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Swingers Forum - Thank you Lifestyle.

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Thanksgiving just passed us by and Xmas and the New Year are quickly approaching. I thought I would take a long moment of my time, and your time if you are reading this, to tell this massive entity, called the "Lifestyle" how it has changed me this year.
We have been in the Lifestyle for a little over a year and a half. We don't even like the name lifestyle. We prefer "kinky" or "adventurous" or even just "fun as hell", but it seems the term will be around for awhile longer. The wife and I often ponder what exactly the Lifestyle is. Is it a certain set of rules and guidelines that we all live in? Is it the same for us as it is for everyone else? How often does it hurt marriage or relationships and how often does it help? Do we regret our decision to enter into it?
When we first tip-toed into the waters we were intimidated, in awe and totally unprepared for what we would experience. It all seemed magical and sometimes scary. We have and had a great marriage and thought we wanted a new, kinky adventure together. We planned to go slow and we would be fine, we were certain. But we were nervous. We were so sloshed at our first Sinful party that we irritated a few people there, no doubt, and probably made asses of ourselves. We still do that sometimes, but now we do it conscientiously. But we grew and learned quickly and have morphed into what we are today (huge asses).
Interestingly enough, a few years before we entered the LS, we thought swingers were all gross, dirty, sexually infected people ( I am still not ruling some of you out). We had met a couple that harassed us at every opportunity and were the "creepy" type. Now we know people may think of us the same way if they found out, which is sad, because we like to be honest and open with all of our friends. So, like many of you, it is a secret we keep. It is a trade off for doing what we do.
So what have I learned? How have I changed? I have always been a non-judgmental person by most standards, but still I had strong opinions about certain things. One spouse, one partner; that is how it should be done. So what changed? First off, our communication started to blossom about all sorts of things once my wife left her religion. I won't mention names, but it begins with an L and ends in DS. We talked and talked and talked and the more we talked the more we realized that we both had kinky minds and that maybe we should "experiment". So, we made some rules, actually a LOT of rules, and entered the ring. Still thinking one spouse, one partner, but maybe, just maybe we could play in the same room as other people. How kinky is that? Hence our name...sameroomonly. Well, as some of you know, the lifestyle is a monstrous, living, breathing beast and can quickly drag you to places you never thought possible. We made some mistakes, had some great times and just fumbled our way through for a few months trying to figure out where our lines were and what we should or shouldn't do. Then we got smart. We learned to communicate again, like we used to do privately, only now we could do it with other people around. And it was refreshing. No more secret code words (well, sometimes) and no more wondering if what one of us was doing was not condoned by the other. So that is the first thing I think the LS has helped us with. Communication. We communicate like mother fuckers. Better than all of our non-lifestyle friends, for the most part. Are we always amazing and never have bumps? Of course not. Anyone who says they never have drama are either liars or delusional. So thank you lifestyle for our ability to exchange ideas and to be more honest with each other, always.
The next thing we found was that we were making friends at a very fast pace. We made a kik group and had our first party with about 40 people up in Park City only 5 or so months after joining the website. It was a blast. We still host parties and invite new people all the time. We enjoy introducing new friends with old friends. Wait, did I say friends or fuck buddies? Don't we sleep with all of our friends? Isn't that the expectation? Not for us. We have made friends that we know will be around until we are all old and gray. We have lost friends because we wouldn't fuck. There are whole discussions on these forums about how some just want to meet and fuck, because this is a swinging site, not a friend site. And to each their own. We don't judge, but for us the rewards of our friendships have far outweighed the 10 or 20 seconds of amazing sex. We have friends around the world that we never would have met without the LS. So to the lifestyle, I say thank you for all of the wonderful friends we have made. Love you all, some more than others ( you know who I am talking about). :)
The LS has also taught me to be less judgmental and to avoid using words like "never" or "always". Life is full of gray areas and has lost much of its black and white features. Oh sure, I still judge, have preferences and prejudices, but we all do. I just really believe in walking in another's shoes before I make any decisions about someone's life. So lifestyle, thank you for making me more understanding of other people.
Last of all, I just want to say that the sexual journey has been amazing. We have shared many hot, sexy and intimate times with some of you and we have come to realize how similar we all are. We all like sex, we all have a kinky side, or else we wouldn't be here. I have done things that I never imagined would ever happen, with some of the sexiest, most beautiful people I have ever met. I have shared intimate moments with people I care deeply about and others that were just passing through. All have their high points. I have experienced more than most people would even dream about, as have most of you. We are the select who choose to follow our dreams and fantasies. I think we are fortunate. So lifestyle, thank you for all the amazing sex.
In the end the lifestyle is different for everyone. It is a whole sub universe in the middle of a "normal" society. Sometimes we have to walk among the shadows to keep our secret, but totally worth it. I would never trade the LS for my wonderful marriage and think I am the luckiest man alive to be married to my beautiful, amazing wife who has shared this journey with me. Love you, Babe.
As with everything in life, there will be people who read this and like it, some who don't care and some who disagree or will want to pick it to pieces. That is what makes this amazing. There are so many wonderful, different people and the lifestyle is a perfect diving board to jump into the sea of waiting bodies and personalities. So if you are new, jump in, explore and learn. If you are old school, help others to weather the bumps and keep exploring. Long live the lifestyle.
That is a little about my journey, how about you? I encourage anyone to add what they think or feel the LS has done for them, even negative things. Merry xmas to everyone and hope to meet some of you new people. And to my friends, I care about each and every one of you.
The Mr.
That was an excellent post! We do not have much to add. This could have been easily written by us. Our experience is almost word for word identical, from wife's upbringing, to enhancing our relationship. It was already a great marriage to begin with! We have greatly enjoyed, and met some amazing people along the way! Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Perfect!
Beautifully worded. I think so many of us can relate, whether single or couple. Most come into the LS with expectations they're apprehensive about realizing. Thank you for sharing, you two!
Very beautiful. We can't believe what this new journey and lifestyle has brought into our lives. We feel we can relate to your story, learn from it, and get excited for what's still in store. Can't wait to meet all of you out there.
That post fucking nailed it!!! Great write up!! Happy Holidays to you all... Cheers!!
You two are a class act. great post.... Looking forward to spending more time with you in 2017
Thanks everyone for your private PM's and your feedback. Can't wait to see more of you all this year.
Wow!

