Pacific Palisades Swingers in California

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Family Swingular Members - OMFG and you do a search and see a close family member on the list..... - I could handle an ex or some extended family members being swingers but my parents or my child? Yuck....I would loose my lunch...lol.

What about the lifestyle didn't meet your expectations? - Preconceptions and disappointment. - I'm home bored, so stop here if you don't want to read a bunch of shite. lol. I think we both entered the lifestyle with some preconceived notions of what the people in the LS would be like, but that was mostly from our limited experience with being vanilla and having LS peeps try to hit on us. It just seemed creepy, desperate and gross at the time. We assumed most of the players would be super aggressive, ready to fuck anyone and have zero interest in relationships outside of sex. Our initial entry was simply to watch and be watched. We quickly learned that there are just as many wonderful people in the LS as out of it. Maybe more. There will always be the outliers, the few percentage on each end of the spectrum that are more extreme, but that happens in any population. Overall, it was a happy surprise. So that would be a negative expectation that wasn't met. As far as things we were hoping would happen or expectation that weren't met, we have very few. But we also went into the labyrinth without really expecting or assuming anything. I don't think we were naive enough to think that this segment of the population was somehow immune from the social characteristics that reveal themselves in any other social class or group. You will always have the "cool kids" the "shy people" the "jocks" the "geeks" the people who classify themselves as the "pity party" and blame the world for their problems. Those things will exist anywhere and should. Swingers are a diverse group of people with a few, maybe very few, common goals. Those goals I think are to meet others with social deviancy and those interested in expanding their sexual experiences or simply to meet new friends. Swinging, in itself, doesn't solidify your beliefs in anything else (politics, food preferences, choice of travel location, or even how or what you are looking for as swingers). I think that is where expectations can fail. If a person goes into a situation thinking, "I/we think "x" so everyone else must think "x" as well", they are bound to be disappointed. I've said this a lot of times, the lifestyle is not black and white. Life isn't black and white. There will be frustrations around every turn if you allow yourself to be duped into thinking your way of thinking is more than just your viewpoint, that it is universal to everyone. I see people complaining of flakes, people who meet once then run away, etc. That's how they roll. That's their truth. It's what they are comfortable with or wanting and who am I to judge. That being said, I don't have to associate with them and hopefully learn how to avoid that situation or become more efficient at finding people with similar interests. The lifestyle is work. Sometimes a lot of work. I think it's foolish to think that it should be easy to find 4 people who all jive. Think about how many people you have dated before settling on the right one for you. And to assume that somehow changes in the lifestyle and that after chatting on kik for a few weeks then meeting over drinks will somehow magically connect you. Ugh. Sometimes it happens. Sometimes not. But I wouldn't expect it. For others, the thought of any connection past the one-nighter is absurd. Why would you want to make friends with your fuck-buddies? It may be too risky and cause too many emotions. Point is, we are all different and that is what makes the journey so beautiful. And, just a note about flakes, since it is a recurrent theme. Yes, maybe there are more flakes in the lifestyle, but I'm guessing it's specifically related to the nature of the LS. Swinging for some can be very intimidating and frightening. Sometimes the chase is much more fun than the fucking. Not excusing them that do flake, it seems a problem for sure, but I think I understand, at least in part, why it happens so much. There is so much social pressure not to be in the lifestyle and most were brought up without it being the normal way to live. So society is telling us we are wrong, gross, deviant, etc. Add to that the fear of actually getting naked and fucking someone else and it can cause a lot of anxiety in some. When we first started we were petrified to even go the parties thinking it was going to be a fuck/rape fest. lol. Turned out we were wrong but it was a learning process. Lastly, if you are already treading carefully and the couple/person you are supposed to be meeting gives off any bad vibes, maybe flaking is best. It's hard not to hurt someone's feelings and honesty isn't always what happens. I know we have been honest with couples and it turned into a shit-show. Why don't you like us? If you only meet us and give us a chance we can prove we are wonderful. Other's like us, why don't you. It's hard to be honest at times about why there isn't a connection. May flaking be a way to spare feelings? I don't know. There are probably a plethora (Hefe, do you know what a plethora is?)of reasons people flake and some of those my be that they are just douches. But likely there are other people that aren't and are just trying to get out of a situation they are unfamiliar with. Avoid the douches but maybe give those others a second chance. Evil: always good topics you bring to the table. So you think because people like sex they should be good at it? I know a lot of people who love food but suck at cooking. haha. Maybe having too many options on the table can also make people lazy. I don't have to try hard if I know tomorrow is another partner. To some it's the quantity and not the quality. But I can see why the expectation would be there. All in all we really have no complaints. It's been a fascination journey. Some ups, some downs, but always and adventure. We will keep our expectations low, both of ourselves and those around us. Less disappointment that way. I'm going back to sitting in my underwear, drinking a beer and watching TV. Zero expectations. haha. :) Mr. SRO

Tooele swingers party - - I'm in!

Kik group for UT swingers. - Contact me if your interested in joining a KIK group for Swingers - Contact me on Kik. Urnewsecret and I can add you in.

