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Onyx Swingers in California

Onyx Swingers

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Swinging and Children Don't Mix With Me, What about You? - Unforgettable experience - I have to say, having children and trying to meet with couples can be very hard on your lifestlye. Family always comes first in my book, but it doesn't seem like every parent thinks that, which is why I'm letting you know why they should start thinking about it. We thought that maybe if we could meet with a couple that also have a child or has children, that we could have a better, lasting relationship and have other things to enjoy with these couples, besides just swinging. Well, one couple didn't work out with us and I don't know how to go about letting them know they were wrong in what happened. I'm the only one that even seemed to get upset about the situation and I wanted to get others opionion to make sure I don't owe an opology to them. Here's what happened..... Me and my husband met with a couple at a swingers club, which was off-premise, and we talked some and explained we had children and that we wanted to meet with couples, but it was hard with younsters and it was also hard to find a reliable and trusting babysitter to be able to enjoy the night out. They the told us they had a child and that if we wanted to talk more and get to know each other better, that we could come to their home for a dinner, with our kids. Now...we explained up front that we don't play seperate and we definitely did not play if we had our children with us. They said that it wouldn't be a problem, no hank-panky with kids around, because they too had a small one. This sounded really great to us, because we thought we found a good couple to be friends with and have some extra benefits too, if we wanted. Well, things started out okay. We were greeted at the door by the family, and our kids was introduced to their child, and was showed some computer games and such to play. That gave us time to talk a little to the couple and was shown the outside of their home and such before dinner. After dinner is when everything went WRONG. First, I had to go to the bathroom. Well, while I was gone to the bathroom, the Mrs. decide to give my hubby a tour of the rest of the house, mainly the extra bedroom....and when I asked the hubby where my hubby was, he said.."Don't worry about them, they'll be okay for awhile"...well, that really ticked me off, especially knowing our children were now mixed up in this...and our oldest asking where his daddy went with that lady.....that was about the last straw for me....but I was in these peoples home, not mine, and I respect others homes, but in this situation, I was ready to leave, and without my other half....because he too knew our rules of playing. Well, when the Mrs. and mine came back up, my other half knew I was mad, but for some strange reason, he felt like he had to still play around with her, and in the same room all the children were in!!!! Not to mention, she couldn't keep her hands off him, which was not making my situation of trying to calm down any easier. When I finally got my hubby alone, I "very persistantly" told him me and the kids were leaving...NOW..and if he was smart he had better be out the front door before me or I would leave him there, and I truely meant it. I was so angry and hurt by all of the happenings around me, I thought that if this is what it's like to try and swing...FORGET IT...my nerves or marriage weren't going to stay together if this is what I had to look forward to everytime. My hubby didn't get out the door before me..he was too busy kissing the Mrs good-bye....and I mean french-kissing..... but, thank Goodness I got the kids out the door before me....and that didn't help out any on his part, believe me. We stopped swinging for many years after that because of trust with one another and with other couples saying one thing and then doing another. This particular couple apparently feels that nothing was wrong with what happened, and actually contacted us again after many, many, many years after this incident happened. I'm not one either to "shun" anyone, but this expereince really bothered me then, and still does, and after them contacting us again, through an e-mail, not by phone, it makes me wonder about my feelings on the matter. Am I wrong to feel this way, even after all these years? I do trust my husband NOW, after the bad expereinces, because there was one more after that, but it took alot of talking, yelling, and regaining a trust that is hard to achieve after something that drastic that involved your kids in the process. I e-mailed them back, but I know it was short and blunt, nothing mean, I don't do things like that, but what if they try again to contact us...what do I say? Any help/advice/opinions is appreciated. Hope no one ever has to expereince something like this...most marriages would never have lasted unless you really had a great understanding with your mate, and we put ours to the test and passed.......barely.

how do we ask others - kinda new and need advise - Hey y'all :-) Well my bf and i have been together 10 years. We have went to swinger clubs in vegas and had 3 somes with my friends... which the friendship never ended well... Leson learned there :-/ Anyways we are looking for others to play... But we also needed to be kinda discrecte because of my profession. Im not a social butterfly by anymeans but im well off with liquid courage. He says hes forgot how to talk to woman and feels kinda nervous.... Never was before. We wana be able to go to a bar or someplace and be able to find someone. Can you give me advise on how to pick up a woman and bring her home with us. What do we say? What are signs that maybe other swingers know? Any help would be great. Were just looking to be able to have fun with someone besides my friends.

