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Swingers Forum - Polyamory anybody?

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Through our time together as a couple we have progressed through various phases starting with just three ways and progressing to swinging, and now are very open to polyamory. We have found it very hard to connect with a couple where we both Have strong physical and intellectual connections to the other partner. In addition, we desire to develop emotional connections with partners as we feel it only makes the connection physically and mentally even more enjoyable.

We’d really love to find some couples or singles who feel the same way and are very open to seeing and possibly dating individuals who are in the same boat.

Has anyone else followed a similar path or Does anyone else have similar thoughts or desires or even advice?
We've been searching for the ever elusive "Unicorn" for 20+ YEARS, and have yet to find even ONE lady who is real, serious, sincere, NOT all talk, who is interested in more than just sex only, and who is really ready to pursue a truly poly relationship. What are they so afraid of??? Our favorite line has become "ONLY in the movies"!
I've been in 2 poly relationships and they were both enjoyable. They ended for reasons other than the relationships.

One of the most fun times was when the husband and I double dated with the wife and her boyfriend.
Hey! I'm polyamorous and I enjoy swinging. I think its a natural thing to be able to enjoy both. It takes alot of communication and transparency but when done right it can be a whole new world. I currently have 3 ldr's and fwb with some great women locally. I enjoy my freedom and connections. If you have any questions feel free to hit me up!
We’ve enjoyed a few really close connections in the past. People relocate and distance is a barrier. We are a really tightly bonded pair, and we raised a family together, so for the two of us, our relationship as a twosome, has just sort of naturally held center stage. We know a lot of people that self identify as poly. Most of these friends also seem to be in a pair bonded couple relationship, that’s lasted for years or decades, with no other Romantic relationship ever reaching a equal level of importance as their twosome. Exclusive, extended Romantic and sexual relationships, really can increase the intimacy factor. We’ve been their before. We’ve also just done a lot of sex, for sex sake hooking up. Right now, due to the pandemic, we are just enjoying each other. Once the situation is a somewhat more controlled, we are hoping to enter into something exclusive, and intense,
We both have poly relationships currently and for us its better to have a strong connection and development with another person. For us its not just about swinging but expanding ourselves beyond the normal.
We both have poly relationships currently and for us its better to have a strong connection and development with another person. For us its not just about swinging but expanding ourselves beyond the normal.
2nu1s wrote:

We've been searching for the ever elusive "Unicorn" for 20+ YEARS, and have yet to find even ONE lady who is real, serious, sincere, NOT all talk, who is interested in more than just sex only, and who is really ready to pursue a truly poly relationship. What are they so afraid of??? Our favorite line has become "ONLY in the movies"!


“Girls just wanna have fun!”

If I’ve ever seen a post or profile that is a huge red flag for single ladies in the lifestyle, it’s this one. Holy shit. The whole purpose of them join us swingers is to remove all the boundaries, clingyness, relationships, and drama. Having a relationship with one partner is hard enough let alone two partners. 🤦‍♂️


Maybe instead of griping that no single woman wants to enter as a third in a lifelong relationship with you two, start with asking them to commit to a 10 minute drink at the bar, if that’s fun maybe have a second drink....and go from there?!
If you two are interested in naked activities hit us up. Parties, swims, camping, hiking, kayaking, biking, sunbathing, hot springs.
Tried it, ended badly.
THREESOME2 wrote:

Tried it, ended badly.


https://media.tenor.com/images/5f59a741e0d328ee78282a7986347633/tenor.gif
I'm dating a woman in an open marriage, so yeah I guess that makes me polyamorous.
We are also interested in meeting a couple but it does seem a fairytale.
If your polyamaours feel free to email us. Its been fairly difficult meeting others who are and that are looking for other polys out there.
WildCouple88 wrote:

