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Meeting couples at places other than lifestyle events/clubs - - We are opening up to more people in the work place and in general to some of our understanding friends. Which so far has been great, infact we've turned a few friends into swingers. We are always open about our sexuality and sex life in general so when people talk to us about stuff and they find out about our lifestyle. They tend to come back later asking more and more about it. Overall the searching through profiles does get old, but we do enjoy seeing new and old friends come on the site. For us the chats and private meets are exciting. its kinda fun to do a bit of searching.
Whats wrong with our profile? - - ok.. did some research...lol
only 22 couples in colorado between the ages of 25 to 40, that have pics, and have logged in, in the last 5 days....
just not alot of colorado swingers on this site....
This lifestyle - What are we really? - Well I think that is crap. We are TRUE swingers by all means. We have sex with other partners. We do NOT make love to anyone else. We do NOT love anyone else but each other. However, we do have very good friends that we can hang out with and have a great time with, with or with out the sex taking place. So by your definition we would be Poly. But we do not love anyone but each other. We have swinger friends that we just hang out with and not have sex. We have B-B-Q's and let the kids play and then the next night we might all play. We exchange B-day gifts and all that jazz. We love them as friends but that is as far as it goes. In fact we have very few vanilla friends left because we get along with the lifestyle friends so much better. Please don't take that first sentence as rood, it's just that read your comment to agree with our outlook on the lifestyle but we define it differently.
Newbie Advice? - - Unless that's specifically the scene you are looking for and only want to play in you might want to seriously reconsider your screen name. A HUGE misconception among single males looking to play in the lifestyle is that most, or even many, married males are cucks looking for a bull to fuck their wives. While there certainly are some that are into that scene they are a very small minority of swingers. You might want to check out some cuck-specific websites or maybe even some Hotwife sites rather than swinger sites if that's your thing.
Is this one of your rules? What is it? is it fear? or something - Does everyone feel this way? - CLASSY:
Good topic! :)
Neither Siren nor myself have set any specific rules about time parameters being met before we'll play with a couple, but as always with many things in life...our playing has it's dynamics and nuances, which are always evolving.
So, to respond to a few of the questions you posed:
Fear of STD's? Not specifically.
Fear of thinking of ourselves as sluts? Absolutely not. Sometimes sluthood is fun!
Fear of others thinking we are sluts? We don't and have never given a patoot about what others think of us.
Values, morals? No way! We are "swingers" after all, and besides...we've both spent our time in an organized "forum" (former mormons), worrying about whether or not we were being "worthy" or if Jesus was happy with us; we're sooo done with that!
Do we have to BBQ before we'll fuck someone? What's the point of that? Besides...sometimes through the interaction of a BBQ you realize, "I really don't wanna boink this person."
If our kids have played together? Nah...children fall outside of the spectrum of the specific lifestyle. They're part of the social nature when we're not swinging with those that we have met during the course of our experiences. It's all good.
Is random sex scary? Well, yes it is...or it CAN be...but especially if you don't practice wisdom and are not reasonable by indulging in indiscriminate sex with EVERYONE you come across. There are some seriously scary-ass people out there! This question is along the same lines as the first question of fear of STD's.
Taboo? Well, hell...yes it is...and I believe that is part of the intrigue; part of the whole mind-game of swinging.
Bottom line: Siren and I have been known to play on first dates, and we've been known to wait a long time, and as can be expected have had a grab-bag of results. We never carry an agenda or ulterior motives (expectations) when we socialize or meet people. We can draw no conclusion using the good vs. bad experiences and if they were a first-time play or not.
We do, however, go with how we feel at any given moment and at any given event. You know...sometimes it just feels right and sometimes, the Mo-Jo is simply not there.
~J~
Swingers clubs are the new singles hangout? - - I think Swing Clubs are the Best Deal in Town for single women. Most places let them in for free or a small fee. They can dance, eat, drink and have all the Sex they want all night long. If they had the same deal for men with equal amounts of women present traffic cops would have to be hired for crowd control.
KUTV2 NEWS 10:00 P.M. TUESDAY NIGHT - Couples Now At Risk - Only swingers could joke about this.[em]Emo_12[/em]
See life issues please help - Wife needs help understansing - I wanted to comment on a specific thing the OP said; many swingers are not swingers because they were "bored". Imagine a couple that vacations every year to the south of France and have a wonderful time, but one year decide to try Puerto Rico. Did they do something new because they were bored with their usual spot? No, they were looking for an adventure, to meet new people, to experience something different. Most swingers, the ones that are in a good place, are happy in their lives and also want to explore and expand their horizons. If you are afraid your spouse is "bored" with you then everything in the swinger lifestyle is going to appear more exciting and this is a recipe for jealousy and resentment. Remember that NRE is electrifying and exciting but ORE is just as valuable, if not more; it gives us real joy and comfort and that is sexy too.
Feelings on Karma - spouses in a open relationship that break the rules, then will allow you to also - Are you serious?
If it sounds like a good topic for The Jerry Springer Show...
People like that are not good "swingers" for lack of a better term. They are foolishly wagering their relationships to be self indulgant (sp?). The Lifestyle is about TRUST. It is about HONESTY. and believe it or not, supreme COMMITTMENT. I dont even really see how your situation has anything to do with swinging. The rules were set. The rules were broken. It is simply CHEATING.
Anyone who would enter in to a committed relationship, whatever type it is, only to break the rules that you two have agreed on as a couple is selfish in my book. This means you had NO respect for your partner. NO respect for thier feelings. And absolutely NO respect for the relationship. So why bother!?
Cheating is NOT a tennis ball to be whacked back and forth between courts, or awarded as some kind of concellation prize to the victim when one is caught. I think that behavior is just sick.
But thats just my little tiny .02 cents.
Luvbugs! (mR.)
:s
Salt Lake Arts fest. - Wouldn't it be fun to get a bunch of us to meet up in the beer garden and take on the art festr - 7946437 bracelets are the swingers "live strong" type bracelets.... The numbers are the letters corresponding if you were texting...
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