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Weeding through the real/ fakes - I wish there was a "validation " on profiles.. - [quote=sugarhouse2]PolyCouple, I think you're pointing to a cultural gap that we've also been frustrated with for years. We fall more into the independently open category, which puts us closer to the poly-lite and kink communities than the swinger community. We've found that a lot of swingers have the men negotiate the process and that's a huge turn off for us so we end up considering it a red flag in terms of what we're looking for. No judgement, it just clearly wouldn't work with our dynamic. We're free to talk to and do whatever we want with whomever we want. And we do. It's just different. But, in general, only hearing from the man does also make it hard to figure out if you're talking to a real couple or if there's true enthusiastic consent involved on all sides. Especially with so much catfishing going on over on other apps. Maybe the site could have badges or tags that filter searches.[/quote] That might be it. We go out with a lot of couple and play with few. Once we have met for dinner, we're all involved in texting, etc. Prior to that - its been my responsibility (the male half) to set up the dates and coordinate the logistics while keeping her in the loop. It works for us. We generally won't give out our real phone numbers until we have something set up - at which point we generally create a group text to make sure everyone is 'looped' in. At the end of the day - what we learn from this topic is that everyone's approach is different. We haven't had anyone flake out yet - YMMV. Good luck sexy peeps!

swingin - thought this site was a swingers site - I have found that people have muddied up the forums with baggage. Your point is well made WAAA1101, I think that a swing site should be just that, not room for venting crap. I don't mean to sound indifferent about the massacre, war or such but I don't think a swing site forum is the place for it, nor is it a place to tolerate! Forums are not garbage disposal!!

Go turn on Oprah - re:swingers - yeahhhh i coulda shown that oprahrie what swinging really is all about!

BD/SM- Why are there no groups? - - Hello! I have never started a discussion form topic before (btw-this is Dana not Terry) so please be forgiving of me. Anyways, I have a question. I was looking for groups on this site that are into the BD/SM L.S. I know there are other websites that cover this interest, however I know of many swingers who are also into the "darker delights" such as myself. But I have found none on this site (as far as I know) that cover this subject/interest. So is there any groups that cover this topic that I can join, or if not, would anybody be interested in starting such a group on this site?I know this subject can be a little more touchy than other LS related issues. I also understand that people who partcipate in these activties would want their activties kept private. So if you don't feel comfortable posting here, please feel free to send me a private e-mail. Thank You and have a wonderful day![em]Emo_49[/em] Dana

Happy Fathers Day - Hope it has ~ - Massage I think I understand where you're going. The first response I read before you edited. I think your doing what they people who classify single males in one group are doing. And broad group everyone. What you covered goes over so many different types of swingers. I'll explain me in part now and yes she reads what I type and gives me input, she just isn't into posting on sites like this. Many of us are not on here for either of us specially where on here for each other this is a swinger site I don't come here for single males. I come here to find couple's for both of us. The fact my wife didn't realize till I told her last month is when it comes to single males I'm so picky. I'm bi sexual as many know I can post on a site like grinder and I will get sexy guys in there 20s in perfect shape messaging me for hook ups. Full disclosure I don't like doing those because of fear of STDs, but the reason I say that is the market for guys is so over supplied, so if me or my wife want a single guy to play with we typically look for that else where. I don't do hook ups with guys neither does she we want relationship with guys or girls then if it comes sex. That's kind of all over the place sorry I write it on my phone. But if single guys wouldn't go against profile requests on this site I think they would have better reputation. Let's face it this is a swinger site so in my opinion single guys are more of guests that need to watch what they say do. Or get replaced. That sounds harsh but it's true. With all that said me and Brenda did find an amazing single guy on this site. But we contacted him.

couples more [oft ] ask for couples or single females. why is th - - We havent had a lot of experience with single males or single females....or 3somes all together, really......however, the one time that we did show interest in a single male for my pleasure (Mrs. Stitch typen) we had a really bad experience in finding one that was honest with why he was in this lifestyle all together. When we found a male we were interested in and we met up for some fun...the fun happened and after we found out the truth of his reality...and that was that his WIFE didnt put out at all, and he was really a married man with 3 small children looken for sex without strings. NOw the "sex without strings" thing is not what bothered me, however, the wife and 3 small children thing bothered me a great deal for very long time after that night. We (hubby and I) were both really upset by it, and wasnt looken for an experience that contributed to someone getting really hurt, and lied to. Sad thing is, we still see him lingering on the websites for swingers and being quite active in the lifestyle. I realize that just the bad actions of one single male doesnt mean that all single males are the same.....we also realize that there are probably some single women that are also cheating as well. After that bad experience we both decided that if we wanted a 3some experience it would have to be with ppl that we knew and trusted and really knew their life story. We decided that we wanted to just meet some fun couples and stick with married, stable couples that are looking for the same fun as we are. We dont ever want to contribute to breaking up a marriage and hurting someone else, we just want to have fun!!!