Through our time together as a couple we have progressed through various phases starting with just three ways and progressing to swinging, and now are very open to polyamory. We have found it very hard to connect with a couple where we both Have strong physical and intellectual connections to the other partner. In addition, we desire to develop emotional connections with partners as we feel it only makes the connection physically and mentally even more enjoyable.
We’d really love to find some couples or singles who feel the same way and are very open to seeing and possibly dating individuals who are in the same boat.
Has anyone else followed a similar path or Does anyone else have similar thoughts or desires or even advice?
we've always felt that a strong connection mentally and even emotionally makes the experience way better.
To Sm435.................. You are IDIOTS! What we seek has absolutely NOTHING to do with swinging, or are your heads too far up multiple asses to be able to read between the lines?
Sexysinnersut wrote:

I think your problem is that you just haven’t met us yet 😅


Well let’s change that!
Candyrocks69 wrote:

WildCouple88 wrote:

Through our time together as a couple we have progressed through various phases starting with just three ways and progressing to swinging, and now are very open to polyamory. We have found it very hard to connect with a couple where we both Have strong physical and intellectual connections to the other partner. In addition, we desire to develop emotional connections with partners as we feel it only makes the connection physically and mentally even more enjoyable.
We’d really love to find some couples or singles who feel the same way and are very open to seeing and possibly dating individuals who are in the same boat.
Has anyone else followed a similar path or Does anyone else have similar thoughts or desires or even advice?
we've always felt that a strong connection mentally and even emotionally makes the experience way better.


Feel free to message us!
Poly is absolutely fantastic when you find it 👍👍
CYN wrote:

Poly is absolutely fantastic when you find it 👍👍


Yes it is!
I agree! it makes thing fun and easier. plus the benefit of having a connection is way better especially with sex involved.
SHAKURA89 wrote:

I agree! it makes thing fun and easier. plus the benefit of having a connection is way better especially with sex involved.
completely agree
SHAKURA89 wrote:

I agree! it makes thing fun and easier. plus the benefit of having a connection is way better especially with sex involved.


For sure 😋
app errantly this is a touchy subject for some people. I brought up this exact thing in a slightly different way and got completely roasted for it by some. it’s not a unicorn I’m looking for just someone similar to what my wife has. a really good friend that can share time and activities with and not worry about sweeping them off their feet or tying them down with commitment where I go home when we are through and share an occasional weekend or something along with NSA sex. gladd to know we’er not alone.
We have tried it and enjoyed our experience. It’s definitely not for the faint of heart or for those that have trust issues.

Looking forward to finding others that have similar interests.
Up4FunUT wrote:

We have talked about this lately, never done it before.


It’s definitely a big leap. Just takes trust, open communication and rules that everyone understands and respects.

We just decided to try it and if it didn’t work then there would be no hard feelings or getting upset. Worked for us anyways.
We have tried it a few times with various successes. The mrs actually prefers poly over swinging. It's a great thing when it works but it's hard for sure.
SOCURIOUS wrote:

app errantly this is a touchy subject for some people. I brought up this exact thing in a slightly different way and got completely roasted for it by some. it’s not a unicorn I’m looking for just someone similar to what my wife has. a really good friend that can share time and activities with and not worry about sweeping them off their feet or tying them down with commitment where I go home when we are through and share an occasional weekend or something along with NSA sex. gladd to know we’er not alone.


Socurious your description sounds more like a FWB. There's obviously no right way to polyam but a relationship is considered a typical component.

Wildcouple88 there's quite a few polyam people on here though I've had more success finding non-mon polyam type relationships on OKC. This site has been fun for finding parties, fun groups of people and the occasional strange.
For those of you in Utah, join Utah Polyamory Society. Great organization and resource.
1DIVA wrote:

For those of you in Utah, join Utah Polyamory Society. Great organization and resource.

