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Reply or don't reply for requests to meet? - - Their emotional response probably has more to do with their over all experience with the lifestyle than to anything you said or didn't say did or didn't do. Here goes my thoughts.....
People have a hard time emotionally disconnecting. People can be irrational. Sometimes we do not know why the react as they do but then we do not know the back story. They, or we may be associating something they, or we said with a whole lot of experience that had nothing to do with our or their intent. Our primitive brain functions which include release of the chemicals that color emotions have full access to our prefrontal cortex where we have the power of reason. With all the reasoning capability our prefrontal cortex manifest, it has very, very little ability to turn off our more primitive brain. The pathways just are not there. So our primitive brain has full chemical access to our bodies and higher brain but our higher brains do not have equal access to alter our primitive brain and emotional responses. So we have an emotional reaction, which our reasoning cannot turn off, so in order to try and make our minds match the emotion we are feeling we alter our reasoning. It is called making a mountain out of a mole hill. This loss of reason manifests as irrational behavior and can lead to resentment and negative premeditations such as revenge and violence. Sex drive is emotionally charged. Sex chemicals defy reason more than most and so do the chemicals associated with anger. So the brain function design flaw can make the emotion verses reason imbalance more dramatic when sex is involved. Knowing that, Swingers should recognize that just because you feel angry it does not mean you should be angry. If you let negative emotions color your reason you may be acting irrationally. Drama, drama, drama is what you get. Our rational, reasonable minds are capable of unbelievable accomplishments. Through the scientific method we have cured many, many diseases, we fly all over the globe, we travel and live beyond our atmosphere and under the sea, we share and communicate with small hand held devices and we even form internet social groups that revolve around specific shared interest. The sphere of accomplishments is too long a list to name let alone full understand. No one person can understand or master one, one millionth of all that has to be learned and mastered to make all this happen. So we are capable of incomprehensible collaborative efforts. And yet, we fight and we bicker and we accuse and we are sometimes unreasonably suspicious.
Reason without emotion is perhaps safe but not much fun. We want to experience emotions with friends and lovers. The secret answer to successful social interaction almost seems to be to master the art of recognizing when something is positive and healthy and then let the flood gates open up jump in and be overwhelmed and if something is just not right to back off physically but to also emotionally disconnect.
The something that is just not right, that may be leading you into angry, sad, or fearful paths may be more within you than without as well. If what is inside you is ugly or afraid emotionally and you let that color your reason then that may be all you can see in people and the world without and you get caught in a vortex of anger or fear. People think they become emotional because of their paranoia but in fact they become paranoid because they were negatively emotional and then the paranoia fed the emotions and on and on.
I have attached a link to a video I found this week quite by accident that speaks to this and quite a bit more. For you that are into physics professionally or as amateurs, that will enjoy scrutinizing the math, as far as the math goes, to me I see where this is going but the statement is made
The Fun of the Chase - - I wouldn't even call it "the fun of the chase" as much as just liking to get to know people a little bit before jumping into the sack. I know there are plenty of swingers who really prefer no prelims of any kind and just getting down to the sex but that's not usually us.
For us there has to be an attraction on at least another level beyond simply physical attraction. Personality and being able to carry on a conversation are very important to both Ms. Evil and I. We much prefer to talk, at least a little bit, and get to know people a bit better and maybe flirt and tease and kid around a little bit. We find that it makes the sex a LOT hotter if we like you at least a little bit first. :-D
Can I say hello? - What to do in public - Really for us it depends on the people that recognize us and whether or not they have some common sense and are sensitive enough to be careful when necessary. If they are the type of people that can say hello in a public place and be friendly without flaunting their swingers insignia and secret handshake and singing the swingers theme song and such then we have no problem being approached in public. The local churches all have the ultra vocal keepers of the faith that have to define everyone and everything under the Johnny one note shallow interpretation of their religion because it is too terrifying and painful to be a whole complex person and therefore they live for the pats on the back that come from the endless recitations of their creed. There are people that become far too single minded in all sorts of pursuits including swinging that can become just as annoying and dangerous.
