4am. We told tham that we were at a party that lasted a bit longer than we had expected. People here talk about other people on the other side of town... I think they can tell what you ate last night, and will tell everyone they comeincontact with about it. A for this specific case... I think I would just tell them that you have plans that do not involve them but maybe another time when things are not planned. Being good friends with "vanilla" people who are so hanggie oners can be a real drag if you are in the lifestyle. As for telling most people that you swing... well to say the least..... DOn't... I wouldn't tell my right winged brother that we swing... He would probably have a conniption. If friends ask if you swing, they alreasy have the notion and they are still there so if you think it's prudent... OK. Never just tell anyone just so that you are honest with you and in a small town.... you will probably be ostrisized. We have contacted people in this town who are on other sites and they usually will not answer a note. Afraid that people will find out who they are. We have met people on the streets that we know from clubs and generally just say hi or exchange pleasantries.... Happened yesterday at a local restaurant...met a guy with his daughter and we said hi and were very warm but the daughter looked very confused by it all... His wife wasn't there so we figured that his daughter was taking Dad out for FathersDay. Have met people we have played with and just said hi and little more and moved on... I haven't aclue why anyone would duck out of a club if they see some one they know, even a relative. They are there for the same reason as you and might be just as imbarrassed but your secrete is safe with them. One of my girlfriends and my wife and I were at a club social and she ran into her husbands boss... Nothing ever came of it and they didn't even ask why he wasn't there or who we were. We swingers are a very descreet lot, for the most part.. and seeing someone you know, at a club, generally results in nothing but another friend. We go to socials/dances/parties just about every week but in towns not too far away... If we meet people we know we are most likely to talk to them and say hi and talk about how great the music is that night or even hook up.... So one never knows ... Life is a joke within a joke sometimes.... and one need to learn how to laugh at what it brings to the table.
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