I saw their website. Even messaged them. This is a lifestyle We are active in and We are trying our best to get back into it. Even though We both work 60-90 hours a week
I think a lot of folks here are inclined to polyamory, but it puts too much pressure on a relationship to start out looking for it from the start. For me it seems that it evolves over time as a couple and I get more comfortable and at ease with one another. At some level it is a matter of semantics too. You may see folks regularly, do things with them outside of play, have an emotional connection and not everyone involved may see that is polyamory though there is an ongoing relationship, emotional intimacy and friendship. I wouldn't get to hung up on labels as people have different ideas what words like "polyamory", "FWB", "vixen", "open relationship" and "bull" mean to them. There is a lot of room for overlap in the different terms in my humble opinion.
Not all polyamorous people are swingers, and not all swingers are given to polyamory. Some are naturally inclined to enjoy both alternatives. Perhaps, most of us fall someplace near the middle ground between polyamory including multiple commitments, all on equal ground, or just casual sex just for pleasure. We both seem to find ourselves near the center ground. We both enjoy a bit less guarded perspective, where we can let our emotions go where they will. We have both enjoyed some extra martial sexual relationships which included some romance. Really, nobody has ever drawn either of us into their influence or romantic spell as deeply as we feel toward each other. So, in the truest sense, we are not or at least have not yet, ever become fully polyamorous. It may be that after almost four decades together, our bond as a couple just naturally creates some boundaries. Our decision to swing began and remains a decision that stems from our shared desires. It is an agreement, that encourages each other’s pleasure. Fidelity, does not require monogamy. Full allowing each other to experience pleasure and relationships is in and of itself a commitment to each other’s growth and joy!
Royutahcouple wrote:

We have tried it and enjoyed our experience. It’s definitely not for the faint of heart or for those that have trust issues.
Looking forward to finding others that have similar interests.


Feel free to message us if interested :)
Up4FunUT wrote:

We have talked about this lately, never done it before.


Well if interested we definitely have some experience and would love to answer any questions you have
Polyamory can be a very challenging juggle. If both couples are not extremely stable in the primary relationship, it's easy to find yourself quickly turning to the secondary relationship. After 8 years in polyamory with 2 different couples, we're finally stepping away to focus on just finding likeminded people in the swinger lifestyle, where you can have physical connections and a friendship, but not advancing in the emotional connection, so no strings attached. No 2 relationships travel the same course, so you amplify that into 4 different relationships between 2 couples, it can be very tricky and at times feel like you're walking a tightrope.
that’s us
I could write books on this..lol.. but yes We are the same. And its definitely much more fun for Us with connections.. keep in touch y'all aren't far away.
I am interested in a poly relationship. I would like to experience the bonds that grow in a relationship like that. I am not just saying this to explore. I have been interested in a poly relationship for a long time. I've just been nervous about voicing it. And have not had the opportunity.
we were in a poly relationship with another couple for 7 years...it was a great experience...I was her second "husband"...my wife his second "wife"..we went on vacations together....just did things around the house and it was a very close intimate relationship as well. Unfortunately, the other couple had some issues...he worked too much ignoring their relationship so she ended up ending our relationship...they have since divorced. A shame...it was amazing while it lasted.
Let me start be saying we are all for doing whatever makes you happy, but in our time in the LS we’ve never seen a poly relationship that has lasted, or hasn’t ended badly. We love having close friends, and it makes playing more fun when you have a friendship type connection, but poly would definitely be something we’d be cautious about.
My wife and I have been poly for years and we are always looking for new friends and possibly more. Feel free to message us.
That's how We are. And so far works just fine.. but there's no lies and everything is transparent..
We've been poly for a few years. It's great to have real relationships outside of a primary partner, while still having room for hedonistic play. In SLC proper, I think there's more poly flavored relationships than pure swinging; especially with the younger crowd.
slc_friend wrote:

I think a lot of folks here are inclined to polyamory, but it puts too much pressure on a relationship to start out looking for it from the start. For me it seems that it evolves over time as a couple and I get more comfortable and at ease with one another. At some level it is a matter of semantics too. You may see folks regularly, do things with them outside of play, have an emotional connection and not everyone involved may see that is polyamory though there is an ongoing relationship, emotional intimacy and friendship. I wouldn't get to hung up on labels as people have different ideas what words like "polyamory", "FWB", "vixen", "open relationship" and "bull" mean to them. There is a lot of room for overlap in the different terms in my humble opinion.