Moose Lounge Tonight, November 17th. - - We had to work. Too bad there isn’t a Saturday meeting place. Or we would have definitely been down for finding a couple(s) to mingle with. I mean we are swingers. And this is what we do. Any couples out there wanting to a more quiet, personal evening? Couple do dinner first to check chemistry. Then let nature do the test. 😛

Falling in Love, Thanks for the memories. - - [quote=TROPICTHUNDER]Is it just me, or does this thread kind of imply swingers in general aren't totally in love? I'm not saying that's what OP meant to say, but I have the feeling most people here are wrapped around there SO's finger, and not necessarily "looking for more". Either way, congrats on finding love ;) [/quote] I think you have a valid point but I don

Disabled Swingers - - My best friend was disabled, and while up until the last month of her life she was not confined to needing mobility assistance, she was active in the lifestyle and very upfront with people about her disability. She was always a BBW, struggling with issues from severe depression and diabetes, her weight fluctuated up and down as a side effect of various medications and changes in medications to manage her primary illness, that being bipolar disorder. Sometimes she had zero sex drive as a side effect of some of the medications for her depression, and sometimes she wanted sex 24/7 (Manic side of the bipolar disorder). She always told anyone that contacted her about her illness from the first contact/reply and would leave it up to them if there was ever to be an in person meeting knowing that she may or may not be able to play. We were friends for over 8 years, and while we were active in the lifestyle as a couple for 2 years we always let others know there was a possibility of the other one of us being around (especially when she was having bad times from her mental illness). She always had a good time when she was able to play, and we met a lot of really good people. So just hang in there, be honest and confident. You will meet people that are willing to play with you once they understand your situation and limitations, and you will have some wonderful times. Larry

Where are all the gentlemen? - - Its single guys like that (a few married ones too) that give single guys bad reputations. I personally feel that regardless if it is a swing party, event, occassion, etc. whenever a couple or woman in general is willing to allow you to touch her in any situation it should be done with all respect. OK, there are def times when she may want to be called a dirty whore, filthy cum slut, just a 3-hole bitch,etc. but those are very obvious times and just because she is a swinger doesn't mean you have the right to put your hands or any other body parts on her without her permission. NOBODY should assume they have any rights to do anything with anyone's body that is not their own! Swingers, Sluts, Whores, Prostitutes, etc. does not mean free for all who care to use me, touch me,etc. People in general should be repected simply because it is their body, regardless of what they may let someone else do to it. There is just no home training anymore, sad, sad wolrd. Whenever I am lucky enough to find a couple that is looking for a single male I make sure to verify what is and what is not allowed. As a single male I understand that I am being given a gift to share in the sexual encounters of this man's wife, lover, partner, girlfriend, baby momma,etc. 90% of the time it is mainly for her enjoyment and I have yet to meet anyone that likes strangers to paw them out of the blue or see a person they care about be pawed without consent. My purpose in that situation is to bring more pleasure to the couple by pleasing the women with/without in same/different room, adding that extra spark they haven't been able to obtain with just the two of them. Ok, I'm getting off my soap box, but this really pisses me off to hear things like that are still happenening and some people can be so ignorant and rude.

issues - A few of my questions I have are issues that I wonder others have my feelings also. I wish someone could help fix. I using this - You must also consider there are a lot of single guys out there and to answer each and every mail takes a lot of time. Besides that it seems most the single males think that sice people on here are swingers they will jump in the sack with anybody any time which is certainly not the case.

