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single males - - Thank you for opening the topic. I hope that it will be used shed some insight and not just complain. In a place like Habits there are vanilla singles that have no clue that swingers congregate there. So there will naturally be more problem in that environment than a private party. At a house party the only people that should be there are those that are invited by the host and hostess. Every one of the guests should have known the rules or etiquette of this lifestyle. If you had complaints, they should have been addressed last night with the hosts. Evidently the balance you were looking for was not there. Sadly it is difficult for most singles to figure out how to talk to a swinging couple. There are no schools or training centers to teach this. As a single male, conversation at a vanilla party with a couple is much easier. Most often the men and women separate and we talk with one or the other without expectations on either side. Sometimes conversation is just conversation. I find that making friends is generally more difficult in this lifestyle because of the sexual expectations of many. I think that you will find a number of the single men, after getting the cold shoulder from many husbands, find it easier to attempt to talk to the women because they lack the skills to talk with both. It is a mistake but it is also part of the learning process. There is no excuse for rude behavior on the part of the single male but neither is there an excuse for the typical married male attitude. Single males are always and have always been a pariah and dam few couples want them at any party. I came into this lifestyle as a single male looking to make male friends to hang with that would help me understand the rules. I found most of the males were cold and suspicious and difficult to talk with. I was not looking for women to play with nearly as much as I was looking for a girlfriend that was already in the lifestyle. But I am sure that as far as most were concerned all I wanted to find was their wife

Age - New to the swingers community - is age a factor in how a couple is viewed? - Well regardless of what some folks say, age is a determining factor, especially when you reach the, "remind me of my dad" attitude, or even "you could be my grandfather"....well let me share that when I was 70, I flew to california and made love with a 32 year old beauty, most of the night, and her two comments were, " you should really start a school teaching young guys how to fuck", and " I have never in my life has this many climaxes in one night !" and I was obviously old enough to be her grandfather...so I guess...you are free to gravitate to whoever turns you on, but honestly, more often than not the older ones are far more appreciative of the situation and will work harder to make certain you are satisfied cause by now have learned to take care of their own needs, in their own time, but always AFTER YOU, as a partner are not only satisfied, but usually exhausted. I have paid membership in FOUR different sites, in an attempt to find a "friend with benefits"since the passing of my wife...she and I had an extremely active sex life prior to her developing cancer which curtailed her abilities to share, but I am still alive, I am still going, I still love sex and I am 74 years old. And after months of being told I am too old, I am still looking because making love is no less important to me than any other teenager...*S*

Permissive still requires permission. - Permissive still requires permission. - [quote=WildNomad]I could go on for days about the misogyny and objectification I have experienced in the swinger world. I'll try to be concise. Here's a quick guide on how to not be part of the problem at lifestyle events. (And when I say "you" below, I mean everyone) 1) Don't objectify women at every opportunity. If my tits are out, they are not out for you to stare at and make comments on every time you interact with me. They are certainly not out for everyone to touch without permission. They are out because I enjoy being naked. Even when I am naked I am still a strong feminist woman. I am not a toy for your to objectify. Treat me like a human. 2) Ask for what you want. Never presume. Do you want to hug, kiss, touch or fuck me? Ask. It's as simple as that. Here's an example. You: "Can I kiss you?" Me: "Hell yes" See? Easy. 3) If it's not a Hell Yes, it's a Fuck No. If all parties involved do not feel 100% Hell Yes! about the situation, it's a no. I see this a lot in one partner "taking one for the team". That is never ok. There is more but if everyone would do those 3, swinger events would be vastly improved. [/quote] Just because an actress or actor chooses (Hopefully it was their choice) to be nude on camera, and or act sexual, as in acting, does not mean they owe anyone anything, and they are not granting anyone permission to take sexual liberties with them. Same can be said for nudity, or sexual behavior at a swingers event. Or on a web site for what it's worth. We suppose, that if we get naked and behave sexually, in a semi public venue, that we cannot completely control who might see us. Granting permission to view, through proximity, does not grant permission to touch, or take any other sexual liberties.

Weeding through the real/ fakes - I wish there was a "validation " on profiles.. - PolyCouple, I think you're pointing to a cultural gap that we've also been frustrated with for years. We fall more into the independently open category, which puts us closer to the poly-lite and kink communities than the swinger community. We've found that a lot of swingers have the men negotiate the process and that's a huge turn off for us so we end up considering it a red flag in terms of what we're looking for. No judgement, it just clearly wouldn't work with our dynamic. We're free to talk to and do whatever we want with whomever we want. And we do. It's just different. But, in general, only hearing from the man does also make it hard to figure out if you're talking to a real couple or if there's true enthusiastic consent involved on all sides. Especially with so much catfishing going on over on other apps. Maybe the site could have badges or tags that filter searches.

Swingers dying out? - Is the utah swinger community dying or becoming to needy? - Ok, This is going to insult an awful lot of people. You

Swingers In Uniform - Pay your memorial day respects here. - Hell Yah! To those who give us freedom, to my best friend Tom who was in the first marine devision that went into Iraq. thank you and bless you all. Patty and Rich

Vegas March 10-13 - Looking for some fun - We are going to be down in Vegas March 10-13 and wanted to have some fun… we were thinking possibly going to a swingers club or bar/drinks/room and meet up with some fun sexy couples. Let us know if you’re interested. M&H

Looking to establish a group of safe swingers - - I like to join the group I been off for alittle bit , is time to jump back in see Familiar faces :)

Girls that are into DP - How common is this activity among the swingers? - You know what's funny about DVP is if you are with the right couple, DVP is actually not that big of a deal as far as the comments about "not wanting to touch another guy's dick. When you are in this situation, you aren't thinking about the other guys dick. You are more focused on what she is experiencing. It's very hot to see a woman in total sexual bliss while she is stuffed full with two cocks. Although, you have to be somewhat selective and don't try it with two monster cocks if she isn't used to it. That can be more uncomfortable for her than fun. DVP is very hot if you take your time, get her ready for it, lots of foreplay etc.. And for the guys with this macho, homophobic hangup, c'mon already, you know more than anyone if you are gay or not. If you're not, you should be comfortable. I think the guys that have homosexual tendencies are the most hung up about getting labeled homosexual just because they touched another guys dick. If my wife is having fun and getting off on the situation, I don't care what I'm touching. I'm all about pleasing her..

Party Etiquette - How do people manage risks? - Mr here. So, the party that we went to before Halloween was a good party. It seemed much like another orgy that I participated in a few years ago, except this time I had Ms. Honeybunny with me :) That made me a little more aware of how people were interacting with each other, and I have a few questions about etiquette in those situations. Obviously, protection is important for a number of reasons, and pretty much everybody there was using condoms, cleaning toys after use, etc. However, one thing that I did not notice anybody using was dental dams or any kind of protection for oral sex. In a world where 70% of Americans have some form of herpes, for example, how do you deal with the risk of contracting it if you don't? Or what if you have other STDs? I would hope that if you have a temporary STD like chlamydia you would avoid lifestyles events until it cleared up, but nobody was talking about it. What if you have a more permanent STD, like the herpes mentioned above? Or AIDS? Or HPV? Two of those are really common, but also relatively harmless; do people just assume that other swingers do/don't have them or that the risk in not meaningful? I didn't really hear anybody talking about it, but I"m not sure if that's unusual or not. What's the typical protocol for situations like that? Also, now that I'm thinking about it. What would be the protocol if you DID pick something up from an event?