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Holt Swingers in Florida

Holt Swingers

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This lifestyle - What are we really? - MORDON: Huh?? Wow...no easy task to consolidate concepts as broad and inclusive as swinging and/or polyamory into neat little boxes. I'm still trying to follow how you grouped the two into polar opposites. I'm not sure that the way you're defining either of those would be true for the majority of those in the swinging communities, and especially not Sirensextress or myself. If I have the ability to to love more than one person...then yes, I suppose I am polyamorous, but NOT in the same way that a couple who is truly polyamorous might view it (I do love not just one but all my children/siblings and whatnot). You've painted a rather bleak and harsh picture of us non-polyamorists, by boldly stating that swingers are, "friends with benefits....True swinging is having sex just for the sake of having sex. No talking ...no getting to know each other...not caring one iota about the other person. Basically have sex and if the other person dies on the way home ...who give gives a shit!" That statement is well, to put it bluntly, naive and uninformed. We've never engaged in sex without talking, or getting to know one another. How else would we know if there's any chemistry? We care greatly for most of the people we've encountered through swinging, and would most CERTAINLY care if they died on the way home! In short...we "give a shit"! I think in it's broadest sense, the term "swinging" is large enough to cater to the appetites of a wide spectrum of people, from those that are inclined to polyamory, to those that prefer to fuck 'em and leave 'em, to those that are the swinging wannabe's, to those that are exclusive. We are by no means polyamorous, but yes, we've run into couples that are in the truest sense of the word, poly. In fact, we've met couples that have wanted us to participate in the poly lifestyle. However, they are looking for something quite different that what we are looking for. Neither my wife nor myself are looking to be "married" to another couple, or to become a "secondary" husband/wife to them. Yet, being the "non-polyamorists" that we are, and according to your definition, we should be unable able to maintain very close friendships with any other swingers. Actually...our experiences have been quite the opposite. Most of our closest friends have come out of The Lifestyle. Do we love them? Yep. Have/are we sexually intimate with them? Yep. Are we romanticaly involved, exclusive and IN love with them? No. Do we love them like family? Yep. Are we polyamorous? No. Does this just boil down semantics? Yes..probably. However I felt compelled to speak on behalf of those of us that actually do care about the people that we meet through the lifestyle. Cuz we DO give a shit and we're NOT the cold-hearted people we've been made out to be! :)

We have heard about it many times........... - Couples that are swingers - TG.. Very well said darlin.... We talk so much and have gotten so much closser .... Open and honest with eachother always...

Why do they run? - Why do most couples run when you suggest a real full swap? - I am certain that insecurity has no bearing on the decisions that we make in regard to the lifestyle. What you are suggesting simply isnt for us. We take so much from being in close proximity to each other during our encounters that it would render the experience...perhaps ackward or fruitless, for lack of a better term. There is a reason that so many couples run from the possibility of what you call \"full swap\". Many years ago when we were first introduced to the lifestyle, \"full swap\" entailed having sexual intercourse with another couple. \"Soft swap\" meant oral play or touching only, no intercourse. Perhaps the deffinition has changed over the years... I am certain that what you are describing is closer to what traditional polyamory is all about. In fact, there is a reason why the couples that you approach about this subject \"run like the wind\" as you call it. More times than not, it has proven to be destructive to the relationships in question. Best intentions or not, we are all human. Shit happens. Most seasoned swingers know this, and avoid this situation at all costs. Most of the relationships that we have seen over the years that were as you describe ended in ruin. Most of the people that we have known to consider this method were (coincidentally) new swingers, who had not yet developed a sense of direction or an identity in the lifestyle. There are some mistakes that you can make in the lifestlye without jeopadizing your standing with your mate. There are some that you simply can not. What you are suggesting to other couples, while it may seem like something that would be fun and cool, has proven to be atleast problematic to many other people. Just our .02 cents. Best of luck to you both. Luvbugs! (mR.) :D

Cruise in May - Anybody going on this same one by chance - My Wife and I are going on a cruise the week of May 12th out of Long Beach to Catalina Islands and Ensenada Mexico on Carnival... we were wondering if there are other swingers going to be on that one by chance. We are also going with another couple in the LS, the more the merrier right?

Swingers - Looking for colorado swingers - Awesome thank you

Friend collectors or swingers - - We are play oriented for sure but appreciate there are those who are not as much and then sometimes the chemistry just isn't there for everyone. It will be easier to meet in the coming months for sure when more people are vaccinated and are less concerned about big gatherings. Then I think you will see less "friend collection" and more conversations with intent to move forward going on.

Jewellery, logos, etc to identify other swingers - We would like info on websites catering to discreet items to let others "know" we are in the lifestyle - SDC has a pennant cufflink or pennant on a chain when you join. so if anyone from the website see's it they will know you are a members. M

Are swingers moral? - Who determines what morals are? - [quote=HELLO_KITTY12984]I figure that the golden rule, kharma, and working to better myself as a whole are good morals and make me moral and whatever. lulz. And as far as people thinking morals making you a good person... pretty sure you can be a good person with or without god. :P[/quote] We have to agree with Kitty! We know that we live a moral life and we have nothing to fear from kharma. If only more people would only live by, "Do unto others..."