CNC???? - - Sorry with all the respect , this is not the fourm I can debate politicts, this is an adult swingers site , meet me on other sites that we can see and debate such issues in the open in my true identity and with authority ,;) and anyway just food for thought, why do you think it is so good and wise for a large majority white America to elect a black man to lead the country ? why did not the people of England or France do so ? look what happend in Iraq with saddem as a leader from a minority group of people , no matter how you look on it at least % 50 of all americans don't trust him as a simple person forget about as a leader , why impose unncessary tensions betw. whites and blacks, can you imagne what will happen if Obama gets impeached or assassinated ? do you know about riots happening across the USA when a black man gets killed or hurt , can you remember what happened in FL. , L.A. , N.Y. , We can then all forget about a black man sticking his cock in a white ass or pussy he will stick a knife in there .lol. why do we need this ? why take a stupid fucken risk ? !!! this itself will make it impossible for Obama to lead the USA , forget about to be accepted in the entire world .:)

The unbearable burden of proof. - Congratulations! You have an opinion. Why does everybody else have to agree with it? - Well, this certainly seems like a 'diverted extension' to me. But, since you did ask (and publicly), here goes: People often tell others what they've done, to demonstrate that they have a certain amount of experience doing it. Simple enough. And, in remarkable contrast to your opinion, it's not necessarily to sound intelligent or to give credence to an outrageous postulations. Sometimes they actually know what they're talking about. Unfortunately, you can't assume that just because someone talks about their experience, they really don't know anything. As to your comment concerning years of experience...(and you immediately zero in on computers...hmmm...wonder what that's about?) 1. As T4REAL capably put it, the kid from college has 'book smarts', but often lacks the real-world experience to make that training useful. Give me the vet every time - and if you listen, you'll find many who will echo that. Probably a majority. Why? Because the vet's not only seen more real problems, but they've been involved in more real answers. I recall a quote along the lines of "The biggest fault of youth is inexperience". While the young grad *cannot* have the benefit of experience the vet does, it *is* possible the vet can have the experience and the (recent) academic exposure, as well. 2. My mom - an educator herself, with degrees in all sorts of stuff, told me once, "I went to college to learn what I didn't know". (Little play on words, there - she was a languistics teacher). What she meant was that, beyond high school is another type of learning - broad and still detailed. You really begin to realize how little you actually know about things when you're exposed to further education. You gain an advanced perspective, which in turn makes you realize you know diddly, in the grand scheme of things. (Happy Mother's Day, Mom) 3. "Any more than 5 years of doing something allows a person sufficient enough time to become calcified into a single-mindedness that allows the world to pass you by anonymously." Nice pile of words...but, sure - it does 'allow...sufficient time' - but, again, it doesn't guarantee anything. If a person does anything for *any* length of time, and doesn't work to keep current, they will fall behind what is current. But you have little way of knowing how current people are, just based on some post on an Internet swingers site. Five years of doing something doesn't automatically mean someone's fallen behind, either. And the 62.5% of all statistics you cite? Well, doesn't that mean 37.5% are completely legit? (No matter the fictitious percentage *you* make your point with, it's complement will always oppose you). Again, trouble here is you have no way of knowing whether a given citation is accurate or not - but you can't just assume they're all wrong. Again, as in our recent discussion elsewhere - I put my opinion out there, and I have no problem letting others read and decide for themselves. Some people (*ahem*) seem so interested in contradicting others, they get far, far away from the matter at hand. You may find it interesting to know, I'm not really formally educated much beyond high school and military technical training; I hold no degrees, and very few certifications, proper. What I know about PC's I've learned almost entirely on my own. To be honest, I'd prefer a guy who learned because he really had passion enough to learn on his own. This is one reason I have so many machines at home...it's a hobby, but it's also a huge test bed; a training apparatus. And I've been training for over 25 years (sorry, I'm sure you hate me saying that). On the other hand, with no more education and certificates than I have, I did actually run a reasonably successful business for a while. I've managed to support my family at a level *well* beyond the means you'd expect from my education alone. So, it's possible that I do know what I'm talking about, although I don't expect you'll ever acknowledge that. It's OK, I don't really require your acknowledgement. I do realize I'm making a few assumptions here myself. While this isn't necessarily about me, it damn sure smacks of it; not at all subtle of you. Still, I've tried to indulge you, without attacking you or being insulting. I hope you learn what there is to know from the responses to your post. And T4real - excellent points!

Who in the relationship initiated the idea of joining the lifest - And why? - I lost my virginity to my hubby, and had no other partners Before we married. We were fortunately able to befriend an older (25's) couple in college who were swingers. When I started having all the usual "what am I missing" emotions, he suggested that we pursue the lifestyle. We were rather young for it... started at age 21... but it has become an integral part of our lives. Now we have been married over 17 years and have a better relationship and sex lives than ever.

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