Swingular - Swingers

Swingers Forum - Profiles

line
Previous Post Next Post
So you put all this info on your profile and it like nobody reads it. No blind request then bam you get a bunch. No single males bam they blind friend request you. We think that we have made things clear on the profile but I don't think people take the time to read them. Guess all they want is just pictures. So just asking if everyone has the same problem? Ok rant over. Lol
Yes, we find the same thing.
Without question, there are those who don't take the time to read the entire profile. However, you will be happy to know that we always read profiles from beginning to end, sometimes twice.
Don't read... or CAN'T?!!?

https://media1.tenor.com/images/1f217525e0465a9bc8880638a6e2f342/tenor.gif?itemid=7838627
@Playingforfun801 , you have "MFM" listed as a "Maybe" in your profile. Update that it will help... a lot of people scroll through to see what a couple is looking for and you do have it listed.

Playingforfun801 wrote:

So you put all this info on your profile and it like nobody reads it. No blind request then bam you get a bunch. No single males bam they blind friend request you. We think that we have made things clear on the profile but I don't think people take the time to read them. Guess all they want is just pictures. So just asking if everyone has the same problem? Ok rant over. Lol
Why read when there are pictures 😀?
Its crazy, 90% of friend request are blind, and most of the time, we reply back “hey you guys, you sound cool, but we dont blind accept, so would love to chat sometime...” and most every time not a reply back
I see most people on this thread are from Utah. The dominant culture here is to not communicate, especially about sex, so many have never learned. I'm not sure if that is just a Utah thing or if it is USA. Things would go better in much of life if we would just do what is being asked here, read the profile and communicate with those that you are interested in and that might be interested in you. I want to thank those that make clear what they want in their profile and keep them current as it has saved me from being a pain to those that don't want to deal with just a guy and also saved my time and getting hopes up that someone will be interested in me.

If it is any consolation, I asked a similar question on Twitter a few months ago and one of the lifestyle podcasters pointed out that our culture doesn't teach us to talk about the difficult subjects. I think for people in some parts of the country this isn't just a difficult subject, it is an impossible subject, yet they want to take part. How do you get the word out that communication is the first step to being able to participate? Maybe someone could organize a communication workshop as a first part of a meet and greet that is aimed at the demographics that tend to read profiles the least.
Playingforfun801 wrote:

So you put all this info on your profile and it like nobody reads it. No blind request then bam you get a bunch. No single males bam they blind friend request you. We think that we have made things clear on the profile but I don't think people take the time to read them. Guess all they want is just pictures. So just asking if everyone has the same problem? Ok rant over. Lol


I have actually ran across your profile before and since I am over 6 feet tall I didn't send a request. Didn't notice the single male or maybe just the height thing just stuck out.
Greywolfe13 wrote:

I see most people on this thread are from Utah.
This isn’t exclusive to Utah but may be more prevalent.
Yet in the profile it says no single males. Like I said people don't read the profile.
We experience the same on another site. I appreciate them trying but unfortunately they don't read. If they are polite, we just inform them "no thank you".
It says that in your profile sure... Or does it? Try a mobile view of a profile. The info section of what someone is looking for is truncated/collapsed and essentially hidden. So all someone sees is "seeking mfm" and "maybe" which indicates you do see single guys. So someone browsing sees you are open to that and contacts you, not seeing the profile details because those are hidden. I blame the website architecture. They should allow you to block blind requests and filter who you get messages from (i.e. they can let you block single guys from being able to message you. Also a friend requets is a quick way of seeing if the other party is interested without spending 5 minutes to craft each email, then doing emails from there (think Tinder, how that works). I see friend adds as "swiping right." Maybe it's generational.
Ps: also your "no single males" is in your additional onfo section which is hidden/collapsed in mobile and no body reads (because most ppl leave it blank). Your About Is which is shown in mobile says nothing about not wanting single males.... Perhaps put it there? Your What We Are Looking For is open to interpretation because you say couples in one line, then Preferred Guys in a whole new sentence... Which would lead a single guy to believe you want guys. Add to that "maybe" for mfm and you just confirmed that guys hope after seeing your lovely picture. So again in mobile you are hidden for "no single guys," put it in your about us and uncheck mfm. :) pps you're pretty so that helps what can I say.
There are alot of us that do take the time to read. It can be tough when someone decides to write their whole life story, because its alot of info to get through to know what they want. But the last thing I want to do is piss someone off because I missed reading their preferences. I believe that the majority of us read them, that's why you don't get more than you do.
There are people in this world that look at the pictures in our profiles, before they read the text. Perhaps most people do. Some send a friend request right away. Really, isn’t that a compliment? Yes, they sent us the request, but we are responsible for how we react. If Jenna Jameson lost sleep thinking about all the dudes who beat off watching her work, who she wouldn’t fuck in a million years, and or a million dollars, she wouldn’t have become an ikon of porn. Well we aren’t here to be porn stars, but some of us are here to make some connections and enjoy some adventures. So we put our best foot, and maybe some of the rest of our anatomy forward and people react.

