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Slowing Things Down - An argument for taking your time. - That's a lot.... did ya'll cramp up typing this? Whew !
On the topic, we are always friends first... it makes the actual play much better ( in our own humble opinion )
[quote=DELICIOUSLYWET]A nice, slow, buildup might be ideal. In the vanilla world, the buildup often begins long before the first date. You meet a co-worker, or a fellow student, or someone who you see at the coffee shop, and there is some immediate attraction, and eventually you connect on a more physical level. If we are hoping to make those sort of connections, within the swinging lifestyle community, then we are going to have to find a way to run into lifestyle people frequently, and casually. If there is no, or limited opportunities to just run into swingers, enough to build relationships like that, then the way we end up meeting is through dating. If you are swiping right and you are vanilla dating, online, if there is shared chemistry and attraction, you will have a second date and so on and so forth. If the chemistry is super hot, even in the vanilla world, people sometimes fuck on the first date. If the sexual intimacy was superb, that might just accelerate the depth of the shared communications, the amount, and the quality of the time together. The way we see it, if there is some super hot chemistry, on a swinging date, if sexual intimacy happens, the same sort of acceleration in the relationship might happen. It might not. If it doesn't and the sex was good, well, good sex beats mowing the lawn.
For us, we raised five kids, who all grew up to be happy, healthy successful adults. All but one of our kids have significant others. Some have kids, which makes us grandparents. Our kids and our grandkids, really like us, love us, and we really like and love them, so we spend a lot of time together. We have friends from work and friends from the neighborhood, and we have jobs. Seriously, dating, at the level we dated, when we were wooing each other, in terms of time, well we just don't have it. If non-monogamy was the openly celebrated norm, and friends openly fucked each other, as a normal part of a friendship, then we would all just naturally end up in those sorts of relationships. Well, except the assholes. Assholes don't flow into meaningful relationships. They take advantage of people's vulnerabilities and loneliness. Manipulation isn't friendship. Demanding people, who wish to break you into the vision of their expectations don't want to be your friend. No give, just take. You'll never be able to give them enough. You owe them nothing, and yet, they will shame you for not giving them exactly what they want when they want it. If we can all just avoid the assholes, then what we do get to share with good caring people, is a privilege and for lack of a better term, a blessing. Good people, reaching out, accept and defend each other's vulnerabilities, even if that means some disappointment and patience, and that takes an honest caring person. Sexual desire honestly expressed is surrounded with vulnerability, and romance even more. I changed subjects there for a moment. Since what swingers do is considered taboo, as a social norm, then that leaves dating. Let's face it. Dating is hit and miss, when it comes to making a lasting connection. When four people are involved dating becomes maybe a bit more complicated. We are not apposed to the slow burn buildup. If we meet someone and there is a spark, that is the motivation. If there really is a nice shared spark, and they want to jump ahead and build the fire, we probably won't say no. [/quote]
C- A - Any swingers clubs around Salt lake? - I know many years ago there were a couple places swingers used to attend are there any bars around Salt Lake City that still accommodate the lifestyle?
We have heard about it many times........... - Couples that are swingers - Thank you Silent Scorp!!!!! You guys are so sweet!!! You two are awesome.
A&E New show about swingers... - neighbors with benefits.... - [quote=SWINGAIRS][quote=KIDSATPLAY]Why would any industry sponsor shows about the positive side of Swinging? I doubt there is any big money in promoting the swing lifestyle any more than there is profit to singing the praises of plural marriage. The vice industry might even suffer financially should swinging really catch on. This is a lifestyle that must eat the crumbs that fall from the gay lesbian table to acquire any "me to" acceptance. It seems like social and financial suicide for the deep pockets.[/quote]
They had a swinger pride parade in new Orleans this year. Maybe in 20 years we can have a table too.[/quote]Except that's a false equivalency; swinging is a choice people make. No one is born as a swinger. This is like comparing wearing contacts to having green eyes; one chooses to wear contacts, one doesn't choose to be born w/ green eyes.
Swingers - Looking for colorado swingers - Awesome thank you
Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - Bunny,
Pelvis gave it away eh?
J&J,
Let's hang soon.
-D-
Couples Copulating - How the hell do ya match up? - We must be very lucky I guess. We've only been around since April and we strictly play with couples or a group. Both the guy and gal need to be accepted by both of us, and yes it's a hard combo to find. Even in a group situation we need to feel ok with EVERYONE involved. So for us that has meant we go to A LOT of parties and put ourselves out there and meet people. Because of that we have had several foursomes and even a couple eightsomes, and some of those have been repeats too. As we have met people we've found that we're actually doing pretty good as new swingers because we've found that a lot of people who play with only couples don't get to play too often. So we say try to get out a little more. It's numbers, the more you're out then the more chances you'll find exactly the combo you're looking for. We haven't compromised ourselves yet (taken one for the team) and don't plan on it. Your combo is out there, just gotta keep looking. (Take this advice for what it's worth coming from the new guy...lol)
Left Behind... - What to do with the... - Well its a pair of Fred Perry Boxer Shorts.. we think I\'m (Amanda) is just gonna used them as PJ\'s and if he wants them back he\'ll just have to come and take them! They\'d never fit Peter!
So I can see we need to amdend the swingers party rules..
\"Please do not leave your dirty laundry for the host to wash. If you feel your unable to keep track of your graments... please arrive nude!\"
LOL
Thanks guys.. Always so much fun posting here and see what people have to say.
A big shout out to the Swingular Community.. the best on the web!
Amanda & Peter
Game ON....which sign is Hornier...(is that a word?) - zodiac signs of swingers? - I have noticed so far that the couples that have scorpios, it is usualy the mrs. that is the scorpio....lol
I agree we are all horndogs!!
International Swingers Day - How are you celebrating? - Hopefully finding a bi-guy or bi-couple to spend the day with
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