Casmalia Swingers in California

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Newbie "outdoorsy" couple interested in the softer side. - Wish to develop a friendship with another couple in S ID, N UT - [quote=EVILDOERS] What, specifically, feels intimidating? Or perhaps a better question would be what do you fear? Are you afraid that one of you will fall in love with a playmate and leave the marriage? Or that one or both of you will like swinging too much and become big ole sluts? LOL Or maybe you're afraid of contracting a horrific sexually transmitted disease and your junk will fall off? *grin* Most of us are TERRIBLY bad at risk assessment and more often than not we fear things that are statistically FAR less likely to happen than things we don't seem to fear all that much. Some people won't fly in planes even though they are FAR less likely to die in a plane crash than driving their car to Walmart. And many swingers are deathly afraid of getting AIDS even though it's really quite hard to contract compared to, say, HSV, which most adults have actually already been exposed to. Identifying why you're intimidated might be a better use of your time than trying to find a needle in a haystack. But in the end, do what you're comfortable doing. If you think finding another newbie couple is the least intimidating way to dip your toes in then, by all means, do that. Those of us who have been around the scene for a while, however, could tell you some of the drawbacks to meeting people who are newbies. Personally, we would seek out a more experienced couple, albeit one who is NOT pushy and is willing to go at your pace and is looking for friendship more than sex. The reason I say that is if things DO turn sexual, a more experienced couple is less likely to freak out or have other issues that they haven't already dealt with. Either way, good luck.[/quote] Damn! You must be like an intuitive or something. Yes, my biggest fear is my wiener falling off...and then, my libido cruelly kicking into overdrive. Can you imagine???!!!😳 I believe my use of "intimidating" was a little off. How about nervous? You know...a little jittery, some anxiousness, and excitement all rolled into one...sorta what you'd feel if you were a beginner.😉 Re HIV/AIDS: Looking at the statistics doesn't comfort me in the context of hard core LSing. Now, I could mentally reshape those numbers to suit my desires but...really, it's of no concern to me as we're not interested in the harder side of things. Thanks for your input. I have made a few adjustments to my post and our profile.

How close is too close - - FITZNBELINDA Actually, swinging will very quickly bring out and magnify flaws in a relationship, even in good relationships. The difference is that a good relationship/marriage will use this info to increase the trust and communications and make that relationship stronger. You asked about swingers as compared to the general public... The divorce rate in the general public is between 66 and 77% depending on which figures you are looking at.. THis is both for 1st and 2nd marriages. Approx 70% of all married people, both male and females, in the general public, now will admit to extramarital affairs. Since extramarital sex is the essence of swinging that is not an issue but marriages in the swinging community are stable approximately 85% of the time or only 15% of swingers marriages fail... as compared with 75% failure in the general public... In other words non swingers are 340% more likely to get divorced than swigners... or 3.4 times as likely. Respect is one thing but sometimes Stuff just happens. We don't ask for it we are not open for it but still it still happens.... My love for others has no effect on my wife and my relationship.. She understand who I will be going home with and that I don't wish to cause others grief.. If people are honest with themselves as well as others and you respect people enough to understand what's going on and care about their feelings you just walk away before any damage is done...

I’m defense of single males - Funny old geezers - [quote=DELICIOUSLYWET][quote=PARTYINLV]We are in our sixth year on this site. We are also currently on three more sites, even after dropping two more. When we joined Swingular, we were taken aback from the negativity toward single guys. We did not see this this level of animosity on any other of the sites we are or were on. Aside from the folks from Idaho and Wyoming (and very, very few nationwide), this site is predominately Utah based. I am not negatively judging Utah since a survey or research was never done, but we had to wonder if this hatred is a Utah thing. Or was it a few couples who made it seem normal to hate and everyone just jumped on the bandwagon? Human history has taught us that ostracizing is easier than accepting. Who knows? We certainly don't understand it. Many couples correctly point out that single guys are not [b]"swingers"[/b] since they don't swap. But, we believe that single guys are part of the [b]"lifestyle"[/b] for many couples. Why is fmf ok, but mfm is not ok? As a side note: The vast majority of our play is with couples(our preference). But we occasionally like mfm for the different dynamics it offers. We have been very lucky with mfm and haven't had a bad experience yet, which I cannot say is always true with every couple we've met.[/quote] We live here. Our experience is that most couples do not hate single men. Most married men are not intimidated by the presence of single men. Most couples and singles whether super active or rarely active in the lifestyle don’t post anything in the forum section of this website. As is the case with so much on the internet, a few of us that do read or post in the forums, may give others the impression that we are a good general representation of the community’s mindset. Obviously we aren’t. What we read here is mostly just personal preferences. There are some thoughts expressed that we find interesting, sometimes enlightening. Sometimes people are just venting. Sometimes it’s angry venting stemming from personal experience. As for insecurities, we all have at least a few.[/quote] Perhaps I am just mistaking the complaints I see in forums on the home page as a reflection of the general attitude here