Well-written slc_friend. It’s easy to get caught up in a constant search for the perfect definition that fits our situations. Having said that - it is useful to have a label to put on where we are as a couplehood - especially when discussing where we may be with another couple. Probably best to just ask the other couple what they mean by … ‘x’ so that they can define what they mean.

We genuinely love the few couples we have been with - but I would hesitate to call it polyamory - as nobody can take the place of my #1.

I think the word that best describes us is compersion. Yes - I live to see my sweetie find joy, happiness, pleasure, and ecstasy as often as possible! I think she feels the same. So we are devoted and committed compersionists! Our experience is that the better the relationship we have with another couple …. where ALL the pistons are firing … well … that makes it much easier to hit those highs.

Our hope is that the couples we spend time with (in or out of the bedroom) feel the same way. We can live with it if they don’t … as long as we don’t bring harm to THEIR relationship. Right now that is the moral that drives our behavior.

YMMV - thanks for the interesting posts.
Damn this got resurrected after a long time! Lol.
We are Always open to meeting poly couples and love knowing that there are others out there in the journey! It’s worked great for us.
Well Wildcouple it's a good post. Definitely enjoyed it. Thank you for posting it!
We’re poly. However we see that as something that can be separate or in line with our swinging. She has a bf and we’re open to my dating. However, those relationships are generally deeper than our group interactions.
Something longer term is better for us. Sex is fun but it's better when you give a shit about those people. Making great friends and making great experiences is the best.
That is something we are always wanting as well, we enjoy the sex and fun but we ultimately like having the connection with others as a closer friendship and let things happen. We like the idea of being closer to others to have the more intimate part of the lifestyle rather than just doing things and bouncing from people to people. We don’t want to be a number to someone and don’t want to have them as a number to us either. We originally started out looking as being poly and have since looked into swinging as well but feel we would be more comfortable in the poly aspect. Feel free to reach out to us anytime if we may spark any interest at all.
We are poly as well and understand how difficult it is finding another poly couple were every one clicks
Word of the day “cmpersion”. I love it. That’s perfect.
We tried it but honestly the guys killed it, they where pushy when I wasn't around and they tried to do shady stuff. So no more of that for us.
DOOGLE83 wrote:

We tried it but honestly the guys killed it, they where pushy when I wasn't around and they tried to do shady stuff. So no more of that for us.


Im sorry to hear that. That isn’t how polyamory is supposed to be. It should be within everyone’s comfort zone, and always with consent. That being said, it does take a lot of trust building and a good sense of self-worth to avoid jealousy and make sure that you are comfortable with your significant other seeing and doing things with other partners.
I can’t believe so many men in couples would be like that, you’d think with a wife they would be extra careful to not come across that way. That’s honestly one of me and my boyfriends top conversations, it’s very easy to make women uncomfortable you have to pay attention and back off sometimes.
We released the "inner slut" in both us long ago and we're proud of ourselves for allowing that.

For many in the lifestyle, ethical non-monogamy is very acceptable. It is the reason that most of you are here.

Although we like a variety of partners, we still prefer to have deeper connections with those that we engage in sexual activities with. That is why we prefer to have a nice small core group of couples that we see often to do vanilla activities with and also play with them.

Are we sort of poly or more FWBs? I would classify ourselves as FWBs, who really like the deeper connections. But, I want to remain in love with just one woman, my wife.

For those of you who desire to be in love with your spouse and another person simultaneously, we hope you eventually find it and we wish you all the best.