Congrats to you both on an amazing journey!
May it continue to enrich you!

And may you continue to be who you are!

Jay ;)
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That was a well written post. Thank You for sharing your thoughts. We would agree with everything you listed. Like others have said we could have written the same things.
We have only been in the LS for less than one year and what a difference it has made for both of us. We can look at the past and dream about how good our future looks. We too have made a few friends that if it were not for the LS we would have never met. We have enjoyed what the LS can bring but so true that the friendships made are the closest. We too feel lucky to have a marriage that is more real, only LS can say this for we have tested the kinky side but yet can live the real side.
Nailed it. And thanx for your friendship and helping us ease into the LS
Beautiful and well written post! Thank you for taking the time to write and share! It's really encouraging for those of us just starting out to hear such a positive experience. We're really hoping to be able to write something similar down the road.
Evil, always funny. I forgot about that aspect of the LS as well. We have always been aware of our bodies and health, but the LS certainly has a way of making you put down that bag of Doritos and picking up a carrot. So Lifestyle, thank you for improving my health and fitness. On the other hand, piss off for making me stay up until 6 in the morning and forsaking sleep for fun and raucous behavior. haha.
Snoefun, I'm not sure we eased you in. More like throwing you into the frying pan.

We are probably going to the Sinful party this Saturday. Hope to see some of your new faces their and to see some of our friends.
To everyone else, thanks for the nice comments.
On another note, I received an email about how the Lifestyle should be more about sex and less about friendships and long term relationships. I know there are people out there who feel this way, and we don't judge our way as being more correct. Everybody has their own way of looking at the lifestyle, their goals and what should or shouldn't happen. For us, it changes. Sometimes we are more about just wanting to play a bit, but most of the time we truly enjoy the people we meet. We are definitely not against crazy and wild times and don't judge those who just want to meet over a drink and then head to a hotel. But for us, it isn't really what we are looking for. We have definitely had people turn us away because we wouldn't give a guarantee to fuck them. They didn't want to waste their time with us if play wasn't involved. No hard feelings on our part. We get it. Maybe some people are just too busy to make friends and want to spend every free spare moment having sex. No worries. Some of you new kids on the block will experience this scenario. My advice is go with what makes YOU comfortable and with what YOU want. There will be plenty of other opportunities. But no way is the right way. There is no one way to be in the lifestyle. At least that is how we feel.
And since I seem to have all the answers, please feel free to contact me for any advice. lol. jk, of course.
SAMEROOMONLY wrote:

Thanksgiving just passed us by and Xmas and the New Year are quickly approaching. I thought I would take a long moment of my time, and your time if you are reading this, to tell this massive entity, called the "Lifestyle" how it has changed me this year.
We have been in the Lifestyle for a little over a year and a half. We don't even like the name lifestyle. We prefer "kinky" or "adventurous" or even just "fun as hell", but it seems the term will be around for awhile longer. The wife and I often ponder what exactly the Lifestyle is. Is it a certain set of rules and guidelines that we all live in? Is it the same for us as it is for everyone else? How often does it hurt marriage or relationships and how often does it help? Do we regret our decision to enter into it?
When we first tip-toed into the waters we were intimidated, in awe and totally unprepared for what we would experience. It all seemed magical and sometimes scary. We have and had a great marriage and thought we wanted a new, kinky adventure together. We planned to go slow and we would be fine, we were certain. But we were nervous. We were so sloshed at our first Sinful party that we irritated a few people there, no doubt, and probably made asses of ourselves. We still do that sometimes, but now we do it conscientiously. But we grew and learned quickly and have morphed into what we are today (huge asses).
Interestingly enough, a few years before we entered the LS, we thought swingers were all gross, dirty, sexually infected people ( I am still not ruling some of you out). We had met a couple that harassed us at every opportunity and were the "creepy" type. Now we know people may think of us the same way if they found out, which is sad, because we like to be honest and open with all of our friends. So, like many of you, it is a secret we keep. It is a trade off for doing what we do.
So what have I learned? How have I changed? I have always been a non-judgmental person by most standards, but still I had strong opinions about certain things. One spouse, one partner; that is how it should be done. So what changed? First off, our communication started to blossom about all sorts of things once my wife left her religion. I won't mention names, but it begins with an L and ends in DS. We talked and talked and talked and the more we talked the more we realized that we both had kinky minds and that maybe we should "experiment". So, we made some rules, actually a LOT of rules, and entered the ring. Still thinking one spouse, one partner, but maybe, just maybe we could play in the same room as other people. How kinky is that? Hence our name...sameroomonly. Well, as some of you know, the lifestyle is a monstrous, living, breathing beast and can quickly drag you to places you never thought possible. We made some mistakes, had some great times and just fumbled our way through for a few months trying to figure out where our lines were and what we should or shouldn't do. Then we got smart. We learned to communicate again, like we used to do privately, only now we could do it with other people around. And it was refreshing. No more secret code words (well, sometimes) and no more wondering if what one of us was doing was not condoned by the other. So that is the first thing I think the LS has helped us with. Communication. We communicate like mother fuckers. Better than all of our non-lifestyle friends, for the most part. Are we always amazing and never have bumps? Of course not. Anyone who says they never have drama are either liars or delusional. So thank you lifestyle for our ability to exchange ideas and to be more honest with each other, always.
The next thing we found was that we were making friends at a very fast pace. We made a kik group and had our first party with about 40 people up in Park City only 5 or so months after joining the website. It was a blast. We still host parties and invite new people all the time. We enjoy introducing new friends with old friends. Wait, did I say friends or fuck buddies? Don't we sleep with all of our friends? Isn't that the expectation? Not for us. We have made friends that we know will be around until we are all old and gray. We have lost friends because we wouldn't fuck. There are whole discussions on these forums about how some just want to meet and fuck, because this is a swinging site, not a friend site. And to each their own. We don't judge, but for us the rewards of our friendships have far outweighed the 10 or 20 seconds of amazing sex. We have friends around the world that we never would have met without the LS. So to the lifestyle, I say thank you for all of the wonderful friends we have made. Love you all, some more than others ( you know who I am talking about). :)
The LS has also taught me to be less judgmental and to avoid using words like "never" or "always". Life is full of gray areas and has lost much of its black and white features. Oh sure, I still judge, have preferences and prejudices, but we all do. I just really believe in walking in another's shoes before I make any decisions about someone's life. So lifestyle, thank you for making me more understanding of other people.
Last of all, I just want to say that the sexual journey has been amazing. We have shared many hot, sexy and intimate times with some of you and we have come to realize how similar we all are. We all like sex, we all have a kinky side, or else we wouldn't be here. I have done things that I never imagined would ever happen, with some of the sexiest, most beautiful people I have ever met. I have shared intimate moments with people I care deeply about and others that were just passing through. All have their high points. I have experienced more than most people would even dream about, as have most of you. We are the select who choose to follow our dreams and fantasies. I think we are fortunate. So lifestyle, thank you for all the amazing sex.
In the end the lifestyle is different for everyone. It is a whole sub universe in the middle of a "normal" society. Sometimes we have to walk among the shadows to keep our secret, but totally worth it. I would never trade the LS for my wonderful marriage and think I am the luckiest man alive to be married to my beautiful, amazing wife who has shared this journey with me. Love you, Babe.
As with everything in life, there will be people who read this and like it, some who don't care and some who disagree or will want to pick it to pieces. That is what makes this amazing. There are so many wonderful, different people and the lifestyle is a perfect diving board to jump into the sea of waiting bodies and personalities. So if you are new, jump in, explore and learn. If you are old school, help others to weather the bumps and keep exploring. Long live the lifestyle.
That is a little about my journey, how about you? I encourage anyone to add what they think or feel the LS has done for them, even negative things. Merry xmas to everyone and hope to meet some of you new people. And to my friends, I care about each and every one of you.
The Mr.