Swinger Hangout - Clubs - My girlfriend is curious about the lifestyle and I would like to take her to a bar or club where swingers hangout so she can meet some. Now that Habits and Moose are closed, I don't know where to go. Does anyone know the current hangout?

Swingers unnerve families at hotel - - TAMMYNWALT Thanks goodness they didnt see....and i remember that even at disney. ..

couples gf? - has any couples thought of this or had/have a gf - [quote=ABCMAN][quote=ASSETS][quote=VIRANI]is it wrong of me to believe that no girlfriend of a couple should expect anything beyond sex?[/quote] nope. I think the same... if a girlfriend expects more, then she is just setting herself up for a broken heart and disappointment.[/quote] It's not that easy. What if the man falls for the girlfriend. It is possible to love more then one person romantically, it happens all the time. Even friends of mine who have cheated on their wives, still love their wives, it's not just sex to some of these men. Sometimes I wonder if "Swingers" or "lifestylers" get so paranoid about falling for someone that they miss some of the fun that comes with sexual play with those you care about or ...cough...love. Love isn't something that is always controllable or a feeling that always can be tamed. I've read these posts for years, and it happens all the time in the lifestyle. Couple "A" plays with single male or female, they play often, soon one of the couple is in love with the secondary, then all hell breaks loose. I just asked myself, why? That person you fell in love with originally is still the same person, they may love someone else as well, but they in most cases still love you as well. Shut down the social conditioning that tells you it's wrong! So is swinging by the way if you listen to those religious cultural voices. Talk it over with your spouse, let them know it's okay to feel what ever they want to feel. Keep those communication lines open, and often the "fallen" partner will realize they love two and they do not have to love only one person. Sorry for the sermon, but I just cringe when I read these replies where people attempt to deny what makes them fundamentally human. It's okay to love others, even if they are not your spouse. Just remember who you are going home with and who was by your side the last umpteen years.[/quote] I used to work for a MORMON sex therapist... his usual statement" Love is easy... for the most part it requires the right emotion and the right impetus.... It's the RELATIONSHIP that is hard." I love many of the bodies/minds that I've touched... but I've never found a satisfaction better than what I've discovered with a husband of 17 years and our two amazing kids. I don't need anything from outside sources but a chance to see "what's out there..." Perhaps that's the real difficulty... analyzing our motives and admitting our jealousies. For example, I consider myself flat chested... It's why I LOVE encounters with buxom women... but I am willing to admit that my interest comes from a place of jealousy ... I don't ignore jealousies...I use them to my advantage. I am not girlfriend material... Monogamy bores me. But I do fit in with the group of couples who want full honesty.

Swingers cars??? - What ya driving?? - We drive a Rolls kenardly. It rolls down one hill and can hardly make it up the other.

What is up with Utah?! - Swingers in Utah and nowhere else? - We have never had friends that are more caring, sexy, and fun, than the ones we have made here in Utah.. Theres no place better! ~D&T~

Are swingers moral? - Who determines what morals are? - I was raised to believe that morality and the law are the same thing. People, in LDS society anyway, seem to profess that being moral is obeying the law and that is what they teach their children in church. I have always assumed that other religions do the same thing. But what seems to be said here is that swingers feel that the law has little or nothing to do with morality and that we are perfectly willing to break the law for our own pleasure. Is that what we are saying here.

Age quesiton - Do swingers of the same age group swing together? - We agree that attitude it more important than age. We swing with older and younger, and they all have been great experiences. We hope to keep meeting great people no matter what the age.