Biggs Swingers in California

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Wear your damn masks! - COVID-19 and your junk! - We can’t just wander around COSTCO not wearing a condom and give the people around us an STD. Yes as lifestyle people we are already somewhat predisposed to a somewhat riskier social life than what a lot of other people might find acceptable for themselves. With a virus that’s airborne it’s not that difficult to pass it along with out the consent or such close proximity a sex to those around us. Hence, the mask recommendations. Swingers that don’t understand respect an or consent, will tend create drama.

A fine line. - - Trying to stick to the OP intent here. [quote=CARRIERMANANDGEEKGIRL][quote=EVILDOERS] we often find it difficult to walk the fine line between being nice, polite, and social with other people when we do not actually feel an attraction to them. If we had a week at desires it would be easier to be nice and talk with everyone. However adult hours are not easy to come by so we do find this line hard. My wife will talk with a friendly person or couple the whole night. Even if the couple is in some committed deal. I have been working on getting her to direct her time on couples she can see us doing something mor. Or limit the time she spends and move along. Do you at some point just say honestly that while they are nice it just ain't gonna happen? We only feel this is needed it they ask us if we want to get a room. At that time you just have to say something and it is never easy. Do you make some sort of lame excuse and beat a hasty retreat hoping they will get the hint? Do you move on to another couple that you are attracted to and look annoyed when the first couple follows you around all night. Of course some people just won't take a hint or take "no" for an answer and for those you DO have to be blunt. This is one method that does seem to work. It is easier if you do it early on in the timeline like the first 5 mins or less. So what techniques do y'all use in situations like this? How do you be nice to others without necessarily encouraging them? [b]Seriously? I mean, you don't know how to interact with others and carry on a conversation without having them believe you want to hop in the sack with them?[/b] Its not that easy.. How do you walk over to a couple and start to talk to them at a swingers party and not have them think you want the Mor?

KUTV News Story on Swingers - News - [quote=DELICIOUSLYWET]Gasp! Tens of thousands of swingers here in Utah. I believe Utah now has a slightly higher-than-average divorce rate. The national divorce rate is 3.4% with Utah slightly higher at 3.6%. The percent of divorced residents in Utah is reported as 9.3% which is the 18th lowest in the nation. Don't ask me how those numbers reconcile. It has something to do with immigration into the state I am guessing. New Jersey reports that 8.5% of it's residents are divorced and that is the lowest in the nation. Well what do you think? Did more than 3.6% of all the swinger couples, that you have met end up getting a divorce? Was it over swinging? Are more than 9.3% of the swingers population divorced? This would include all the singles now swinging that were once married. One woman telling the media how swinging ended her marriage is anecdotal at best. Do I believe she is telling the truth? Yes I do. Do I personally believe swinging ads an extra element of jeopardy to a marriage? Yes I do. Do I believe there are quite a few people that would be happier staying away from the swinging lifestyle? Yes I do. Never-the-less, most of the couples, we have personally met, that are swingers seem to enjoy swinging and frankly enjoy doing it together. Do I believe there are quite a few couples who will enjoy swinging? Yes I do, we certainly have enjoyed the lifestyle experience as do a lot of swinging couples we have met. In the end if you are a married couple you have to make the decision based on the two of you, as to whether or not swinging is a good thing in your lives individually and as a couple. As for statistical models as to the divorce rate within the community of swingers well there aren't any. This isn't really a news story it's sensationalist journalism designed to attract viewers. Anyway, the divorce rate has been going down since the 1980s and swinging has been on the rise since the 1980s so you could make an analogy that swinging is saving marriage. Yes it would be a bunch of anecdotal bull shit just like this story. [/quote] Right. And swinging doesn't end a marriage anymore than cheating or lying or alcohol abuse or drugs, etc; people end marriages. Any relationship is an invention solely created by those people involved and only they have power over its progress forward. Will swinging or discussions about it lead to problems between people in relationships? Potentially. But any attempt by the anonymous lady in the story to blame swinging for anything is an attempt on her part to avoid accountability. You can't blame the alcohol itself for the drunk. PS, NJ may have a lower divorce rate b/c it's one of the few states that still grants annulment instead of divorce in certain cases.

New Swingers Club in Utah - Gauging interest in new club - just curious if there has been any momentum from this feed? It seems there is a following, so where do we go from here? Being a swinger in Utah definitely has it's down falls, one of which being "follow through". We have tried nearly every avenue in finding fwb only to find most just want sexting buddies. If we had a place to physically meet, the way it was once upon a time before technology, there would be a much higher success rate at actually meeting people! I've seen an e-vite somewhere floating around that invites members of swingular to a private area of a public club downtown on Friday nights. Has anyone ever attended this? How was it? I think that would be a good place to start for getting a feel of how many would actually attend something like this if you are serious about opening a venue.

Has swinging changed? - - I've been trying to quantify the changes we're seeing but it's a little hard to pin down. For one thing, there seem to be quite a few people sticking their heads in and quickly retreating. Perhaps it's the ease of entry that allows "lookie Lous" to sort of check things out without really risking actually MEETING someone. LOL Another thing we've noticed is that there seem to be more people treating swinging as simply another way to hook up for NSA sex. I mean I know at it's core that's what swinging is but it's almost become a wham, bam, thank you ma'am culture rather than the sensuality of sharing your body with a caring generous lover. Foreplay almost seems to have become perfunctory (if it happens at all) and there's more of a "down and dirty by nine thirty" attitude than there used to be. It's almost a hit it and quit it or get in, get out, go home culture now. Many people just seem to be in such a hurry to fuck that they don't really want to take any time to get to know each other a little first. Maybe I'm seeing things but it just seems like it's changed a lot since we started swinging. I was talking to some people on another site and one guy postulated that the changes were due to the scene being so diluted by people with varied interests that there just aren't a lot of "pure" swingers anymore. I dunno, maybe I just need more coffee. [em]Emo_96[/em]

A question for singles..... - and please be honest. - After reading some of the comments... It begs the question aren't the singles on here advertising the fact that they are or want to be swingers? Looking for partners to explore the swinging experience? Or are they just people who are looking to get free sex? I'm not saying that any of it is wrong but singles used to date then have sex and then get involved with others. I'm not sure when the swinger sites became dating sites for sex starved singles. Not saying it's bad or good just asking.