What about the lifestyle didn't meet your expectations? - Preconceptions and disappointment. - I'm home bored, so stop here if you don't want to read a bunch of shite. lol. I think we both entered the lifestyle with some preconceived notions of what the people in the LS would be like, but that was mostly from our limited experience with being vanilla and having LS peeps try to hit on us. It just seemed creepy, desperate and gross at the time. We assumed most of the players would be super aggressive, ready to fuck anyone and have zero interest in relationships outside of sex. Our initial entry was simply to watch and be watched. We quickly learned that there are just as many wonderful people in the LS as out of it. Maybe more. There will always be the outliers, the few percentage on each end of the spectrum that are more extreme, but that happens in any population. Overall, it was a happy surprise. So that would be a negative expectation that wasn't met. As far as things we were hoping would happen or expectation that weren't met, we have very few. But we also went into the labyrinth without really expecting or assuming anything. I don't think we were naive enough to think that this segment of the population was somehow immune from the social characteristics that reveal themselves in any other social class or group. You will always have the "cool kids" the "shy people" the "jocks" the "geeks" the people who classify themselves as the "pity party" and blame the world for their problems. Those things will exist anywhere and should. Swingers are a diverse group of people with a few, maybe very few, common goals. Those goals I think are to meet others with social deviancy and those interested in expanding their sexual experiences or simply to meet new friends. Swinging, in itself, doesn't solidify your beliefs in anything else (politics, food preferences, choice of travel location, or even how or what you are looking for as swingers). I think that is where expectations can fail. If a person goes into a situation thinking, "I/we think "x" so everyone else must think "x" as well", they are bound to be disappointed. I've said this a lot of times, the lifestyle is not black and white. Life isn't black and white. There will be frustrations around every turn if you allow yourself to be duped into thinking your way of thinking is more than just your viewpoint, that it is universal to everyone. I see people complaining of flakes, people who meet once then run away, etc. That's how they roll. That's their truth. It's what they are comfortable with or wanting and who am I to judge. That being said, I don't have to associate with them and hopefully learn how to avoid that situation or become more efficient at finding people with similar interests. The lifestyle is work. Sometimes a lot of work. I think it's foolish to think that it should be easy to find 4 people who all jive. Think about how many people you have dated before settling on the right one for you. And to assume that somehow changes in the lifestyle and that after chatting on kik for a few weeks then meeting over drinks will somehow magically connect you. Ugh. Sometimes it happens. Sometimes not. But I wouldn't expect it. For others, the thought of any connection past the one-nighter is absurd. Why would you want to make friends with your fuck-buddies? It may be too risky and cause too many emotions. Point is, we are all different and that is what makes the journey so beautiful. And, just a note about flakes, since it is a recurrent theme. Yes, maybe there are more flakes in the lifestyle, but I'm guessing it's specifically related to the nature of the LS. Swinging for some can be very intimidating and frightening. Sometimes the chase is much more fun than the fucking. Not excusing them that do flake, it seems a problem for sure, but I think I understand, at least in part, why it happens so much. There is so much social pressure not to be in the lifestyle and most were brought up without it being the normal way to live. So society is telling us we are wrong, gross, deviant, etc. Add to that the fear of actually getting naked and fucking someone else and it can cause a lot of anxiety in some. When we first started we were petrified to even go the parties thinking it was going to be a fuck/rape fest. lol. Turned out we were wrong but it was a learning process. Lastly, if you are already treading carefully and the couple/person you are supposed to be meeting gives off any bad vibes, maybe flaking is best. It's hard not to hurt someone's feelings and honesty isn't always what happens. I know we have been honest with couples and it turned into a shit-show. Why don't you like us? If you only meet us and give us a chance we can prove we are wonderful. Other's like us, why don't you. It's hard to be honest at times about why there isn't a connection. May flaking be a way to spare feelings? I don't know. There are probably a plethora (Hefe, do you know what a plethora is?)of reasons people flake and some of those my be that they are just douches. But likely there are other people that aren't and are just trying to get out of a situation they are unfamiliar with. Avoid the douches but maybe give those others a second chance. Evil: always good topics you bring to the table. So you think because people like sex they should be good at it? I know a lot of people who love food but suck at cooking. haha. Maybe having too many options on the table can also make people lazy. I don't have to try hard if I know tomorrow is another partner. To some it's the quantity and not the quality. But I can see why the expectation would be there. All in all we really have no complaints. It's been a fascination journey. Some ups, some downs, but always and adventure. We will keep our expectations low, both of ourselves and those around us. Less disappointment that way. I'm going back to sitting in my underwear, drinking a beer and watching TV. Zero expectations. haha. :) Mr. SRO

Peta....are you a fan? - Their "State of the Union" message. - LMAO.....SLOWHAND311... this little fugger is quick on the draw! "I can fight fire with fire and give this stooge a taste of his own medicine" Donald, I really don't post on this forum much , it's about 2-years behind what is considered "Acceptable" behavior In (Other Swingers Forum) you would be beaten like a red haired step child for forcing us to down load your Prince hair doo over and over.

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