Desire Pearl Anyone Going? Feb 1 - 5th 2016??? - Desire Pearl - Maya Riviera, Mexico - SOCURIOUS: Desire Resorts, It is a place for couples only! Its a place where one can wear a swim suit to the pool or hot tubs, or take them off and be naked. You can be naked anywhere but in the dinning area. Its all inclusive with all the alcohol you desire. The food is pretty good (far better than most all inclusive places). Its very liberal and that is why Desire Pearl and Desire Rivera Maya is the go to places for those in the lifestyle. Yes, there is swinging going on in the playrooms and in the cabanas by the hot tubs in the late afternoons and after the disco at nights. The people are from all over the world and it is rare to find the "Utah judgmental attitudes there. Most everyone is there to relax, drink, meet new people and yes, to enjoy their sexual desires. Temptations Cancun lends to topless only and you will get all sorts of young couples attempting to talk their partners into trying the lifestyle and most fail miserably. So it is loud and most are not lifestyle with the accommodations not as good. Desire RM is our favorite and we have been to all of them including Jamaica and the Cabo resorts. Desire Rm is fun, a party of adults and just more free spirited. people "play" here more than others and is the sister resort to Pearl. Desire Pearl has better rooms but not by much. The food is similar and we tend to find half are nudists, not swingers. So you never know if you are hitting it off with a couple that ends in naked fun, or hitting a couple that mows their lawn naked. Don't get us wrong, we love Desire Pearl (it is fabulous). This is why we go to the Desire resorts at least once a year just to cut loose for a week of debauchery and laughs.

Evil's latest poll. Fellas, would you ever... - - [quote=CHEFFETTE][quote=EVILDOERS]Naw. Not tryin' to be the Soup...er Sex Nazi. Just wanted to try to understand where some of the attitudes about male bisexuality and swinging come from. I find it extremely interesting how much homophobia still exists in the world and how much exists in a community of people dedicated to sexual freedom. I find human nature fascinating and especially when that nature is something that is more or less taught rather than innate. [/quote]In the three months + I've been reading here all I can come up w/ to explain certain members' homophobia and continued, idiotic comments is this is a male-dominated swinger site and in my experience males feel more threatened by the potential they're perceived as something they don't want to be seen as; you'd think that w/ as much time as they spend w/ their own cock in their hand every single day they'd be less terrified of a cock belonging to another guy, but apparently they must declaim it at every turn or they'll go sterile/bald/teh gayz w/o even TRYING.[/quote] If I were from Maine, I'd say "Ahyup". As I told a girl a couple days back when we were talking about "Sexual Fluidity" by Lisa Diamond, when she said she'd heard that Diamond is working on a new study along the same lines, but on men instead of women, I doubted she'd find much there because, for whatever reason, society has a much more severe taboo against male-male sex than it does against female-female sex. The taboo against women with women was once nearly as strong, but since probably sometime in the '60s it has become much less so. And you're surrounded by society's attitudes, and they're pounded into your head from they day you're old enough to understand anything. And the stronger a taboo, and male-male sex is one of the strongest, the more unlikely it is that you'll get ever rid of it. Physically, sex is a matter of friction properly applied to the correct parts of the body, ultimately resulting in orgasm. So the sex of the person applying it, or to whom you're applying it, really shouldn't matter. But it does. I have absolutely zero homophobia. If I'm in bed with more than one person, and some guy's hand touches me someplace for a second I won't freak out or even care. I understand that I've been socialized into how I feel, and that if I'd grown up in, for example, ancient Greece, I wouldn't have been. I understand that the prohibition of male-male sex grew out of humanity needing to expand as quickly as possible in order to survive, and that the cultural attitudes which that created got written into religions as they developed. I know that there's absolutely no logical reason for it. I know that the "logical" arguments against homosexual sex are nonsense. Like "it isn't natural - you don't see homosexual animals." Bullshit. Yes you do, all the time. I have a hen who's always humping the other hens. She doesn't accomplish anything, but she does it. One of the animals that is genetically closest to humans, the Benobo, a type of chimpanzee, has sex all the time with members of its band (the true swingers of the animal world), male or female, doesn't matter. I know that physically, biologically, there's no reason sex with one sex shouldn't work as well as with the other. I have a really good friend who is a pre-op male to female transexual, and if she ever has the surgery, and becomes physically female below as well as above the waist, sure I'd have sex with her if she wanted to. And I have other friends who are lesbian or gay. And I even belong to and volunteer for HRC (Human Rights Council). I should be a prime candidate for bisexuality. But no, I would not suck someone's dick. Or want some guy sucking mine. Even though I understand that that feeling has been socialized into me, that it probably wasn't predetermined when I was born male, still it's there, and it is what it is. The more emphatically something is socialized into you as you grow up, the less likely it is that you'll ever break away from it, even if you do manage to get away from some of the other things you were "taught". And I think that, Evil is your answer. ~ Terry

Are swingers moral? - Who determines what morals are? - I don't lie. I don't cheat. I don't steal. I'm loyal to a fault. I keep my promises. I will have your back when ever you need it. I donate both material items, $, and time to charities and those who need it. I'm kind to animals, children (except my own LOL), those less fortunate, and my neighbors. I respect and obey the law for the most part. Im STILL trying to learn how to drive without speeding. I have taught my children to respect their elders, the law, and their friends. However..... I will rip you a new asshole when the one you currently have has your head shove up there. I will do depraved sexual things with whom ever I want (consensual only) and enjoy every moment of it. I will kick your ass if you hurt someone I love. Literally and figuratively. And I don't share chocolate. I don't what that makes me. Then again, I don't feel like I need to answer to you ("you" in general, not the OP) and justify my behavior. Your morals maybe completely different. If yours offend mine then I have the freedom to say "fuck you" and walk away. And vice versa.

Advertising your self - Do it like You would a house or car - If your job is at the stake you are not getting paid for that anyway. Most swingers are willing to comfort you and greet your hole (Well your wife's hole) with a kiss if your ward or stake finds out and you get excommunicated. Think of all the money you will have to buy naughty school girl outfits and a camera to take pictures once you no longer have to pay your 10%. We saw Oozing Pustules as the lead off band for Jack Off Jill. They sucked!