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The definition of cheating - - Interesting discussion. Certainly from a relationship standpoint the classic definition of cheating is being with someone other than your partner physically and/or emotionally. As swingers, however, we often hold ourselves above others and fall back on the lying and/or sneaking around aspect. Personally I feel that being dishonest with the person you hold most dear in this life to be the essence of cheating for me. When information is withheld you take away that person's prerogative to choose whether or not to stay in the relationship with you based on your actions outside of the relationship. There are a million ways people rationalize cheating. I find that a person's attitude towards cheating is a very good litmus test for the depth of their character. Now should we talk about cheating on a test or cheating other people out of their hard earned money? How about cheating on your taxes or at a poker game with friends? At what point DOES cheating become morally reprehensible or should it be "all's fair in love and war" and "every man (or woman) for himself"? Or as SIRNEWBY asserts, is self deception/lying/cheating really the only valid metric? Or did I misunderstand your point, SN? It would be interesting to get feedback from people (I'm sure there are plenty) who've been cheated on.
Moab Utah - Swingers in Moab - We are seriously considering a trip to Moab later this month
Looking to establish a group of safe swingers - - This sounds like a fantastic concept. We have had some groups over the years that have been a great time. Unfortunately people move or leave the lifestyle so it never lasts forever. We are interested though
Another Swingers Show on TV - - Hey RICKNWIFE it repeats tonight at 8:00 PM!
How to identify yourself as a Swinger - - Yes, the black ring has been around for decades. Along with white rocks in your yard, flamingos, upside down pineapples, etc. I'm sure these things were helpful and even needed before the age of the internet.
Nowadays, there are so many ways to contact and meet people, I can't imagine the need to randomly bump into to other swingers.
In fact, the black ring is so well known, that that is the reason I DON'T wear one. I knew about it about 18 years ago, well before I ever considered swinging.
So, it's useless for two reasons. 1. Not enough swingers use it to be of much use. 2. Too many non swingers know about it to be very practical. But with the sites and parties and events, there really isn't much need for it anyway.
I'm glad I started all this recently with the internet to use. I really would have hated wearing black rings and putting white rocks and flamingos in my yard and upside down pineapples in my window. :p
Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - AKLIM69,
Look at the "who's online" button under the SEARCH/BROWSE tab. There are plenty of people online right now seeking single males. Granted they are the minority, but from my locale, the search brought a 20-30% return per page, for those seeking single males.
Again, it's not up to you or I to dictate what it sexually acceptable for everyone else. If that were the case swinging should be outlawed because we sure as hell are not the majority compared to the rest of the country.
-D-
Swinging/Polyamory - I just wanted to hear other people thoughs on this....... - I was looking through the forum subjects and when I came upon this one and looked I wondered why I hadn't commented, since I am a swinger and am poly for quite a few years and I am involved with 2 women as secondary relationships. Someone said "poly is about being monogomous within a plural relationship." The term monogamous doesn't even enter into poly. Poly relationships can be primary, secondary or tertiary. Further people can be added on add-infinitem, so long as everyone involved in particularly primary and soemtimes secondary relationships are consentual about that aspect. In tertiary relationships it is necessary that that they be aware of all other relaionships and OK with that concept.
I also belong to a Poly group that is not like Yahoo or AOL groups. It is privately owned and is open to poly and poly friendly people. While I know that a small number of the group does swing, they do not advertise. Poly people generally take issue with swinging as be strictly recreational SEX! and no love where as poly, supposedly, is love based not necessarily any sex....but sex usually is involved at some level. The attitude is that swinging is not a good thing that swinging is diametrically opposed to poly.
We definitely do swing and I have 2 secondary relationships. One could be a primary if she could get over the hurt from a failed..abusive marriage of 18 years. We met thru swinging and will continue until I can't walk talk or motovate. My wife while not professing to be poly is in love with that lady as well as I am. We would invite her to join us as a primary relationship and have mentioned that to her... She is afraid to "lay my heart out and have it stomped on again".
So while there are some similarities in swinging and poly in that more and more swingers are looking for relationships, i.e., "friends with benefits" ; "Friends in and out of the bedroom". These friendships are based on attraction and sex after the attraction. Poly people take the concept that poly is based on loving someone and if sex happens then OK, but that love is the key and sex is at best secondary. I don't have any problems with poly and swinging. We have met people while swinging and I have fallen in love or they have fallen in love with my wife or me.
Swinging and poly are definitely compatable..at least for us.
Vanilla "life" just doesn't taste as good! - What else doesn't "taste" as good? - [quote=EVILDOERS]The dirty little secret of the lifestyle (Okay, there are a LOT of dirty little secrets! LOL) is that it's VERY hard to go back to Vanillalandia and not become bored to death. We've known SO many swingers who "quit" the lifestyle and no longer want to have recreational sex with others but nonetheless still try to hang out with swingers and go to swing parties and such. *shrug*
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You’re right. We’ve taken breaks, but after a while, Mrs gets the itch and convinces Mr (usually not that difficult) to return.
fantasy football league free trying to get only swingers in leag - free autodraft fantasy football league - What if you don't know anything about football? Yes this is the male half....can I just fantasize that I do?
Odd pattern. - Why the interest/disinterest? - I'm not surprised to see mentions of homophobia and haste in filling out the profile as possible reasons; I hadn't thought of the male ego being so driven as to ignore disinterest from gay women. Yet that ego can't be reasoned w/ when the interested person's equipment matches the imagined ideal but the original birth certificate does not, even when reproduction is not on the table.
As Terry pointed out above, every blastocyst starts out female and slightly less than half mutate into males as they become fetuses.
AHARLEYCPL, not only is hate mail unwarranted, I'm personally pleased this discussion, for all its potential thorns, hasn't disintegrated into discriminatory ugliness like it would on some sites where the membership is more mainstream; I think it's b/c swingers already think outside the societal norms when it comes to expressing sexuality and have more of a 'live and let live if no one gets hurt' mentality. Being a swinger isn't about thoughtless sex, it's about even more thoughtful sex and this discussion shows that. :)
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