With that said, having worked on the road as a musician, in what seems like a former life, and having been around a lot of musicians, who tend to have egos and insecurities and opinions, I got used to putting myself out there. People who enjoy what you do make it worthwhile and exciting. You won’t enjoy the wonder if you worry about the critics. Our worst critics are going to be those who see this as a competition. Forget about all of that. When you’re on stage, and girls in the first few rows are showing you their boobs who gives a fuck about the ones that think you suck. Who gives a fuck about your critics. Mrs. Delicious, finds that the online vetting process puts a hamper on her enjoyment. She enjoys a readers digest version of who, what and where our adventure together might include. I shift through the obvious rude mismatches and searching for a clue sorts. Life is too short. Better to roll around in a pile of people you connect with than to worry about the rest.
This is a subject that gets complained about on all the swinger sites...other don't read the profiles. We think everyone has different motives for being on the site. Lots of these folks want to look and not read, who cares why they do it but they do. You can block single males on this site even though they will still friend you. Some folks don't communicate well and just want to see if they think your hot.

Wet is right who cares what motivates others. We rad the profiles and look at the pics and if we think we maybe interested we communicate in an email. It sounds so conventional but it works and when it doesn't we just move on. Life is too short and we have too much to do to let this trivial part of life be an issue of concern.

Swinging and the lifestyle for us is much more enjoyable without concerns about who is not reading our profile.
Well said Deliciouslywet and Skicouple. We very much agree with your comments.
Yup.
Yup, same issue
Playingforfun801 wrote:

So you put all this info on your profile and it like nobody reads it. No blind request then bam you get a bunch. No single males bam they blind friend request you. We think that we have made things clear on the profile but I don't think people take the time to read them. Guess all they want is just pictures. So just asking if everyone has the same problem? Ok rant over. Lol


You're not alone. The members worth one's time tend to read and send a note before friend requesting.
Blind friend request us all day...we don't care, we can't read anyway. :(
I believe certain personalities are going to read your profile and certain ones aren't. It's kind of what makes the world go round. We do read profiles before ever sending out a friend request. We are looking for a connection too, so making sure that there is something we would do so on is important to us. I don't like when someone doesn't have anything in their profile, only has one picture in their public pics, or doesn't fill out the Q&A. HOWEVER, this is OUR preference.. I think no matter where you go you will have a little bit of both. :)
Lol. If someone’s profile is as or more interesting than mine then ya... people will read and very often say something from or about what they saw...
lesson of the day... if they are not reading... then you didn’t make it interesting enough. Lol. Just kidding but I am not sure how we can tell the other member didn’t read.. maybe they just don’t care. Who knows.
While it's certainly possible that someone has, indeed, read a profile and "...maybe they just don't care.", I think most people, by default, will assume that the person in question simply didn't bother to read their profile if they are contacted by someone or about some type of play/situation that they explicitly request in their profile NOT to be contacted by or about. And I think that's a pretty safe assumption.

Also, I think it would be rather odd that someone would care enough to actually READ a profile but subsequently NOT care enough to abide by the wishes or guidelines stated in the very same profile. And, if that was indeed the case then wouldn't it be a passive-aggressive, dick-move, to just ignore what they had read and contact the people/person anyway? Either way, they absolutely deserve to be blocked or, perhaps, tied to a chair, naked, and forced to watch the movie "Frozen" over and over and over again.

https://i.gifer.com/SSN4.gif
We are not going to hit it off we everyone in the lifestyle. Maybe the way we can look at the online digital incompatibility discoveries, that come our way, is that they may keep us from wasting time meeting up with people with whom, nothing will or should ever happen. Blind friend request don't impress us, the same way a well written email might, but they are not a end game event. We will read their profile. Who knows?
Hell yes! What's even more annoying is when we actually put in our profile that we don't want people to send us a friend's request without a message to go with it and yet, the majority of the request we get do not send us a message. We are very real and particular so our profile has specific things we are looking for and I can always tell when someone sends us a message but hasn't read our profile because I go check out their profile and we aren't looking for the same things at all. Very frustrating but we do have the occasional couple who are real and took the time to read our stuff, so for that, thanks peeps!
I believe the ones who just send the blind request are just after the pictures. The part that kills me is we stated if u send a blind request we will just delete it, so that gets them nowhere anyways. I just think it's simple just to say hello and give a little info. Takes a few seconds to it.
We get a lot of “always wanted to do a asian” when can i come over and fuck
your wife!!!
Even though profile says wife will meet you but doesn’t play
They look at pictures but don’t read profile
Also get blind request from out of state
I will always try and check the interested section and see if they want single males.
I think it’s even worse when they drop a little note of interest and you grant a friend request and never hear from them again. I wish there was a better way to keep in touch other than the messaging available. I.E. a working and active chat room.
We used to meet a lot more people and get to know a little more about them in chat.