Those damn single men! - Where do they fit in this lifestyle? - jstjim72 and Ironhorse thank you. I would just like tosay that I am a very easy going person and I have had women, and couples treat me like a dog, just because I am a single male. yet when I tsake a lady friend with me the same women and couples are very interested in becoming friends and maybe even playmates.{ here is the questions I present } 1. did my looks change? 2. did my personality change? 3. did I suddenly change as a person? 4. did my sense of humor change? the answer to all of those questions is NO I didn't do Any thing to change any thing, except bring a friend. Next question{ what if the friend I brought were a male? } the answer, I wouldn't even make it in the door! When I go to a club, whether it be straight or a swingers club I go to have a good time and enjoy myself. I am very easy going and if I'm on my days off I like to drink. Believe it or not I am less opinionistic when I am drunk because I don't want to get thrown out! I go to a club to have fun and enjoy myself,when there if it turns into a lay great if not noharm no foul! And as far as the websites go, I am still easy to talk to and easy going. The one thing I don't like is that I am denied(fine) and then the couple says they have had noone interested in meeting with them. That is a little hypocritical, there was interest in meeting, just they were not interested; don't lie about it be truthful, say(we are not interested) and also say(the inquiries we have had aren't to our likings or standards) in a lifestyle that is "taboo" or considered as deviant by regular standards, truthfulness is a must! we have to have boundaries,standards and goals to achieve anything, why would that change here? I ama very succcesful business man and like to have fun, I thought that is what this lifestyle was about; fun,experience,friends and of course sex. one has to coinside with the others. I guess I have expressed enough of my thoughts today, I will step aside for someone else to express their thoughts. I didn't write this out of anger or ignorance, I wrote it hoping it will make people think before they treat someone unfairly, and I hope that it gives someone a new insight, and just think as indefinate as things are in life, why should we live in fear. Just have a good time. thanx jeremy

Disabled Swingers - - [quote=LPF_69]My best friend was disabled, and while up until the last month of her life she was not confined to needing mobility assistance, she was active in the lifestyle and very upfront with people about her disability. She was always a BBW, struggling with issues from severe depression and diabetes, her weight fluctuated up and down as a side effect of various medications and changes in medications to manage her primary illness, that being bipolar disorder. Sometimes she had zero sex drive as a side effect of some of the medications for her depression, and sometimes she wanted sex 24/7 (Manic side of the bipolar disorder). She always told anyone that contacted her about her illness from the first contact/reply and would leave it up to them if there was ever to be an in person meeting knowing that she may or may not be able to play. We were friends for over 8 years, and while we were active in the lifestyle as a couple for 2 years we always let others know there was a possibility of the other one of us being around (especially when she was having bad times from her mental illness). She always had a good time when she was able to play, and we met a lot of really good people. So just hang in there, be honest and confident. You will meet people that are willing to play with you once they understand your situation and limitations, and you will have some wonderful times. Larry[/quote] i totally understand where she's coming from with the side effect of the meds. although she shouldn't be having the manic stages unless she goes off the meds. i know how tough those ups and downs can be though. i'm sure some people around here saw me at a few parties and thought i was nuts and/or a very terrible person. i never bothered to explain it to anybody. now i'm medicated properly and it can have its effects as well, but thankfully the new meds don't effect me sexually at this point.

swingtown - a new show on cbs - we liked it and record it on DVR. It all looks pretty much "period" for the times. My only thought is: I wonder how many people will watch that and think they can be swingers?

A paradigm shift - polyamory - Your thoughts? Here are mine... - This is a big big topic... good one. It is true to say that an amazing thing about being human (thank any God figure you'de like :)) is that we have an INFINITE capacity to love. It is most obvious in women but exists in us all. I understand all of the comments about walking a path together, finding the one and only, etc and that is a great way to live but the fact is, we can love more than we do. We can choose to want to be with a certain person more than any other but we can love many. The easiest way to show this is that when a child is born they make the parents feel as if they could never love like they do this first beautiful child but when others come along what we experience is an expansion of our capacity to love. It is limitless. As mothers and parents can love many children so can we all love many others. We dont need to, some dont want to, but some feel it is a natural and Godly way to live. The biggest obstacle to it is jealousy or feelings of ownership which Swingers have largely learned are "lower thinking" attributes and, at least as far as the physical goes, they are beyond jealousy etc (of course I mean the healthy ones). Big Love is a real deal. It scares many people, even swingers but it is the next and logical progression in the more enlightened thinkers out there, which many swingers are. We swingers have at least tackled the threat that comes from "physical" sharing but many are scared to death to hear their loving sharing spouse express feelings of love for another man or woman. A great book on this topic is "The Future of Love" by Daphne Rose Kingma. It's excellent. Im sure this idea (polyamory) is not for everybody but it is natural and can be as rewarding and freeing as swinging is I'm told...(Jealousy, guilt and ownership are unnatural 'learned' behaviors). I already know I cant be 'everything' to my loving partner but am I strong enough to allow her "love" someong else? Oh wait... is that really my decision? Thats my 2 cents... Dave