Where we are when you see us makes a difference too in what we consider appropriate. If we are in the grocery store or out to dinner with friends or family then saying hello is fine but we ask that anyone that approaches us please leave the swingers content completely out of what you say to us. Do not hit on us. Our friends and family know the two of us are busy and social and we both have friends as individuals and as a couple that we have met in a variety of ways so people say hello to us, which they do not know all the time anyway. Some people that we know are clients and so if we do not offer an explanation about how we know you, our family and friends assume it is probably from work. If we are at a bar and obviously looking playful and sexual in are demeanor and dress and you want to approach us fine, but even then be a bit discreet in your initial approach. If we are talking with someone or obviously with someone then be a bit discreet because we party with vanillas too. If they are people that we trust we probably won't care if they get a hint of what you and we might share in common. Many of our friends and even our family members know we are not always 100% monogamous and they also know we are multifaceted and involved in many things so non monogamy for us is only part of who we are and what we do and not a defining consuming aspect of our lives.
We tend to shy away from saying hello to people in public places that recognize as being in the lifestyle unless we already know them because we do not want to make anyone uncomfortable.
Tampa, Florida - Howl at the Moon, Channelside. July 1, 2006 - - Just curious as to who all is going to HOWL AT THE MOON IN CHANNELSIDE (Tampa) this Saturday night. Apparently there is a swingers meet and greet. We are soooo trying to get a sitter and would love to meet some people there. Send us an email if you ae going.
Your identity and security may be open. - access to profiles. - hey weguaranteeu where did the fat geek thread go?i wanted to reread it to see all your great spelling but i can not find the thread.did you delete it????????if some one changed your profile why have you left it there for all to see?you could have just as easily printed it or copied it to another page to save for evidence.hell you deleted your pictures.as i said before i do not know of any swinging site that want your ssn so grow up,take the lashing that you deserved for calling all male swingers fat geeks and move on.try to go to your happy place,take a chill pill and just relax.
Phil
Swingers - a couples only lifestyle? - Are singles considered to be swingers? - T4REAL69 is right on target in giving the current meaning of the term "swinger". SWMTCPL you used two little words in your original post that opened this thread, "to us". Those two little words accommodate for a lot of variation in this lifestyle. When you say "to us" you are telling everyone how you fit in the big picture of what the swinger lifestyle is. If you read another persons profile or listen to what the have to say as to what their desires and interest are, you know what this lifestyle means to them. If we are open minded enough to understand this, and don't try to force our beliefs on others, who have view's that differ from ours, we are genuine swingers. The most basic rule in swinging is NO MEANS NO. If you are confronted by someone who does not suit your desires, be it because of their looks, gender or the activity, you can always say NO, and go your own way in this lifestyle.
New Swingers Club in Utah - Gauging interest in new club - All, we've been trying to explore this idea for over a decade and there are many legal challenges. There is a public indecency law, even for private clubs. If you have a legal license, and you accept any amount of money, you fall within this law.
Trust us, we've been trying to figure this out ourselves as we've been wanting to create something. Right now, the safest avenues are private mansion parties and legal lifestyle friendly and/or off-premise clubs which we are starting to explore.
We've been trying to find a club to buy with an existing license for a while I now. If anyone has any prospects, let us know.
Rob
S#!% swingers say - - I don't know how many have seen the youtube video "Shit Swingers Say," but it's pretty funny.
I don't know if I can embed video on this forum, but I will try. If this doesn't work, just search youtube for "shit swingers say." You will laugh, or your money back!
Swinger & 🦄 Bait - An experiment to attract swingers and unicorns. - Rookie mistakes. It only works if you wear black rings on ALL your fingers...and on all your toes just to be safe. Oh, and maybe try someplace heathens are more likely to shop like Whole Foods or Trader Joes. Are you sure you were wearing your ankle braclet denoting that you're a hotwife (or hot husband as the case may be)? And Sunday afternoons ALL good swingers are home taking a nap after being up WAY too late the night before!
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Wouldn't hurt to throw a couple of packages of Magnum condoms in the cart either. Right on top where they're easily seen.
Is HABITS still the place to go? - - however if some of us pitched in on making club Edge an AWESOME swingers club that would be great!!!
The sound system is soooo high tech and sounds great. They have some of the top dj's in the area. completely awesome!!!
There is private area for conversation or VIP reasons and private booths.
It has a huge dance floor with lots of extra room to socialize. Huge back area for smoking and socializing too.Every party thrown there has been off the roof and sooooo much fun for everyone including all of the single people out there too.
The staff is soooooo nice and great with their customers. The drink prices are not to pricey and drinks taste very good with full flavor not watered down like some of the other bars.
May be worth looking into for more parties in the future?!!