All of life is an adventure we live at the moment, and relive introspectively, over and over again. If the reexamination of our life experiences leads us toward insight and positive personal epiphanies, in so much that our day to day, in the moment life experiences, become more dear and vivid, augmenting upward and forward into the future, then can we not count ourselves lucky indeed?

If we are healthy, we want to be embraced, emotionally, socially and sexually. If the "lifestyle" can help to afford us the fulfillment of these desires, will it not lead to enhancement of our happiness, and growth individually and as a couple if we are partnered? Will the experience make us more proficient and giving lovers? Can it make us better people?
"All of life is an adventure we live at the moment, and relive introspectively, over and over again. If the reexamination of our life experiences leads us toward insight and positive personal epiphanies, in so much that our day to day, in the moment life experiences, become more dear and vivid, augmenting upward and forward into the future, then can we not count ourselves lucky indeed?

If we are healthy, we want to be embraced, emotionally, socially and sexually. If the "lifestyle" can help to afford us the fulfillment of these desires, will it not lead to enhancement of our happiness, and growth individually and as a couple if we are partnered? Will the experience make us more proficient and giving lovers? Can it make us better people?"

Well put DeliciouslyWet
So perfect! Thank you so much for sharing your experience. We are both really new to the lifestyle, as well and have met some of the most amazing people as a result and couldn't agree more with you.
You had me at Boba Fett. It was so fun and almost magical being new to the lifestyle. Enjoy that new journey and all the excitement. You will be jaded soon enough. haha.
In regards to Boba Fett, I guess we can all understand why Hans shot prematurely.
bwahahahahaha. I think it might be the reason Old Ben's lightsaber was already up and ready when the dude attacked Luke.
Couldn't agree more guys, super happy to have the lifestyle in our relationship and to have such amazing friends!!! ;) Much loves to you both! Xoxo
And it just gets better and better. Thanks for the loves, Z&D.
xoxo
Very good you guys. Fucking brought tears to my eyes as I remember being so scared the first meet and greet at habits we went to years ago and then after getting a bit brave, thanks to the amazing hosts, finding amazing friends and adventures. (I have been shooting vodkda so maybe my soft side is showing a bit)

I now laugh about being so hard on single males when I was a couple in the lifestyle and now finding myself being the dreaded singe male. But even being a single male showing a little respect to the couples that your meet and not thinking you are the end all be all goes a long way.

This whole experience has taught me the amazement of each individual and that instead of looking in the mirror trying to get my hair (or as the years progress lack of) in just exactly the right place I look at the individuals that surround me and I find that each one is really amazing and interesting.

Thanks all for this opportunity.

Robert
Good post. Thanks. It is all a journey.
SAMEROOMONLY wrote:

Good post. Thanks. It is all a journey.


Indeed it is...indeed it is.

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https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/e3/1d/28/e31d2826df23abbab8aeb2c97e8c8573.jpg

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Thanks Lifestyle!

Although, we are not totally wild & into the lifestyle, especially here in good old conservative Utah...we are definitely having a fun time!

For us, the lifestyle represents a great way to meet other classy, sexy, fun, fit, upscale couples with an exciting edge that makes conversation and interaction with each other so much more interesting.

For us, this is really about FRIENDSHIP first. If anything else were to happen it would be considered a bonus, but certainly not expected. However, if the 4 way chemistry & attraction is there...lookout, the benefits can be amazing.
I have been reading a lot of forums as I am very new to the ls and enjoy the comments of deliciouslywet. It is always respectful and insightful. It is also very nice to see a positive post about the ls. I am still figuring things out so I turn to forums to enlighten me.
Ms UTSKIER.