Single guys and emails... - Answering all emails - except from single men who don't seem to read our profile - OK here's another post from another "Narwhal" (single male vs. "unicorn" single female) Valance I think you coined the moniker in another post and hope it sticks because it's comparative nature of desirability even with a 10 ft. pole. I really don't understand couples attempt for the exclussion of single males as not being"swingers" without also excluding the single females as swingers with statments like "stay out of the clubs, your not swingers"or" get a woman first" This is a lifestyle not an exclusive club and there are all types and interests. I admit there are many rude crude and impolite males out there but there are also the same in the couples and single women catagories too. What are my odds of finding a woman into and interested in similar sexual activities in a regular bar or dating site? I'm here mainly for the social aspect(and yes maybe sex!). My reasoning being if one can be open and honest about sex they can and usually are more honest about all other things and this has been a general experience with most of the people I have met. Yes there's sometimes drama .(90% of the time it's either insecurity or honesty related and you'll see me headed the other way..lol) but for the most part I have found all of you folks to be great to be around. I don't ever expect any replies to any email contcts I initiate or receive any initial contact,the good old days of letters of introduction and subsequent curtious replies are regretfuly long gone. The internet just makes it easier to ignore or not acknowledge someone. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone replied without fearing nasty rebukes for rejection issues? The single males are just looking for their needs and desires to be fulfilled just like all of you and don't deserve to be bashed for being single. Being rude, vulgar,overly aggressive or impolite is a different matter. All in all I say have fun and play nice no mater what your preferences are.

Do you Expect to get laid at Swinger Parties? - - We never expect to play...we just go to have a good time. If we meet a couple to swap with...thats jsut a bonus. We have a great club/group of swingers around here....only thing I can say is try places and if ones not right try another....and word of mouth is the best at finding the one that might be right for you....or group does a weekly online chat night and helps inform people that want to know about of group and what to expect there. Also they do a Meet and Greet at a local bar on certain weekends to let newbies get to know the regulars.

The Vent part II - Secrecy - Hi all, me again here with another vent. As we have turned into full blown swingers, our "Vanilla" friends are becoming an issue. We usually swing out of town for two reasons, first there are very few swingers in our area, and I'm having my doubts that the ones that are here are who they say they are, and second, (as a friend once said) we are in a small town and can't "shit in our own nest." The problem is we are very fun people to be around (not bragging,) and when we go out of town our Vanilla friends want to come with us. This leads into the problem, if we take our friends out of town with us we can't find someone to play with, or we have to "out" ourselves to them which leads to SO many other issues that I don't even want to contemplate what could happen then. (Basically all of them would not be open and understanding.) So we are planning a trip to Mesquite, for all you Northerners that's like Wendover, and some of our Vanillas want to come, but we want to "hook up" while we are there, and if we don't "hook up" we could still have alot of fun with our regular friends. So do we risk putting a wedge in our friendships by making up stories and lies, or do we give up on getting some? its like a double edged sword, (we would love to have more swinger friends, but I will refer you to above statement about lack of real swingers in our area.) In many ways I would love to just announce at the next bash that we are swingers now and they should just deal with it, but we all know that's NOT a good idea. Any thoughts or ideas? I guess we just have to pick one huh? -Classy

merry christmas - - we want to wish all of our swingers friends a merry christmas and a happy new year------i told my husband if he is good that santa clause is going bring him a merry ho.ho. and a happy new rear for his present ha ha ha lol

PurfectLV party this weekend - - We know in some circles it is considered bad form to reply to your own post, but we thought an update on PurrfectLV would be useful for some. We went to the party last Friday night and we really enjoyed it. The venue at the top of the Mandalay Bay is fantastic. The swinger group has a separate room with a bar and with music at a low volume so conversation is easy. You can also go mingle in the main club/bar if you want to dance. There is also a great outdoor patio/balcony with a view of the Strip. The crowd (at least those we talked to) were mostly out of towners - for example, there was a whole party from Alaska who had only arrived in Vegas that night. There did also seem to be some regulars. Everyone seemed very easygoing and friendly - like most swingers. You can buy the admission ticket online before hand (we did) - it is more expensive to pay at the door. Online cost was $40 (plus a fee) for a couple with no additional charge for our third (a single female). Adding a single guy would ramp this up significantly. We are not sure how this compares to the regular admission to the club but it seemed reasonable given the private room. Bar prices were a bit steep by SLC standards - $14 for a glass of wine. Iman is a gracious and efficient hostess. She does this every week and has obviously streamlined the process. One really nice touch is that PurrfectLV guests don't have to stand in the regular line and are given a wristband. This gets you into the private room and means that you can also recognize other swingers even in the main bar. The main party runs from 10.30pm. At 1.30pm many people moved on to the after party which is in a hotel suite. This party is effectively a private house party and is BYOB. We didn't go so can't comment but it is definitely a full swing party. Iman circulates at the main party and distributes a second wristband for those interested. There is an additional contribution for this ($20/couple, single female again free).

The New Neighbors Are Swingers - - [video]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hTrOMcWqYE[/video]