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This lifestyle - What are we really? - Posted By: JSTLKN07 Reply posted on:
Jan 22, 2008 - 12:25 pm
We like to think that we're doing what makes both of us happy. If that makes us swingers or polyamorous, or whatever, then that's cool with us. Our label we give ourselves isn't important, nor do we care about it.
We beg to differ. That label is important from certain standpoints. Now, if you meet us and tell us you are a poly couple seeking a poly relationship, we can tell you it won't go far since that is not what we want. That way, you know it isn't going anywhere fast and so do we. No need to drag it out for a while and then "I thought you...." or "I got the impression.....". If I am looking for a certain type of relationship, isn't it better to know up front and not waste anybody's time and get hurt feelings?
We are going to Vegas and want to do something sexy - Please share your ideas on what we can do - Has anyone visited any of the clubs and what has been your experiences. The wife and I are headed to Vegas July 15th - July 22nd We are specifically looking at Green Door, Red Rooster and Swingers Circle. Not sure which we are going to yet.
Why swingers are happier. - - Ya, what they said!
Tooele swingers party 2 - Doing our second party - [quote=Harleynight12345678]Are singles invited?[/quote]
Well that's a Harley the Misses would like to ride!
What really defines a TRUE swinger? - - [quote=INVITESOME]We never have viewed single males as swingers. To to us and most of our swinging couple friends single males are cheap sex toys you carefully pick from, use them on rare occasions and then return them and forget them. Sounds harsh but the great thing is that is exactly what the majority of single males that we have all met like. We have only met a couple single males out of hundreds that have broken the mold and surprised us. [/quote]
For the record at least our experience we have met far more
couples where one or the other of them is just plain weird than
singles. In fact we almost prefer singles over couples for that
reason. Either way life is too short for bashing fellow Lifestylers.
People should take their bad attitudes & imagined desirability somewhere
else!
Moab Utah - Swingers in Moab - Corona arch today.
Why do they run? - Why do most couples run when you suggest a real full swap? - Like what was said in the post above..we are not looking to replace our mates. It\'s not the fear of replacement for us either. We tried the first time on sepreate beds, and neither of us liked it very much. We both missed each other as we could hear each other but not see. When we all moved into one bed, it was a million times better. I must confess that I get more enjoyment watching my wife get or give then I do getting it most of the time. We prefer to play all together, not as two seperate couples the whole time, such as both guys playing with one wife while the other wife is pleasing her, etc. and when we do pair off, I love to reach over and hold my wifes hand as she is coming and I love to feel her hands in my hair as I please the other wife...It\'s just what we are into.
We have zero interest in playing apart. We are very much in love and are so tuned into each other that many times it is hard just to seperate and go to work. I know we might be making some of you sick, but that is the way we are and any of you who have met us will back this up.
We are not judging, the last thing anyone needs is more judgement. If you like to split up, more power to you, it\'s not our thing and we have no interest.
If this makes us les than swingers, well then, we are less than swingers and happy :)
Have fun with what ever your thrill is!
Art and Dawn
Help With Wife - Wife has fantasies but is super hesitant to experiment. - [quote=EVILDOERS]Personally I think you might be a little too eager (can't blame you, we all were when we started) and pushing just a little too hard to make her fantasy a reality. Rather than trying to find a way to get around the "Catch 22" of her fantasy maybe just explore it more verbally and see if it evolves into some kind of scenario that she is comfortable with that more easily can happen in the real world.
The most successful swingers we know, ourselves included, arrived at where they are by being open and supportive of each other's fantasies and desires without forcing them in any way. In other words, be patient, explore your fantasies verbally and maybe role play, a LOT, with each other before you jump into anything that either of you isn't quite ready for.
You might be surprised as you fantasize openly and honestly how your fantasies might evolve and become something that you eventually can and will make a reality. You know your wife better than anyone and maybe she does need a little nudge but most of the swingers we've known over the years who've crashed and burned did so because one partner pushed the limits too fast and didn't wait for the more hesitant partner to catch up. In our case we were quite surprised and what our fantasies morphed into when we really dug deep and talked about the truly deviant (by local standards anyway-lol) aspects of our fantasies.
Sorry, I know that's probably not the kind of advice you were hoping for but it's been our observation over a rather lengthy swinging career. Another thought, if you're bound and determined to make your first swinging experience a MFM, is to find a guy who is okay with just watching you two play or maybe getting involved in some soft swinging...i.e. back rubs and or touching but no intercourse. We were soft swap for the first year or two of our swinging life and it was great fun and took the pressure off until we were ready to take the next step. Best of luck!
edit- Sorry about what now seems like a long rambling response. In my defense it was pre-coffee. [em]Emo_79[/em] [/quote]
damn EVIL, I have read most of your responses and there are alot of smart ass comments. this however was not. This helps me and the MRS alot. thank you... BTW love the smart ass comments also..
What would you do? - what does a person do when their spouse no longer wishes to paticipate - SPALD,
Swinging is a recreational thing. It should never define your relationship. As in anything in life, you have to be fluid, dynamic and open-minded, all while realizing your limits and the limits of your partner. Swinging is not a neccessity. Before we all made it real, it was a fantasy. No one can convince me that fantasies must be a reality or we'll all die. If that were the case, then the only people on earth would be rich or those that care nothing for material things. Healthy swinging is something you can pick-up and lay down. If you need to swing, I think you are in it for the wrong reasons. I think "lifestyle" is a bad word. This is not a lifestyle. It's a sexual choice. We don't live to swing or swing to live. We swing because we are horny and want some strange. There is nothing mysterious about it. We are sexual creatures and swingers just do not allow religious (moral) restraint to interfere with their sex life. That's my opinion.
-Don-
Swingers dying out? - Is the utah swinger community dying or becoming to needy? - Oh, I didn't know the OP meant this literally. Yes, we've actually seen quite a few dead and dying swingers by the side of the road especially up around Lava Hot Springs. I think it's probably something in their environment. Maybe ingesting too much nonoxynol-9 or those weird little meatballs in Crockpots you see at most swing parties. Next time we see one we're gonna take it home and try to wash some of the spooge off it's coat with some Dawn dishwashing liquid and nurse it back to health with copious amounts of Red Bull and Jager shots. [em]Emo_67[/em]
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